Sunday, 15 August 2010

WE WANT FREEDOM...


India celebrates her 63rd Independence Day today. On this very day, 63 years ago, our erstwhile British colonists left us and our neighbour to settle scores with each other. Our forefathers decided we had finally gotten our freedom on that day.

Our generation, however, feels we're still in chains. We have yet to get freedom. The oppressors might be in a different garb and form, but they're still very much there. We're still in bondage, but we live in denial.

Today's India wants FREEDOM...

from...

...poverty
...illiteracy
...casteism
...corruption
...rising costs
...high electricity bills
...border conflicts
...civil war
...cockroaches & flies
...diseases
...sweat & body-odour
...hairfall
...aging
...religious fanaticism
...racism
...regionalism
...reservations, hell yeah!!
...violence
...bed bugs
...traffic jams
...stadium-sized craters on roads
...India TV
...saas-bahu soap operas
...rona-dhona and bitching on 'reality' shows
...Kites, Milenge Milenge and Raavan
...Ram Gopal Varma
...bullying superiors
...pollution
...global warming
...paan and gutkha stains
...spam mail
...teleshopping network
...calls to download caller tunes
...sleazy and unaesthetic condom & contraceptive-pill ads
...holier-than-thou self-righteous creatures
...God TV, Aastha Channel, Miracle Network,...
...CID and ACP Pradhyuman
...Aahat and its dancing cameraman

While we dream of freedom, here's wishing you yet another

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

Cheers
CRD

P.S. - Feel free to add to the list via your comments. It'd be interesting to know my readers' take

Sunday, 27 June 2010

WORLD CUP SPOILERS



The FIFA World Cup 2010, being played in South Africa, is already in its pre-quarter final stages. It's an event that happens once in four years, and obviously football lovers like me have been looking forward to it for a long long time.

It's usually blokes, whose favourite teams fail to win the cup, who look forward to the next world cup, hoping their team will kick ass the next time around. My then favourite team, Argentina, failed at the quarter-final stages then. This time though, Spain is my favourite team.

There are a lot of things that make world sport events like these a big hit with viewers. Watching players play for national pride, and fans cheering, and rivalries play out - both on and off the field - banners, flags, et al, these are what make World Cups special.

This World Cup, however, has a few things which I don't quite like - or rather, which I absolutely abhor. They've kinda played spoilsport with my football-fever.

Presenting, things from FIFA World Cup 2010, South Africa that get on my nerves:-

  1. The "Wavin Flag" Anthem - I just hate the song. Sounds less like a motivator, and more like as if a cranky kid is jeering at a grown-up. "When I get older, I'm gonna screw ya...I'm gonna kick yer ass, kick yer ass...!!" Bring on the Waka-Waka instead.

  2. The Jabulani - The football being used at this World Cup, called the "Jabulani", which in Zulu means "rejoice", is a huge dampener. Apparently, it's difficult to control, and is absolutely unpredictable, what with the bends it takes, and its speed. It kinda has a mind of its own. No wonder football geniuses look like drunk retards this time around.

  3. The Vuvuzelas - The "Ultimate" torture. Imagine a million mosquitoes buzzing around your ear, on a 'power-cut' night...This sounds worse than that. Apparently, it's an instrument that's played in churches in South Africa. The Churches there shouldn't be surprised if they see the number of parishioners dwindle over time. Blame the vuvuzelas. They're IRRITATING!!

  4. Weird Hairdos - Blonde-permed beards, braided locks, mohawks, half-moon patches, green hair...some players have em all. And they're not a pretty sight. Check out the Algerian squad, for instance. You'll know what I mean.

  5. EPL Duds - I'm a big fan of the English Premier League. I know a lot of players from there, and kinda follow their performances. So it's depressing to see how magicians within the league suddenly seem so amateurish on the world-stage. As we speak, the English team has crashed out of the World Cup, quite humbly. Whatever happened to stars like Rooney, Lampard, Gerrard, etc. Kinda reminds me...THE EPL clubs hardly have English players. Almost all of em are foreigners, with Englishmen only drafted in for training sessions.

  6. Dearth of Goals - This has been a pretty low-scoring World Cup. Don't count the 7-0 drubbing that Portugal meted out to North Korea - that was like India playing Nepal in cricket. But seriously, when you watch football, you really look forward to goals being scored, and that has been lacking this time.

