BREACH OF FATE

It was almost closing time, and the bar was empty barring a couple of tosspots. The bartender was already busy mopping up the floor when Elliot entered like a whiff of stale air. He perched himself atop a high stool at the far end of the counter and asked for the cheapest rum known to mankind; he had to settle for second cheapest. He then began nursing his drink like a first-timer instead of downing it like the lowlife that he was.

Tonight was the rare night he had to remain sober.

Ten minutes later, the door to the bar swung open with a rusty creak. Elliot lay down his glass and turned around. He sneered - Chubb had arrived earlier than he had expected.

The podgy and stodgy Chubb struggled to get himself up on the high stool next to his 'old pal'. When he finally settled down, he took time to fill his lungs with much-needed air before he could start talking.

"Well, Ellie boy! Did I keep you waiting for too long?"

"Of course you did!", said Elliot, avoiding eye contact, "I've been waiting here for almost an hour now". He finally gulped his drink, allowing the dark liquid to scorch his throat on the way down. "You owe me a drink or two."

"Alright Ellie boy.". Chubb turned to the bartender, "Hey Billy! One Cider for me...large...and one large rum...?"

"The best one in town, as always!", Elliot responded, twitching his nose. Not all compulsive liars were masters at their art.

"There's so much I wanna share with you Ellie boy. This has been quite an eventful....nay...lucky week for me."

"Yeah? How come?", Elliot snarled in a weak attempt at a fake smile.

"On Saturday, my boss caught me watching porn while at work. He came running towards me, probably to drag me out by the collar. Before I could react, he tripped on a cable and hurt his head real bad. He's now in hospital and he doesn't remember a thing. Mighty lucky, huh?"

Elliot didn't react too much. "You were working on a Saturday? I thought you didn't work on Saturdays."

"Oh...erm...I had to meet some urgent deadlines.", Chubb took a nervous sip from his glass.

Elliot continued, "Well, I was with someone on Friday afternoon...let's call her Suzy for now. Her husband was at work and my wife was at the marketplace. We figured we had enough time for a quickie or two at my place, and so she came over. To our horror, Wifey suddenly decided to change plan and landed at our doorstep just as Suzy stepped out of the elevator. Thankfully, she read the situation smartly and stepped back in just in time. How's that for lucky?"

"Sweet. Say, the last time we met, didn't you say you were taking your family to the fair on Friday?"

"Yeah. We changed plans though. It's quite hot these days, isn't it?"

Chubb gave him a knowing glance. "Anyway...on Sunday I was supposed to attend a friend's wedding in a village far from here. The chapel was situated across the river, and the wedding party was supposed to be ferried across in a huge boat. They say the groom began a little jig which soon assumed monstrous proportions, and the boat turned turtle. The groom's mother was among five people who drowned and another 16 people got seriously injured. The bride ended up losing all her teeth, and the groom's toupee was found floating a few metres away. Guess how I got saved. I got stuck in traffic."

"That's quite interesting. I thought you would be busy watching football on Sunday. Well, on Saturday evening, I ordered a double-cheese burger from the new outlet at Woody's Lane. It didn't arrive on time, and I called up the store manager to give him a piece of my mind. The argument heated up and ended with me cancelling the order. I found out later that evening that at least a dozen people had been struck down with food poisoning after having their burgers. Two of them are battling for their lives."

"Oh Boy...we're both so lucky!", Chubb kept his glass down and started clapping in a manner that would put circus seals out of business.

"Lucky bastards...that's what we are!"

Then they both burst out laughing, in perfect harmony.

Suddenly, a part of the roof directly above their heads came crashing down on them.

Don't tempt fate...and don't let it be spoilt for choice either.


Tonight's pic has been provided by an Instagrammer who calls herself Lex Icon. She describes herself as a "bitch, explorer, and an all around great gal". Her Instagram URL is www.instagram.com/starletlexy

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