Monday 2 April 2018

BREACH OF FATE


It was almost closing time, and the bar was empty barring a couple of tosspots. The bartender was already busy mopping up the floor when Elliot entered like a whiff of stale air. He perched himself atop a high stool at the far end of the counter and asked for the cheapest rum known to mankind; he had to settle for second cheapest. He then began nursing his drink like a first-timer instead of downing it like the lowlife that he was.

Tonight was the rare night he had to remain sober.

Ten minutes later, the door to the bar swung open with a rusty creak. Elliot lay down his glass and turned around. He sneered - Chubb had arrived earlier than he had expected.

The podgy and stodgy Chubb struggled to get himself up on the high stool next to his 'old pal'. When he finally settled down, he took time to fill his lungs with much-needed air before he could start talking.

"Well, Ellie boy! Did I keep you waiting for too long?"

"Of course you did!", said Elliot, avoiding eye contact, "I've been waiting here for almost an hour now". He finally gulped his drink, allowing the dark liquid to scorch his throat on the way down. "You owe me a drink or two."

"Alright Ellie boy.". Chubb turned to the bartender, "Hey Billy! One Cider for me...large...and one large rum...?"

"The best one in town, as always!", Elliot responded, twitching his nose. Not all compulsive liars were masters at their art.

"There's so much I wanna share with you Ellie boy. This has been quite an eventful....nay...lucky week for me."

"Yeah? How come?", Elliot snarled in a weak attempt at a fake smile.

"On Saturday, my boss caught me watching porn while at work. He came running towards me, probably to drag me out by the collar. Before I could react, he tripped on a cable and hurt his head real bad. He's now in hospital and he doesn't remember a thing. Mighty lucky, huh?"

Elliot didn't react too much. "You were working on a Saturday? I thought you didn't work on Saturdays."

"Oh...erm...I had to meet some urgent deadlines.", Chubb took a nervous sip from his glass.

Elliot continued, "Well, I was with someone on Friday afternoon...let's call her Suzy for now. Her husband was at work and my wife was at the marketplace. We figured we had enough time for a quickie or two at my place, and so she came over. To our horror, Wifey suddenly decided to change plan and landed at our doorstep just as Suzy stepped out of the elevator. Thankfully, she read the situation smartly and stepped back in just in time. How's that for lucky?"

"Sweet. Say, the last time we met, didn't you say you were taking your family to the fair on Friday?"

"Yeah. We changed plans though. It's quite hot these days, isn't it?"

Chubb gave him a knowing glance. "Anyway...on Sunday I was supposed to attend a friend's wedding in a village far from here. The chapel was situated across the river, and the wedding party was supposed to be ferried across in a huge boat. They say the groom began a little jig which soon assumed monstrous proportions, and the boat turned turtle. The groom's mother was among five people who drowned and another 16 people got seriously injured. The bride ended up losing all her teeth, and the groom's toupee was found floating a few metres away. Guess how I got saved. I got stuck in traffic."

"That's quite interesting. I thought you would be busy watching football on Sunday. Well, on Saturday evening, I ordered a double-cheese burger from the new outlet at Woody's Lane. It didn't arrive on time, and I called up the store manager to give him a piece of my mind. The argument heated up and ended with me cancelling the order. I found out later that evening that at least a dozen people had been struck down with food poisoning after having their burgers. Two of them are battling for their lives."

"Oh Boy...we're both so lucky!", Chubb kept his glass down and started clapping in a manner that would put circus seals out of business.

"Lucky bastards...that's what we are!"

Then they both burst out laughing, in perfect harmony.

Suddenly, a part of the roof directly above their heads came crashing down on them.

Don't tempt fate...and don't let it be spoilt for choice either.


Tonight's pic has been provided by an Instagrammer who calls herself Lex Icon. She describes herself as a "bitch, explorer, and an all around great gal". Her Instagram URL is www.instagram.com/starletlexy

Please feel free to leave comments. You could leave a comment irrespective of whether or not you liked what you read. It's a great way to start a conversation or a dialogue. Most importantly, it helps me get better.



22 comments:

  1. What I did like about this was that both of them are just fit for each other, both seemed like compulsive liars. There was a little part at the end where I wasnt sure who was doing the talking but since both of them were more or less lucky in weird ways until the finale I guess that dint matter very much.

    Bodylicious @NamySaysSo

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    1. Well, they cooked up stories and finally fate caught up with them. And fate didn't even need to choose...Fate got two at one time 😜

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  2. Replies
    1. It was intended to be black comedy. I think the joke's on me now 😜

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    2. Although did not expect their end this, I somehow guessed u may connect them in some way..fate.. Absolutely indefinable. You cannot expect the fate, to come at a particular date, it my come late and may wait wait your gate. Terrific CRD. c is for change- cacophony in the Kitchen. Do have your say on my post too.have a nice day :)

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    3. Haha. Nice little rhyme there Deepa. Thank you.

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  3. Life can be really unpredictable - when you think you have everything figured out, it flings a tight slap across your face

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    1. I think you misunderstood this as a tragic story.

      Thanks for the comment though 😊

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  4. Replies
    1. Huh? Yeah, yeah. Truth of life....😜

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  5. What a match...Elliot and Chubb! Now I wonder, will their souls also keep on chitchatting and cooking up stories from their graves?
    Good one!

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    1. I love genuine comments. Thanks a ton for patiently reading through. Glad you liked it 😊😊

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  6. In the race to beat one another, I guess, the fate won, of course? Love how the stories kept leveling up, besting one another, and then it couldn't have ended in a better way! Perfect choice of the title. Nice one!

    B is Bold – Love is not my need

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    1. Thanks a ton Shweta. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the compliment.

      Great to bump into you after at least 4 years...thanks to the A to Z Challenge.

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  7. I had to laugh at Chubb's name. Where I used to live, there was a liquor store called Chubb's. I thought it was coincidental you had a character at a bar with the same name.

    It's satisfying that through all their one-upping, they both met an equal fate. Karma must have saw it fitting.

    "One Cider for me...large...and one large rum...?"

    One minor critique. I'm not real bar savvy so I don't know if you can order "large" drinks at a bar. Kind of makes it sound like he's at a fast-food restaurant. Maybe look into how alcohol is served (pints, half pints, shots, etc).

    Other then that, great post!

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    1. Hahaha...I actually did a google search on unusual nicknames, and this was one that I thought would be funny.

      Thanks a ton for the feedback. I will be mindful of that henceforth.

      You have been very constructive and generous with your feedback. I really appreciate that. Thanks.

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  8. Reminded me of the movie Final Destination :)

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    1. Oh no...in Final Destination, fate had already picked his victims. Here, Elliott and Chubbs were constantly cocking a snook at fate.

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  9. I liked the climax. Serves them right! It may sound a bit harsh but maybe that's how fate reverts to lairs.

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  10. It's all about fate......and destiny..... :) Good job :)

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  11. Both trying to outweigh others claim by lying. That's how it happens in real life too. But, fate was bit too hard on them I think.

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  12. Loved these words in the beginning - ' like a whiff of stale air'. Then this line threw me off - Tonight was the rare night he had to remain sober. Thought Elliot was plotting to hurt or kill his friend. Was that the intention?

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