Friday, 31 July 2009

LAUGH...


Hickory Dickory Dock
Christo Comes Up To Talk
He Bobs His Head
They Laugh Aloud
Hickory Dickory Dock.....


Its Not Always Fun To Make Others Laugh......especially when you didn't intend to...

Now Playing
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you 
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
Wonder what you're doing
wonder where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
well you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
well you shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's no one left that's real
to make up your own ending
let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me



Sunday, 19 July 2009

BETTER-OFF...



Its 10 weeks now since he hadn't come face to face with her. Seemed like ages to him. He knew it hardly mattered to her. He was desperate to speak to her. If she was desperate at all herself, it would probably be desperation to get rid of him. But the heart plays games - or is it the mind? And the games played are usually rough.

He had phoned her 6 weeks back - after 4 weeks of psyching himself up for the 'brave' move -  with some vague reason, and they'd had a lovely 36-minute conversation. He thought of calling her again, but I didn't have a convincing alibi. He knew she wasn't the types to fall for just any trick. Since then he'd been constantly reminding her of his existence by sending her silly sms jokes and inspirational messages. She used to message him back as well, with a "hi" or a "good morning/evening/night" at the end of the message.

But this was till 2 weeks back. She had suddenly stopped all contact for some reason. He hadn't stopped his message-barrage yet. But there was absolutely no reply at all. It was as if he didn't exist at all. He wondered what must've happened. Every time he'd send a message, he'd keep staring at his cellphone-screen, waiting anxiously for a reply. 10 minutes after every message he'd send her, if there was no reply, he'd get very upset, and keep looking back at his cellphone at 10-minute intervals.

This wasn't the first time this was happening to him though. Oh no, it wasn't! His mind raced back to 3 years ago. He was in love then - it was real love. It WAS!! But that one ended with a lot of pain, a longing, anxiety and Futility. And with depression. He had become a zombie then. Somehow he had managed to pull himself out of the pain only a year ago.

But he was now beginning to feel the same longing, the same pining, the same anxiety, the same wait....the same Futility!!!

A relapse of 3 years of pain? Hell, he didn't want that again! No he DIDN'T!!!

He picked up his cellphone and got rid of all the mushy stuff that could tempt him into sharing them. He got rid of his inbox. He deleted all the mushy songs he'd loaded in his playlist. All he needed to do now was get replacements - to fill up his now empty playlist.

He decided it was Heavy Metal now till the next season came. It was time to call Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Opeth, Killswitch Engage, Lamb Of God, King Diamond, Puddle of Mudd, and others to the party.

Maybe he was better off alone.



NOW PLAYING : MARILYN MANSON - TAINTED LOVE


P.S. There's a CONTEST happening on the BLOGGERRATTI Community on Orkut, the theme being "WALKING IN THE RAIN". 

Click --> CONTEST DETAILS.



Wednesday, 15 July 2009

I HAVE DONE 9 STUPID THINGS OUT OF 37



Tagged by: Prajwala

The more [x]’s the “dumber” you are.

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking
[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
[  ] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[  ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself
[x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 3

Well, yeah, gum has fallen off my mouth both while speaking and while not, coz I spat it out. Now that aint stupid, is it?

When you're all alone, you think (unless you're a Zombie). So yeah, I must've thought about something funny, and laughed about it. ALONE! So What? :P

[  ] You have run into a tree/bush.
[  ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[  ] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times
[  ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little
star have the same rhythm.
[x] You just tried to sing them.

Well, yeah, just tried singing them. Just to make sure whether the high notes in the 2 octet matched exactly.

Didn't understand what I just said? Mission Accomplished! :d

So far: 4

[  ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit .
[  ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[x] You’ve never seen the Matrix.
[x] You type only with two fingers.

Ok, the spit part is grosse, so maybe I'm dumb there:P

I think whoever made the Matrix is either dumb, or thinks his audience is dumb! Hell , even Lawrence Fishburne (Morpheus) once admitted candidly that he did not understand the plot, so why blame me if I stopped watching the movie midway? 

