This episode will have certain references to Episode 18 - Daily Report and Episode 19 - Saturday Night
Anshuman lay in his bed, unwilling to even shift sides. Last night had been one of great fun with his friends. They spent three...or maybe four hours (he couldn't quite remember) drinking, smoking and talking (or bitching) about things...and of course, people.
Their discussions had started around largely civil topics, such as the coronavirus and the Government's policies. But very quickly, they escalated to fellow-residents, colleagues and bosses and women. Anshuman also vaguely remembered sharing his boss Lata's Instagram page with his friends - he couldn't, however, remember whether or not they were impressed with what they saw. By the time they had finished, Anshuman had been too wasted to realise that he had forgotten to lock the terrace - Pedro had to come to his rescue.
But this was a Sunday morning, so he wouldn't have to worry about waking up early. He checked the time on his smartphone - it was only around 11:30 am. He could easily stay in bed for another hour, and wake up just in time for lunch...lunch that would be prepared and delivered by Parekh Aunty downstairs.
Today was his well-earned rest day.
Or so he thought!
His moment of peace was disturbed when his phone rang - it was Ajju.
"Hello?" Anshuman's voice betrayed the sleep in his eyes.
"Where the fuck were you? We've been trying to call you since four hours!" Ajju was clearly agitated.
"Me...Pedro...Anky...Raju...remember we met last night?"
"Hey...cut the sarcasm man! You're sounding like my boss now! Tell me what happened!"
"Check your whatsapp messages...right now!"
"Will you..." Ajju hung up before Anshuman could finish his sentence.
Anshuman checked his messages - there was a deluge. Many of them were forwards of the same video message - a video message by the local MLA. He clicked it and listened attentively.
Namaskaar. I am your humble servant Chandulal Bhigona. As of 11 pm on 25th April, there have been twelve new COVID-positive cases in our area, and three patients have died. With this, the total number of active COVID 19 cases in our area has touched 63. We should all be very very concerned.
As you all know, I had promised to introduce stringent measures to enforce strict implementation of the lockdown. Accordingly, since the past two days, we have been conducting aerial surveillance of our area with the help of drones. We found locals - youngsters and elders alike, roaming freely in the Hanuman Nagar and Thakurgaon areas, and that too without masks. They started running indoors as soon as they heard our drones hover above them.
Our drone also captured images of people gathering together in crowds on building terraces. There were children cycling, youngsters playing card games and adults having elaborate tea parties. This complete disregard of social distancing rules is really irresponsible and shocking, and if this does not stop soon, strict action will be taken.
I must also point out one building in particular. Till about 6 pm in the evening, our drones got visuals of kids running around and cycling on the terrace. About exactly 6 pm, three men came and drove away the kids, before settling down for a drinks party. Exactly an hour later, these three men made way for a group of five who then had a smoke and drink party of their own, with loud music playing in the background. One of them got drunk and began impersonating yours truly.
I this opportunity to warn all of these rule-breakers to mend their ways, or else we have all the evidence required to enforce action against you.
Stay home. Stay safe. Jai Hind.
Idiosyncrasies of a Covidiot
All episodes so far
Episode 01 - Aaho-Choo Story
Episode 02 - Bus-Ted
Episode 03 - Bohemian Clapsody
Episode 04 - Departmental Chor
Episode 05 - Exceptionally Coarse
Episode 06 - Fruits & Nuts
Episode 07 - Gross Spread
Episode 08 - Helping Hands
Episode 09 - I Want to Break Free