Sunday, 23 December 2007

CORPORATE DISCOVERIES




After a 15 month sabbatical from an 'Office' job, or rather a "Non-family Office' job, I've finally found myself a job in a really BIG BPO. I've finally become a member of the corporate sector. Joined on the 10th. It's been a great experience so far, and I find myself exposed to a culture that's very different from what I've been exposed to so far. I've discovered a lot of things, some really shocking (call me naive if you want to, aisa hi hoon main :p). Read on to see whether you've ever felt the same, and feel like disputing my claim that these are MY discoveries.

  • There's no one in the organisation whom you would need to address as 'Sir' or 'Madam'. Which gives you a nice feeling. A feeling that all are equal. Until, of course, the day comes when everyone gets their paychecks. [:p]

  • Everyone is supposed to converse in English. Except in the elevator, the cafeteria, in the company bus, while using the staircase, in the loo, in the smoking zone, in the classroom when your 'Trainer'/'Team Leader'/'Team Manager'/'Operations Head'/'Other Superiors I've never come across just yet', are not around. So basically, you're supposed to speak in English only when you know you're being watched.


  • Everyone speaks in English. But some speak English that's a level higher and beyond the comprehension of the others. Actually, it's beyond the comprehension of any English Scholar too. It's supernatural. All the past Queens of England would turn in their graves at the speed of light if they had to hear those gems[:P]

  • The smoking zone was a really new concept to me. never before had I been exposed to sooooooooo many smokers at the same time. Almost a 100 of 'em puffing away to glory, in perfect harmony. And 40% of them are females. And to think that prior to the 10th of December, I had never found myself amidst more than 2 smokers.


  • To admit that you're a teetotaller is a complete No-No. It is like self-proclaiming yourself as "Horlicks Champion" or "Bournvita King". And you risk being hailed as the same daily, if not every 5 minutes. And no, these are not titles to be proud of. (That was for peeps who're more naive than me).


  • You risk losing your sense of appreciation for beauty (read Pretty Young Things). There are just TOO MANY of them all over the place. Even the superiors and Trainers look great (no kidding!!!) So much beauty to behold, so little time. No wonder you lose interest very soon.


  • The staircase is NOT to be used to navigate up and down floors. They are meant for mini-parties, mehndi applications, gossip, and the likes. They are mainly meant for COUPLES who desperately need to steal some private time. And God Forbid if you ever happen to disturb any couple from the dozens out there by mistake (really, it was by mistake :p), you should hang your head down and walk by as if you saw nothing. I haven't seen anything till date, so don't ask me for details.


  • There are CCTV's all over. And they'll work only when you yourself one day decide to test their prowess.


  • There are lots of activities. Games that help to break the ice between colleagues. And they're really fun, till the time its your turn to perform a forfeit and do a Shakira belly-dancing item. And there are many occasions when you have to introduce yourself stating your name, age, previous working experience, likes and dislikes. Its a nice thing, but it really can get on your nerves when you have to say the same things 2 dozen times in less than a dozen hours, to different people. Why don't they record it once and for all and play it for anyone who really wants to know about us? [:P]

But nevertheless, I've made a lot of friends in no time. Hopefully they'll be my friends for life. And I've met some amazing trainers who're really down-to-earth, sporting, who can laugh at themselves, and who personify teamwork. I've met some who command a lot of respect, and I can't help but respect them, coz they really deserve every bit of it.



Still more discoveries to make. Hope none of my superiors come across this. And even if they do, look, I've said some good things too. So don't be too harsh on me, okay guys? Lemme not discover that I've been fired for CORPORATE BLASPHEMY!

34 comments:

  1. Seems you are enjoying the to and fros of business stream. Best wishes.
    Keep your eyes and Mind open and beObjectivistic, things will come in your favor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. congratz for being member of corporate sector .... ! Nice post ..

    ReplyDelete
  3. hmmm....
    tilted towards corporate world....

    ReplyDelete
  4. First jobs r most often than not a great learnin experience nd a gr8 place to find friends 4 life....so make the most out of it

    ReplyDelete
  5. its surprising tht u hvn't bn around more thn 2 smokers at a time.. lol.. nice post yaar..

