WHAT AN IDEA....NOT

The following is a story from 12 years ago, when I was a college student. Life was carefree...well, almost. A typical day involved attending lectures, hanging out at the college canteen with our friends-circle, making plans for the weekend, watching those plans go down the drain since everyone dropped out one by one, music, mimicking professors...basically doing what any regular B.Com student worth his/her salt would do. Another major difference in those days was that I had a nice crop of hair, which eventually disappeared into thin air. More about the hair in another post.

Anyway, the story goes as under:-

It was 5 pm. I was supposed to meet the gang - Sundeep, Akhil, Brian, Saloni and Namita and Pete - only at around 7.30 pm at the newly opened lounge. But the fact that I was excited about this outing meant that I'd finished my evening bath (my second for the day) by 4 pm, and I'd finished dressing up by 4.30. Thereafter I'd spent all my time greasing my hair with the newly-purchased hair gel and trying out new hairstyles. I'd only been thirty minutes into my hair grooming when the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Chris?  Pete here."

"Hey Pete...ready to go?"

"Erm...almost."

"Did you shave Pete? Please don't come looking like the Yeti."

Pete's profile:-

There is a famous phrase that goes 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'. Not everyone lives by this adage though. There are some of us whose relationship with personal hygiene is restricted to placing our hands under running water for less than a micro-second. One example of such a chap was Stinky Pete. He was a nice guy. Quite brilliant, he's someone who puts all his efforts and a lot of time into a task. However, personal hygiene was never his forte. His appearance was always shabby. He rarely ever shaved, so much so that whenever he did arrive with a clean-shaven face, no one would recognise him but for the horribly tousled hair on his head. There were rumours doing the rounds that he wouldn't bathe for days together. Even though he was part of our friends-circle, nobody wanted to sit next to him because sometimes the smell would be overwhelming. As a friend, I once confronted him about this. Only after long deliberation did he finally confess that he took a bath only once in three days.

Back to the story:-

"Well...yeah. I'm at the hairstylist's."

"Good. So what're you wearing."

"I'm gonna dress well Chris", he said, sounding a tad nervous. "Say...erm...are you busy right now?"

"No. Why?"

"Can you meet me at the departmental store? Need to pick up some stuff."

I looked at my hair. Still unsatisfied with the styling, I said rather reluctantly, "Umm...no dude. Really sorry. I'm getting ready...need to go for a bath."

"Ohh..alright." He hung up.

I felt a little guilty about this, but soon went back to worrying about my hair.

Excitement brought me to the entrance of the pub 15 minutes before the decided time. I was taking a good look at the crowd entering the outlet when someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Wassup?", the voice sounded familiar.

"Pete???"

I looked at him from head to toe. He was impeccably dressed. White tees on blue jeans was usually a fool-proof combination. He had a smart looking sports watch on his left wrist and decent sports shoes on his feet. Best of all, his hair was trimmed short and his ugly-looking stubble was gone.

"What happened to you dude?", I said visibly perplexed. "You look so different."

My smile told him I was impressed. "Like it? I got all of these from the departmental store."

"Good job man. I hope this is a change for good."

He simply laughed it off.

The rest of the group arrived in bits and pieces, but well before time. All of them were shocked to see the change in Pete. He couldn't have been happier.

We entered the pub, hoping for a great evening.

However, by 8 pm, everyone was back to keeping a safe distance from Pete.

He approached me when he couldn't bear it any more.

"Chris!"

"Mmm...yes", I said, holding my breath.

"I thought things would change today. What's wrong now?"

"I don't intend to be mean Pete", I said, quickly running out of breath. "But I need to ask you something."

"What?"

"Did you have a bath today?"

"Why would you ask me that?", he said in a tone that was almost accusing. "Don't you guys see the change?"

"Well", I said, still struggling, "It was a good idea to go to the stylist and buy new clothes."

"Then what is it?", he barked.

"You see, Pete", I said, ready to put the argument to rest, "The idea was swell....but what about the smell?"

Moral of the story: Save your social life. Bathe daily.

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