  7. Diving Championship - This is a reason I hate sides like Portugal, Brazil, and most South-American sides. In spite of being rich in natural talent, they forget that they are footballers, and take to diving once every 5 seconds, just to win free-kicks and penalties.(Go check Cristiano Ronaldo's videos on youtube). The number of dives they put in in one match would put olympic board-divers to shame.

Anyway, got to get some sleep now, though I get that's gonna be a lil difficult now. Not only coz there's an Argentina-Mexico game coming up, but mainly coz I have a stomach infection that's getting a lil painful and uncomfortable. :( Hope I'm better by morning, coz I don't wanna miss office, lest I pile up a huge backlog.

Cheers
CRD

Friday, 18 June 2010

WHIMPER NO MORE...



When you'd ask to be walked, I'd beg for some time,
And reluctantly, but surely, take you for your walks

When you'd feel hungry and beg for a bite,
I'd pull off a chunk and give it to you

When you'd scratch shut doors and demand to be let in,
I'd gladly pull the door open for you


When you'd jump on my lap and growl like a cub,
I'd give you your daily leg massage

When you'd turn around and show me your back,
I'd scratch it for you

Whenever there was an argument and we all raised our voices,
You'd tug at our knees, and we'd shut up


When you'd jump on my bed, and ask for your space,
I'd share my pillow with you


Whenever it'd thunder, and you'd shiver, and whimper in fear,
I'd hold you close to make you feel safe

But there you were, struggling to stay alive
fighting death...creeping death,
and I could do nothing...
nothing at all...
Absolutely helpless..

Now, as you lie in your muddy grave,
completely at rest, at peace finally,
the heavens pour down, and the thunder is at its loudest.

But I know, you'll shiver no more,
nor will you whimper...

It's our turn to whimper now.

Miss You Rocky,
We Love You

Wish I could tell you one last time

Friday, 28 May 2010

FINDING MR.RIGHT...


She blew him a kiss and walked back towards us. I saw the love in his eyes as he saw her walk away.

They’d known each other for more than a year now. Everyone could see he loved her. But she was still in denial.

I whispered into her ear, “He loves you, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah”

“What about you, do you love him?”

“I dunno, I haven’t made my mind up yet”

“Why? What’s wrong? I thought you like him too”

“I do like him...but I need some time to think before I decide whether he’s Mr.Right or not.”

“How long does that usually take?”

“I dunno. But when I do, I’ll know it.”

Three months later, on Valentine’s, he sent her a huge bouquet. She gleamed as she took it from him and gave him a sweet little hug.

He had only recently gotten himself a new job. It wasn’t one that was very highly-paying, but it sure was decent.

I whispered to her again, “So, I guess you’ve made up your mind at last.”

“No I haven’t! For heaven’s sakes! You asked me only a few months back.”

“And you haven’t decided yet?”

“No...It’s a very important decision. How can I take such an important decision without thinking well about it”

“Guess you’re right”

A year later, I met them at a party. They never left each other’s side. They only had eyes for each other. They held hands throughout, and if I hadn’t to yell out loud to them, they’d probably never notice me.

I whispered to her, “Well???”

“Naw...I’m still thinking”

I didn’t pursue the matter any further and bade them both a goodbye.

Two weeks later, her facebook profile said she was “committed”

But the album, aptly titled “My engagement snaps” showed her with someone else.

When I met her, I whispered to her again, “So, how’d you meet him?”

“Met him almost two weeks ago. Our parents set us up. Guess what? He’s a green card holder!! I knew I’d find Mr.Right some day”


--- CRD

Now Playing : The Corrs - What Can I Do To Make You Love Me?

Monday, 17 May 2010

HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARY


SCRIPTED IN SANITY completed 3 years on the 16th of May, 2010.

I can't believe it's lasted so long :)

Cheers
CRD

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

SURVIVAL INSTINCT?


It was 4 in the noon...or early evening if you like. The bus wasn’t crowded, exactly as I’d expected – most offices in Mumbai leave at 6pm (on paper). I hopped onto the step-board casually, and strode in, fully-expecting a seat waiting for me. As fate would have it, there was one. Only, it was a ladies’ seat.

The day had been stressful so far – that morning, it had taken me almost 15 minutes to find directions to the office for my interview, and 10 more minutes to walk there. The wait at the bus-stop after the interview was a 20-minute ‘balance-shift-from-one-leg-to-another-and-back”, since there wasn’t any place to sit. So, when I saw the lone seat in the bus, and no standing female in sight, I instantly got seduced and made an athlete’s dash to it.

