Saturday, 27 March 2010

JERKS!!


I stood on the platform, wiping the sweat off my brows, my neck, and my newly-shaved pate. The indicator which said 9:02 ST just a minute ago, suddenly blanked out. When it came back to life a minute later, it said 9:10 ST. I cursed under my breath – Central Railway never gives up cancelling trains. The announcement system blurted out something that sounded like Chinese mumbo-jumbo. I guessed it was about the godforsaken cancellation.


Train cancellations in Mumbai are a pain. Not only because your time management goes for a toss, but also because late and cancelled trains mean extra-crowded trains and thereby wastage of laundry expenses in a matter of seconds.


They were three of them. All of them had their shirts un-tucked and unbuttoned to the third button, had thick golden disco-chains adorning t heir necks, and wore thick ‘kadaas’ on their wrists. Two were short and stocky, while the third was super-slim and tall. All were in their early 30’s.


The 9:10 train arrived right on time, at 9:15 to be precise. As the train began screeching to a halt right in front of our eyes, the 3 of them raised their hands to touch the side of the engine, as if it were a deity. As part of their strategy, they kept their hands raised for a little longer, even after they had their touch, coz they knew the ladies’ compartment was what would arrive right after the engine.

2 of them managed to brush shoulders. But the tall one landed a bulls-eye. He smiled at the others vindictively. They sniggered in appreciation and waited for the train to halt.

No sooner had it halted than they started shoving, yelling and cussing in their mission to get in. They stepped in and landed knees and ‘el-blows’ on unsuspecting people. They had to get right in, to their brothers who were waiting for them. I followed them in after a mini-combat of my own. And I saw their brethren. A whole dozen of them, sitting comfortably – just 3 on a seat as opposed to others adjusting with 4 on 1. They didn’t let anyone occupy the ‘gully’ between the seats where they were sitting. A few poor chaps who tried were welcomed with a few choicest words. Luckier ones managed to get away with threatening pushes.

This was the Brotherhood’s den.

The 3 joined them.

Then they all started pulling out their weapons.

5 minutes later, when they were all ready to fire, they started in tandem….

Clang-Clang…..Clang-Clang-Clang….Clang-Clang-Clang….
“Raam Krishna Harey!!!...Raam Krishna Harey!!!........”


How I hate dholaks and manjeerays because of the jerks who wield them.

9 comments:

  1. hahhahahahahhah!!!!! godddddddddd it sounds so awful from the outside... i dont even want to know hw it seems liek from the inside!!!!! :P :D :D

    awesome post chris! :)

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  2. Mad stuff... was a good beginning to a novel-kinda thing. MaN, u can actually to get serious about writing, you've got it going on there...& m never hanging out of trains anymore!!!

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  3. Mad stuff... was a good beginning to a novel-kinda thing. MaN, u can actually to get serious about writing, you've got it going on there...& m never hanging out of trains anymore!!!

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  4. "because late and cancelled trains mean extra-crowded trains and thereby wastage of laundry expenses in a matter of seconds"
    pretty cool! :)

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  5. Bombay locals. You love em, you hate em but you can't ignore em! Nice write up!

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  6. Traveling in a Mumbai local train everyday is an adventure :) one can write a blog everyday :)hehe

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  7. delhi metro is much better.. but very soon the scenario is gonna b matched with the mumbai locals.... good write up :)

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  8. Heya!!! sending an award your way, make place for it on your shelf :D :D :D, come, collect it from by blog!

    ReplyDelete

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