Dassera has come and gone and Diwali is fast approaching. In other words, Ravana has been slain, Sita has been rescued, and Lord Ram, Sita and other friends are coming back to Ayodhya. So, has the story ended and our lesson been learnt? Far from it.
The Ramayana is much more than a saga of the triumph of good over evil. It is a compendium of life lessons. It attempts to showcase the characteristics of an ideal human being – Purushottam.
What lessons do we learn from the Ramayana then? Here are some of them:-
Have a set of principles, and do not compromise on them. The pursuit of materialism (Artha) and pleasures (Kama) should not be at the cost of righteousness (Dharma). Moksha can be achieved only through Dharma. This is where Ravana erred.
Karma is a bitch. Even if you momentarily get hold of something through devious means, sooner or later Karma will get back at you.
Beware of dubious attractions. Sita’s obsession with the golden deer, which was actually the demon Maricha in disguise, ultimately left her unprotected and paved the way for her abduction by Ravana.
Vicious counseling can get you into trouble. Kaikeyi’s maid Mandara brain-washed her into demanding that Dashrath send Rama into exile so that her son Bharat could become King. Eventually, this is what led her to lose her husband, and her son’s loyalty.
Arrogance kills. No matter how much you achieve in life, if you are arrogant while you’re at the top, you will fall one day, and that fall will be really bad. Ravana was a great scholar, who had the intelligence of 10 men. His devotion was so great that Lord Shiva granted him blessings, boons and great power. However, his arrogance and belief that he could get away with anything ultimately led to his downfall.
Learn from your mistakes, and redeem yourself when you get the opportunity. Ravana committed a sin when he abducted Sita, but his greater sin lay in arrogantly refusing to budge when Hanuman asked him to redeem himself.
Sometimes, heroes need a little help from friends to win their battles. Lord Rama had support from Lakshmana, Hanuman, the Vanar Sena, Jatayu, and many others. Without these friends, there might have been no Dassera and no Diwali.
Always play by the rules. Lord Rama fought his war against Ravana without any deceit. He played by the rules, and in the process won the respect of not just his friends, but also of his enemies. In fact, when Ravana was breathing his last, he stated that he was privileged to meet a man like Rama while he was still alive.
Failure to trust your loved ones can make you lose them. The Ramayana did not really have a happy ending for Lord Rama. Lack of trust made him put Sita through a loyalty test, out of which she emerged unscathed, but he lost her forever in the bargain.
No one is infallible. Let’s make no mistake. The villain of Ramayana is not Ravana. In fact, Ravana was a very learned man, and was known as a just ruler in Lanka. His tapasya towards Lord Shiva earned him great power. The real villain in the Ramayana was Ravana’s refusal to accept his mistake and his arrogance. He let his power get to his head and ultimately this led to his downfall. On the other hand, Lord Rama let society’s skepticism towards Sita’s loyalty shake his own trust, and he had to lose his devoted wife. The bottom line is that everyone is capable of making a mistake, and this is a fact we should all be aware of.
Just like happiness is a journey and not a destination, Dassera and Diwali are not events marking the happy ending of a beautiful story. The cycle of life goes on. Evil will don a new face and rise again and again. Likewise, goodness must keep rising to triumph over evil. Burning Ravana’s effigy during Dassera is only a symbolic gesture depicting the triumph of good over evil, but the fact is that evil never dies, and good forces should always be on their toes to rise to the occasion. The war is still on, it was never over in the first place.
Here’s wishing all of you many happy Dasseras and Diwalis.
INDIBLOGGER organised their biggest and perhaps their most resourceful/educational blogger meet on September 20, 2014. Organised in collaboration with BIGROCK, and (as the name of the event suggests) promoting Wordpress, the meet was slated to be a big event. The tag line LISTEN-LEARN-EXPRESS was absolutely apt for a bloggers meet, coz that's what bloggers do!
The all-day meet, which was exclusively for invited blogger attendees (makes me feel like a VIP), was held at the Blue Frog, Lower Parel. Although it was initially supposed to start at around 11, the IndiBlogger changed plans and decided to begin earlier, at 9 am, probably because of the long list of speakers. They did well to personally call up the invitees and inform them about the change in plans. I tried my best to show up on time, but those who are parents to toddlers will understand how easily your plans can go kaput sometimes. Since I had never been to the Blue Frog before, it took me some time to find the place. The event was to begin with a live Rock music performance by the IndiBlogger team, and it's a shame that I missed it.
On reaching the venue, I was welcomed with a nice-looking backpack, in which the IndiBlogger-BigRock team had packed in a flier with the agenda for the day, a BIGROCK flier informing us about free wordpress hosting and a .ME domain that they were offering to all attendees (along with a code to enable the same) and a music speaker. I must point out that the speaker is unique and awesome (in that it can amplify music being played on your phone by merely placing the phone on top of the sensor), and I use it everyday. The free wordpress hosting offer and .me domain are also impressive. However, I wish they had packed in a pen and a notepad as well, since some of the attendees were really keen on taking down notes and tips being shared by the speakers.