Three stops later, five people got into the bus, 4 men, and 1 slightly-plump, middle-aged woman. I immediately rose to my feet to award the seat to its rightful beneficiary, but I hadn’t even remotely foreseen what was to happen next.

As soon as I stood up, one of the men, a middle-aged portly man, with unkempt hair, a thick black-grey-white stubble, and unbuttoned shirt, pounced like a bloodhound towards the seat, like as if his life depended on it. He sat himself down with a sudden plonk, and immediately closed his eyes as if he had been stung by a sedating-syringe.

The woman reached the spot more than a hundred seconds later, the frown on her forehead and the scowl on her face clearly showing. She called out to the man, but he pretended like he didn’t hear her, only responding with a brushing of his nose, and a loud-and-clear yawn that would put Kumbhakaran to shame. She tapped on his shoulders for effect, but he only opened his eyes for a while to look at her, and then looked away with shut eyes and another yawn.

Before any self-proclaimed Good Samaritan could react and put the jerk in place, the woman took matters in her own hands and gave us all a demonstration of Woman-Power.

She tapped him harder on his shoulders, yanked him up by his arm, pointed to the “Ladies” sign, and sat herself down, to the utter horror and dismay of the jerk.

It was nice to see a woman who knew how to take care of herself, and assert herself.

Today’s women are absolutely independent, know their rights, and are willing to fight for them. They don’ take nonsense anymore. I looked the jerk in his face and scoffed at him, and congratulated the lady in my mind for her act of assertion.

Three stops later, a few more people entered the bus, which was now beginning to get crowded. One of them was a young, pregnant lady. People made way for her and she walked slowly and carefully towards the seats meant for ladies.

The middle-aged superwoman had noticed the lady board the bus. She looked up at the roof-panel above her head.

The sign placed there, which a few minutes ago only meant “reserved for ladies” for her, now read “reserved for carrying/pregnant women”.

In a split-second, she closed her eyes and pretended to be in deep slumber.

Cheers
CRD

P.S. - The pic has been taken from a blog written by a lady who absolutely hates teh fact that males plonk their asses on Ladies' seats :P. Stumbled upon this blog while searching for an apt photograph. Here's the URL - http://theladiesseat.blogspot.com/

Sunday, 4 April 2010

HER BEST FRIEND...


Sana and Reggie were classmates.

And they were best of friends.

Their friendship blossomed only in the middle of the academic year, when the two loners began sharing lunch and eventually benches. They were similar in almost all respects. Both hated speaking a lot, both were dreamers, both loved the simple things in life and didn't want too much from it.

And both loved to be with each other...

...until people started talking about them, and Reggie started getting conscious.

But Sana didn't mind the talking. She really liked Reggie a lot.

Reggie though, began to take Sana for granted.

In the month gone by, this was how days went and made her feel extremely upset.

•On day one, she saw him look upset, and asked him what was wrong, but he shrugged it off with a smile saying everything was okay.

•Being the last few days before they graduated and departed, she attended college only coz she didn't want to miss a day so that she could spend more time with him. But on day five, he told her how much he hated having to come to college every day. This made her upset.

•In week 2, she won an inter-collegiate contest, and the world called and messaged to wish her. Even people who weren't really her friends, and who hardly ever talked to her otherwise congratulated her. But he didn't. It was almost like he didn't have a clue at all. She felt hurt and unimportant.

•The next day, she had some good news that she didn't want to share with anyone else except him. She imagined how happy he would be to hear it from her mouth. But he didn't turn up that day. Her enthusiasm fizzled out

•Two days later, he finally came to college. She was seeing him after what seemed like ages. He was looking kinda cute that day. She wanted to tell him how handsome he looked, but chose not to, coz she was scared about how he'd react. It can be quite painful to keep things to yourself sometimes.

•As they left to go home, she saw him walk dejectedly out of the campus gates. She called out to him, more than a dozen times. She even ran out behind him and walked a few steps beside him, but he didn't notice her at all. She felt hurt and walked away

•The whole of next week, he didn’t attend college, simply coz ‘he was feeling lazy'. She called him up after a week, just to hear his voice, but his voice on the phone didn't sound the least happy

•On the seventh evening, he promised her that he would be coming the next day. She shooed off others who came to sit beside her, only to reserve a seat for him, and waited eagerly. 30 minutes into the lecture he messaged saying that he wasn't gonna come, and so she had to sit all alone for the rest of the day

•She gets terribly upset every time she thinks about him. Coz while she thinks of him as her best friend, and perhaps even more than that, she has no clue about what she means to him. Sometimes she 'knows' she means nothing to him at all...

