Sunday, 30 March 2014

WHAT AN IDEA....NOT

The following is a story from 12 years ago, when I was a college student. Life was carefree...well, almost. A typical day involved attending lectures, hanging out at the college canteen with our friends-circle, making plans for the weekend, watching those plans go down the drain since everyone dropped out one by one, music, mimicking professors...basically doing what any regular B.Com student worth his/her salt would do. Another major difference in those days was that I had a nice crop of hair, which eventually disappeared into thin air. More about the hair in another post.

Anyway, the story goes as under:-

It was 5 pm. I was supposed to meet the gang - Sundeep, Akhil, Brian, Saloni and Namita and Pete - only at around 7.30 pm at the newly opened lounge. But the fact that I was excited about this outing meant that I'd finished my evening bath (my second for the day) by 4 pm, and I'd finished dressing up by 4.30. Thereafter I'd spent all my time greasing my hair with the newly-purchased hair gel and trying out new hairstyles. I'd only been thirty minutes into my hair grooming when the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Chris?  Pete here."

"Hey Pete...ready to go?"

"Erm...almost."

"Did you shave Pete? Please don't come looking like the Yeti."

Pete's profile:-
There is a famous phrase that goes 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'. Not everyone lives by this adage though. There are some of us whose relationship with personal hygiene is restricted to placing our hands under running water for less than a micro-second. One example of such a chap was Stinky Pete. He was a nice guy. Quite brilliant, he's someone who puts all his efforts and a lot of time into a task. However, personal hygiene was never his forte. His appearance was always shabby. He rarely ever shaved, so much so that whenever he did arrive with a clean-shaven face, no one would recognise him but for the horribly tousled hair on his head. There were rumours doing the rounds that he wouldn't bathe for days together. Even though he was part of our friends-circle, nobody wanted to sit next to him because sometimes the smell would be overwhelming. As a friend, I once confronted him about this. Only after long deliberation did he finally confess that he took a bath only once in three days.

Back to the story:-

"Well...yeah. I'm at the hairstylist's."

"Good. So what're you wearing."

"I'm gonna dress well Chris", he said, sounding a tad nervous. "Say...erm...are you busy right now?"

"No. Why?"

"Can you meet me at the departmental store? Need to pick up some stuff."

I looked at my hair. Still unsatisfied with the styling, I said rather reluctantly, "Umm...no dude. Really sorry. I'm getting ready...need to go for a bath."

"Ohh..alright." He hung up.

I felt a little guilty about this, but soon went back to worrying about my hair.

Excitement brought me to the entrance of the pub 15 minutes before the decided time. I was taking a good look at the crowd entering the outlet when someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Wassup?", the voice sounded familiar.

"Pete???"

I looked at him from head to toe. He was impeccably dressed. White tees on blue jeans was usually a fool-proof combination. He had a smart looking sports watch on his left wrist and decent sports shoes on his feet. Best of all, his hair was trimmed short and his ugly-looking stubble was gone.

"What happened to you dude?", I said visibly perplexed. "You look so different."

My smile told him I was impressed. "Like it? I got all of these from the departmental store."

"Good job man. I hope this is a change for good."

He simply laughed it off.

The rest of the group arrived in bits and pieces, but well before time. All of them were shocked to see the change in Pete. He couldn't have been happier.

We entered the pub, hoping for a great evening.

However, by 8 pm, everyone was back to keeping a safe distance from Pete.

He approached me when he couldn't bear it any more.

"Chris!"

"Mmm...yes", I said, holding my breath.

"I thought things would change today. What's wrong now?"

"I don't intend to be mean Pete", I said, quickly running out of breath. "But I need to ask you something."

"What?"

"Did you have a bath today?"

"Why would you ask me that?", he said in a tone that was almost accusing. "Don't you guys see the change?"

"Well", I said, still struggling, "It was a good idea to go to the stylist and buy new clothes."

"Then what is it?", he barked.

"You see, Pete", I said, ready to put the argument to rest, "The idea was swell....but what about the smell?"


Moral of the story: Save your social life. Bathe daily.


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31 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha LOL
    Funny!!!
    I hate smelly people! He cud hav at least applied some actually a lot of perfume! No?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He could have. I think the idea didnt occur to him.

      But then again, sometimes mere drops of perfume cant camouflage months of hard earned sweat and grime :P

      Delete
  2. Hahahaha! Did pete bathe daily after that? Did he stop smelling? Did you both lived happily ever after?? :)) I am curious! Fun... Love your writings! All the best Chris :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pete got a lot wiser. He owns a spa today.

      Hows that for imagination and creativity? :p

      Thanks Shesha :)

      Delete
  3. Haha! That's why one should make it a routine. He could have bought some deo though! Nice one :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, he should've thought of that. Stupid guy!

      Thanks for dropping by :)

      Delete
  4. Funny! How could he frget main thing "to spray deo". Eww..Even i hate smelly people :-P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never said I hate smelly people :p He's my friend :)

      But yea, maybe I hate the stench of smelly people.

      Delete
  5. And I read this while my colleague is stinking like a Gutter.
    This was a fun read.
    Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe. Call the Municipality chaps ;)

      Delete
  6. Hehe some friends and smells never leave :) Enjoyed reading this CRD :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Awesome phrase Reshma :p

      Thanks :)

      Delete
  7. lol goes to show that appearance doesn't matter if you have bad body odor :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appearances might matter from a distance, or if your nasal orifices are blocked :p

      Delete
  8. haha...!! I hate smelly people too..I have this urge to tell them to go away !

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahahaha :D I WOULD DIE LAUGHING..

    Loved it CRD :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You meant "hay main has-haske mar jaawaan!" ?? :p

      Thanks Enchantress :)

      Delete
  10. I loved it :D Moral too!! ;) :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it :) So you've learnt an important lesson, huh? :P

      Delete
  11. And I read this while my colleague is sitting nearby and stinking like rotten eggs+ spoilt milk+ decaying onions. GASTLY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Red Handed! Second comment on this post, and your colleague stinks in both. hahahahaha.

      He really needs a deo or something :P

      Delete
  12. haha that was a good one :)
    and pete wore the new dress with out bathing. That is eeeks!
    hope he took ur suggestion seriously
    Good luck for the contest. Thanks for ur time on my blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, going by experience, old habits die hard.

      So, I guess he now invests in really good deos

      Thanks :)

      Delete
  13. HAHAHA... I like the punch line!! Good luck with the contest :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is unbelievable!!
    And you wrote it as a promotional post??
    Din't have a clue till the end!!
    The video was equally hilarious

    ReplyDelete

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