    ReplyDelete
  6. hmm...m actually quite afraid of the BIG offices & stuff...but then that's life...goin 2 get a job next year ..so lets see...ur points will be taken care of

    Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL. that was hillarious.especially the staircase part. Reminds me of my own company. Ive used the staircase too ;)

    we don't have a smoking zone though. And we have to call our bosses 'Sir'.

    Nice post yaar. Stop writing poems and keep posting such humorous articles. Anyways not all of can understand your hi-fundoo Hindi and urdu na? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Abhishek Joshi xSystem1 January 2008 at 21:05

    Everyone speaks in English. But some speak English that's a level higher and beyond the comprehension of the others. Actually, it's beyond the comprehension of any English Scholar too. It's supernatural. All the past Queens of England would turn in their graves at the speed of light if they had to hear those gems [:p]

    this one really rocked ... u have an amazing sense of writing stuff ...
    and a fantastic sense of humor ... i really was laughing my way reading that 1st blog

    nice werk dude ... keep up the good werk

    xsystem

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yeah that is a very important thing...A superior who can laugh at himself....And when i thought that female ratio was decreasing you are telling me that female smokin ratio is increasing....Aww..Hey...You make a cartoon strip like dilbert does on corporate life or lack of it !!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's supernatural. All the past Queens of England would turn in their graves at the speed of light if they had to hear those gems

    dats classic

    ReplyDelete
  12. from the official perspective u have many more to learn.... its a rat race literally...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Interesting observations!!I hope you are making the most of it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. @me - i'll take ur advice man.
    i'm talkin to me..am i a schizo? [:o]

    ReplyDelete
  15. @setu - hmmm..ty:) (y is everyone hmming?)

    ReplyDelete
  16. @kenneth - second job dude. no frnds for life man. i feel so let down

    ReplyDelete
  17. @shayan - sure man.
    and oh, dont trust too many ppl with details of ur personal life. ull regret it. absolutely no one

    ReplyDelete
  18. @parijaat - u dirty old man :P
    oh me writing poems or not dependson my mood..u hate my poems?? [:(]

    ReplyDelete
  19. @abhishek - thnx man. and being in the same company, i think these are not secrets to u.

    ReplyDelete
  20. @zahid- hehe. naw man, this was just one of my experiences. i dont specialise in corpo jokes :P

    ReplyDelete
  21. @dan - :|. uninteresting comment

    ReplyDelete
  22. @tarakeshwar - wokie dokie

    ReplyDelete
  23. @rashi - yup. not anymore though..im free [:d]

    ReplyDelete
  24. 1) tell me what BPO stands for, no idea why it sounds familiar !

    we can make a quote out of it (remember, everyone is equal, but some are more equal) we are all equal, our pay checks are not.

    i'm amazed at the increasing ratio of women smokers, ch. this is really sad!! and the sadder is that you've never come across so many smokers in so small time :P

    wow, i never knew staircases can be used this way? who'd they apply mehndi to?

    ps. thats no blasphemy, keep discovering :p

    ReplyDelete
  25. congrats dude... life in a BPO can be hard at times, the trick is to keep yourself together.. I have worked in both UK and US shifts as a N/W engg.. I have worked on almost all public holidays, every day of the week and every hour of the day :) those 'pretty things' keeps you going...

    ReplyDelete
  26. nice discoveries !! all true to the core !! Njy ur life and wish you all good luck :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Why are u making us read old posts n comment on them! :P Has ur brain stopped churning new stuff?? :D

    Nice, I got a call from a BPO myself! I decided that I would stay up late night only cos I wanted to and not cos I had to work! :P And hence rejected the offer and currently make only 5 grand a month running my own business! :( But atleast I get a lot of time for myself....

    ReplyDelete
  28. A jovila nad fun account of your new work environment.May you enjoy many hours of bliss there.

    http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete

TYPE YOUR COMMENT IN THE BOX BELOW AND CLICK THE "POST COMMENT" BUTTON

Popular Posts