It's very upsetting when someone is the world to you, but you don't feel as important to that person.

Saturday, 27 March 2010

JERKS!!


I stood on the platform, wiping the sweat off my brows, my neck, and my newly-shaved pate. The indicator which said 9:02 ST just a minute ago, suddenly blanked out. When it came back to life a minute later, it said 9:10 ST. I cursed under my breath – Central Railway never gives up cancelling trains. The announcement system blurted out something that sounded like Chinese mumbo-jumbo. I guessed it was about the godforsaken cancellation.


Train cancellations in Mumbai are a pain. Not only because your time management goes for a toss, but also because late and cancelled trains mean extra-crowded trains and thereby wastage of laundry expenses in a matter of seconds.


They were three of them. All of them had their shirts un-tucked and unbuttoned to the third button, had thick golden disco-chains adorning t heir necks, and wore thick ‘kadaas’ on their wrists. Two were short and stocky, while the third was super-slim and tall. All were in their early 30’s.


The 9:10 train arrived right on time, at 9:15 to be precise. As the train began screeching to a halt right in front of our eyes, the 3 of them raised their hands to touch the side of the engine, as if it were a deity. As part of their strategy, they kept their hands raised for a little longer, even after they had their touch, coz they knew the ladies’ compartment was what would arrive right after the engine.

2 of them managed to brush shoulders. But the tall one landed a bulls-eye. He smiled at the others vindictively. They sniggered in appreciation and waited for the train to halt.

No sooner had it halted than they started shoving, yelling and cussing in their mission to get in. They stepped in and landed knees and ‘el-blows’ on unsuspecting people. They had to get right in, to their brothers who were waiting for them. I followed them in after a mini-combat of my own. And I saw their brethren. A whole dozen of them, sitting comfortably – just 3 on a seat as opposed to others adjusting with 4 on 1. They didn’t let anyone occupy the ‘gully’ between the seats where they were sitting. A few poor chaps who tried were welcomed with a few choicest words. Luckier ones managed to get away with threatening pushes.

This was the Brotherhood’s den.

The 3 joined them.

Then they all started pulling out their weapons.

5 minutes later, when they were all ready to fire, they started in tandem….

Clang-Clang…..Clang-Clang-Clang….Clang-Clang-Clang….
“Raam Krishna Harey!!!...Raam Krishna Harey!!!........”


How I hate dholaks and manjeerays because of the jerks who wield them.

NOT AS IMPORTANT...

It's very upsetting when someone is the world to you, but you feel you're not as important to that someone...

Monday, 1 March 2010

UNHOLY WAR...

The place would be thronging with people in some time. He knew it well. He smacked his lips in anticipation. The larger the crowd, the bigger the body count. The chances of missing your shots also reduced significantly when the number of potential targets was large. He stayed put behind the bushes. He knew there might be others like him around, but he hoped no one else would come calling to share space - so what if there was enough space for three?
Hunters don't like sharing their spoils.

A minute later, a lone young lady came walking out of the building lobby, dressed in executive formals, all decked up, leather bag in tow. She seemed to be looking around suspiciously, as if she had a cue on what the plan was - his plan...

She was now just a few metres away from his den. He couldn't miss from here.

He felt his weapon again. It felt awesome. A sniper rifle. Brand new, smooth, well-finished.
And most importantly....fully loaded.

He pulled it out, trained it on his target, watched through the telescopic sight, and caught the moving image of the lady at the centre of the cross-hairs.

And then, when he was sure she was a goner, he pulled the trigger.

"AAHHHH...!!!"

She clutched her soaking-wet, blood-red blouse.

"YOU DIRTY PIG!!! I'LL TELL YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS!!!"

"BURA NA MAANO, HOLI HAI!!!", he screamed, and scampered off, deep into the garden.

















Wish we had one of these colored-water spewing guns when we were young. Kids today have water guns resembling Sniper Rifles, AK-47's and Kalashnikovs.
HAPPY HOLI!!! Please keep it Holy :P