LAST REGRET

Yuvi had lost his patience by now. He took a long, hard look at the shopping list in his hand. This was his third visit to the ‘shaving kit and accessories’ section in the past 20 minutes. The pretty young thing managing the section was beginning to look at him suspiciously, probably thinking he was trying to act fresh with her. Unfortunately for him, she was quite pretty. The last two times he had visited this section, he had dared to smile sheepishly at her. She did reluctantly return the gesture then, but this time she certainly didn’t look the least amused. This time, he swore he saw her lips whisper “idiot”. He certainly did feel like one. In his mind, he cursed his roomies.

Hostel shopping lists are usually like that – without a head or a tail, totally unorganized, with just names of roomies and lists of objects of desire (read shopping items) under the names. No one really cared about organizing the list. All they were concerned with was getting their names and items on paper. Planning the mission was the headache of the person who was doing the shopping. This week’s misfortune fell on Yuvi’s head – it was his turn to do the shopping this week, for himself and 4 other roomies. He had unwittingly decided to follow the list name-wise, meaning that he’d finish Ashu’s list first, then Tarun’s, followed by Abby’s, Shiva’s, and then his own. He was on Abby’s list now, and since Abby had asked for razors and shaving foam, just like Ashu and Tarun did, he was visiting this section of the store for a third time. Now that good sense finally hit him, he checked Shiva’s list to see if he needed the same. A scan of the list revealed that he didn’t. Yuvi swore under his breath again.

Quickly picking up the needful and walking away from this section, he saw a face that looked quite familiar from a distance. She was standing at the billing counter. Her face was sweet. Her skin was smooth and dusky, and without any blemish. Her fringed hair fell beautifully over her face, and though they covered the eyes, the long eyelashes crept out from underneath. Her lips were plump and as pink as a rose. His heart skipped a beat. He tried his best to walk towards her without letting her notice. He got close enough to have a better look of her face, just to make sure it was her. He stopped in his tracks. It was Khushboo alright. Their past flashed right in front of his eyes.

He remembered how they met on the first day of college, both being victims of ragging. She had to sing while he danced. She had done a decent job, he didn’t. The raggers had hated her performance, but they loved his. Raggers somehow love things that make them laugh, he had learnt then. Anyway, after the performance, he and Khushboo realized they were in the same class. They sat on the same bench that day, and thereafter too. They attended lectures together, bunked together, visited the cafeteria together, did their assignments together.

And then one fine day both magically decided that they wanted to spend their lives together as well. The whole college knew that they were inseparable. Even their parents had a doubt. Yuvi’s roomies never let him sleep at night. They kept pestering and teasing him about her. But he was happy. So was she. The good thing was that their academics were never affected. Both did quite well. Both wanted to be Software Engineers, and both were on the right track. Everything was going good and steady.

But like they say, all good things come to an end. The end came here too, and it was quite bitter. In the last year of their degree course, they weren’t able to spend enough time with each other. Both felt themselves being neglected. Words like “Love ya baby” and “Lets go out” were replaced by “You could’ve called first”, “Why should I always be the one to wish you first?”, “Is it only you who can be busy?”, and the likes. The cracks developed slowly but surely. It was there for everyone to see. Barely a month before their final examination, they broke off. They refused to even look each other in the face, leave alone call or SMS each other. But like most lovers, Yuvi couldn’t accept the fact that he had broken-off with his love of 3 years so easily. He pined for her to come back. He missed the moments they had spent together. But no, he never tried to go up and try speaking to her, or sort out matters. A whole lot of ego, yes, but another reason was that he wanted to make sure that she missed him too. He wanted her to make the first move. But she didn’t make the first move. Neither did he.

This was almost a year ago. And here she was right now, just a few feet away from him. He felt his heart was beating fast as he wondered whether he should speak to her. “Will she respond? Will she talk to me? Will she be happy?.” A million thoughts rushed to his head like waves during high tide. Finally deciding to strike a conversation, or atleast make his presence known, he tiptoed towards the billing counter.

He positioned himself a metre away from her, right in front of her face, hoping she’d notice.

She turned towards him.

He let out a faint smile, saying nothing.

She stared at him for a few seconds.

The look was one of shock, he sensed.

And then, she looked through him, pretending as if she didn’t notice. She paid her bill, and without turning back, she walked away.

And he was heartbroken again. For the next couple of weeks at least. And then he moved on.

He regretted trying to speak to her and vowed never to do it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever wondered how strange it is that you and a significant other were once strangers…and then you met, became part of each others’ lives…and then one day you part ways and are strangers again..strangers meet to become one, and then break apart to become strangers again? And sometimes you’re reluctant to try making things better, but when you finally try, you’re left with a bitter taste in your mouth, and regret ever having tried!