I type with 2 fingers. I'm not DUMB! I have FAST fingers!

So far: 7

[  ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[  ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your
nose/eyes.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
[  ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

Well yeah. Not just once, many times! 
Don't ask me what I was looking at on those occasions. :P

So far: 8

[  ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[  ] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[  ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[  ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[  ] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 8
Phew!

[  ] You have eaten a bug
[  ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something
more important
[  ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and
didn’t realize it
[  ] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in
your hand
[  ] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 8
Hah!

[  ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say
will happen to you if you don’t.
[  ] You break a lot of things.
[  ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused
[  ] You have fallen out of your chair before

So far: 9
My Lucky Number!!!

[  ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the
texture of the ceiling or wall
[  ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

TOTAL: 9
HAH! Told You its my Lucky Number! :)

9 out of 37.

24% !!!

I FAIL!!

I AINT DUMB!

WOOHOO!!

I pass this tag to whoever is vela, or is facing a fatal bout of Writers' block.

Takhliya!!


P.S. There's a CONTEST happening on the BLOGGERRATTI Community on Orkut, the theme being "WALKING IN THE RAIN". 

Sunday, 12 July 2009

THEM SELF-OBSESSED BASTARDS


Disclaimer: All characters in this post are fictitious and do not bear resemblance to any person living or dead, or hanging in between. Any resemblance would be a coincidence.

If it is NOT a coincidence, and a character does resemble someone, that someone needs serious and urgent help, and a really hard kick on his/her backside :P


Somewhere in a troubled state in India

B_ _ _ _ ji - Its my birthday next year...haaaaynnn. Build me a statue.

Crony - Oh but madamjee, you already have a dozen all over the state. And that's not counting the 60 elephant statues you've unveiled.

B_ _ _ _ ji -  Chup raho badtameez...else I'll have you plastered in one of them. haaaynnn...What's the status of the donation drive for my birthday party at the Taj?

Crony - Hotel Taj in Mumbai? But that's....

B_ _ _ _ ji - The Taj Mahal of Agra, you daay-um phool. haayynnn...Did people donate enough for my birthday cake?

Crony - Of course maidum-jee. Our extortionists are doing a good job. Only 1 fool dared to protest, and he's been packed off to another world. heehee.

B_ _ _ _ ji - Good good. So am I going to have a 100 kg cake this time? Last time's 52 kg one was sooo iss-small..haaynn haaynn?

Crony - 100 kg? That's it? Oh no maidumjee, we're making one the size of a statue this time. And we've arranged for someone to train you on handling a bulldozer too.

B_ _ _ _ ji - A bulldozer?? Why?

Crony - To cut the cake na maidumjee. Big cake no?

B_ _ _ _ ji - Oh good good. I haaynn like it. haaynn haaynnn. So how much have we spent already?

Crony - We haven't even touched 100 crores maidumjee. Don't worry.

B_ _ _ _ ji - You haven't crossed 100 crores yet? How dare you say that? What have you peepul been doing? Build me more statues! FAST!! Are you doing this injustice to me because I am a gareeb Dalit ki beti? Boo-hoo. You cheap upper class kameene-log. Don't you know I'm a living Goddess? Dalits will never forgive you. 

Crony - What about those fools who keep complaining that they are hungry and unemployed, and need food, education and employment?

B_ _ _ _ ji - Arre, I'm building statues na? For their benefit only. They will pray to my statues and they will be saved, no? 

Crony - You are a genius maidumjee! Dhanya ho aapka! Aap DEVI ho!!

B_ _ _ _ ji - I know! haaaynnnn!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere in Blogosphere

Soil-eatery-crapper - Hey dude. I 'am' participated in a contest for best blogger. Will you votes for me?

Me - Dude, I need to be fair here. Show me all the nominated posts and I'll vote for the best, if I find time to read.

Soil-eatery-crapper - You wanting to read all? Why dude? I'm telling you na, I'm among the bestest. Right now I am 2nd. I just need 3 votes to lead.

Me - Dude, I said I'll be fair. I'm not gonna vote for you just coz I know you.

Soil-eatery-crapper - Ok I've mailed you 'a' award...no..3 awards for your blog. Now will you vote? Vote na please.....

Me - Show me all the nominations dude.

Soil-eatery-crapper - Here.

URL 1
URL 2
URL 3

Me - Hey, they re all of your own blog.

Soil-eatery-crapper - Of course. I'm only making it easy for you na. I'm shortlisting for making easy for you.

Me - Sorry dude, but...

Soil-eatery-crapper - And oh, 'by the ways', one of your posts has been nominated for most humorous post of 2009 on my bloggers' community.

Me - Which one? 

Soil-eatery-crapper - 
URL..this one.

Me - Eek. That's not my funniest post. And what do I see, 3 of your own posts have been nominated in the same category? None of em are funny, though your vocab sure is.

Soil-eatery-crapper - Yeah yeah, whatever. So are you gonna vote now?

Me - Nope

Soil-eatery-crapper - Okay, any of your other blogger friends 'is' online?

Saturday, 4 July 2009

THE ANCIENT TREE ON WHICH IT HUNG


Dark was the night and weird the atmosphere. It rained from time to time. Gusts of wind shook the nearby forest. Between thunderclaps and the moaning of jackals could be heard the eerie laughter of spirits. But King Vikramaditya swerved not. He climbed the ancient tree once again and brought the corpse down. He flung it over his shoulders and walked towards the cremation ground with a determination to keep complete silence as he had vowed to the sage.

However, as soon as he began crossing the desolate cremation ground, with the corpse lying on his shoulder, the spirit that possessed the corpse said, "O King, I can't understand what your aim is. What is it that you wish, for which you're undergoing such difficulties? It is midnight, pitch dark, and no one can see anything. Aren't you frightened? Why are you risking your life amidst wild animals, ghosts, and poisonous creatures? Its been decades already since you first started this silly routine. Aren't you tired already?"

'I sure am', mumbled King Vikramaditya to himself, careful not to break his vow of silence. He kept walking.

"Well, I'm out of ideas and exotic names to weave a long story. So let me ask you a mathematical question."

'Dammit......should've paid attention during those darn arithmetic classes', thought the King to himself, and waited for the question to be thrown at him.

Betaal continued, "Someshwar from Janakpuri in the Kingdom of Ujjain, joined the Varanasi University. He had 4 subjects in the last year of his study. If he scored 37, 45, 29 and 33 respectively out of 100 in each subject, and needed an aggregate score of 35% in order to clear the course, what was his academic result? If you know the answer and still keep mum, your head will be blown into a thousand pieces."

Already feeling his head reel at the seemingly tricky riddle, the naive King shrugged his shoulders and said, "Pass".

"Holy Devil...you've got it right again eh? But you've broken your vow of silence again, silly boy! Hah!", laughed Betaal, and zoomed off, back towards the ancient tree.

But when he reached the spot, the tree had fallen. A couple of chainsaw-wielding men, were sitting on its massive trunk, already calculating how many tonnes of timber they had laid their hands on.

With no where else to dangle from, the spirit, carrying the corpse with it, went back and clung to King Vikramaditya's drooping shoulders.






SAVE TREES.....NOT JUST THE LIVING, BUT EVEN THE DEAD NEED THEM!

Wonder how many of you have ever read the Indian comic books of old, like 'Chandamama' and 'Tinkle'. I grew up with them. I preferred Chandamama more than Tinkle, coz Tinkle had more of rustic slapstick humor, the kind they have on the gazillion stand-up comedy shows we have on TV nowadays. Champak was a strict no-no, it had terrible English. Chandamama on the other hand had lovely stories, with morals and learnings. MAny of these stories were based on mythology, the vedas, and ancient Indian History.

Unforunately, today's kids are hooked onto Archie's. Which I personally feel is more suitable to 'tweens'.

Cheers 


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