Also part of the welcome kit was a nice-looking badge that bore my name and my blog URL. What took me by surprise though (shock is more apt, actually) is the word BLOGGERATTI written at the bottom of the badge, since that happens to be the name of a 7-year old blogging community that I own, previously on Orkut and now on Facebook.
By the time I had reached, Vinit Goenka, co-convenor of the BJP's IT cell was half-way through his key note address. He shared with us the fact that the BJP's victory in the general elections had a big contribution (apart from the Congress' failures) from social media marketing. I can vouch for that - the number of anti-Congress and pro-Modi Whatsapp and FB viral shares before the elections was overwhelming (and irritating after a point too). Thankfully, he did not get too political, and shared tips on care to be taken before posting anything on the net.
Next up, Amit Agarwal, a famous tech-blogger, columnist, and the chief curator of the IndiBloggers.org directory shared his tips on how to blog, dos and donts in blogging, how to declutter your blog, and the benefits of having a wordpress.org based blog. The plethora of blogging tools and apps that he shared with the listeners was really useful. I began missing a pen and notepad at this point. Thankfully my blogpal Swati had a pen; alas, the agenda flier had only 1 blank side. What he said still rings a bell - 'No matter how elaborate your blog looks and feels, at the end of the day content is king.'
Anshul Tiwari from YouthKiAwaaz.com was next in line, to talk about blog promotion. He shared with us his personal tryst and struggles with keeping his passion for blogging alive - his story of making it big in spite of lack of support from family touched many a heart. He shared with us his website's journey from a humble struggling-for-survival news blog to a popular mouthpiece for the youth, all because of relentless promotion activities. The stories he told must have surely been sources of inspiration for many who want to dream big - irrespective of whether they are bloggers or not. He too dwelt on the importance of content.
Next up was web-designer Sunit Singh of ClearTrip fame. The soft-spoken graduate from the JJ School of Art, and an IIT-Mumbai alumnus has previously worked with Burrp and Yahoo. He was interviewed by video blogger, filmmaker and anchor Lakshmi Rebecca. Lakshmi's story is inspirational by itself - in spite of the fact that video blogging and filmmaking is an expensive hobby, she pursued it with passion, went through years of losses and financial strain, and today manages to make films that garner millions of views. She is well-known for her online talk show 'Chai with Lakshmi' and a series on Youtube known as 'India Ahead.'
Varun Krishnan, editor-in-chief of FoneArena was next on the agenda, to speak on blog monetization. He spoke about how he started a small website offering information on phones while he was still studying, simply because he wanted to offer a useful resource to peers, and how he eventually saw a business opportunity, and made it a reality. He made it known that if your website has useful content, and therefore a lot of traffic, there is a huge opportunity in terms of sponsors and ad revenue.
C.S.Krishna of 'The Unreal Times' (URT) fame came up next to talk about the legal angle surrounding information that is posted on the net. He talked about how URT was born out of sheer journalistic boredom and how it continued due to positive response. He told us about the popularity of the satire genre, and how things go viral. He also revealed that satire can sometimes be a risky business, what with the sword called the IT Act hanging over our heads and the threat of defamation cases always lurking. He claimed that he had been lucky not to have too many problems, mostly because most of the people he had targeted were good sports. He also said that these weren't 'achhe din' for URT, now that the Modi Government is in power and hasn't given them any fodder. Raised eyebrows, anyone? ;)
Post-lunch, Harsh Agarwal, a passionate blogger who manages ShoutMeLoud.com spoe about SEO services. The topic was too technical for a tech-dummy like yours faithfully, so I'll conveniently excuse myself on dwelling too much on this session.
Self-made fashion blogger, model and actor Scherezade Shroff was up next, talking about her fashion blog. As was prophetically declared by fellow-blogger BlogWati, I honestly don't remember too much of what she said. Blame it on the glowing bright face in the dark ambience (read jaw-dropping looks). On a serious note, what struck me most about her talk was her policy of not writing excellent reviews about a product simply because she had gotten a sponsorship, and not writing about a product that you haven't used at all. She dwelt on the important of loyalty and honesty towards your readers and followers, and that definitely struck a chord. Back to a less serious note, many of us were shaken out of our post-lunch sleepy stupor.
Snigdha Manchanda was next, talking about story writing and creative writing. From the moment she started speaking, it sounded like she was narrating a story. Her choice of words, her tone, her sentence framing, the pauses she took - everyone was all ears for her. Her voice - and everyone will agree with me here - was such that even if she had to go up on stage and simply recite a nursery rhyme, no one would have complained. Another interesting thing about her and her blogs is that she is fascinated with tea and various kinds of tea. She showed us an interesting thing about most stories, in that they have a predictable structure. She showed us how to construct a perfect story. Since I love writing short stories, this was perhaps my most favourite topic of the day.
A stand-up comedian, Bhavish Ailani, cracked us up with his punch lines and jokes. Although he has a long way to go, this was probably a good platform to groom his talent and get better.
Managing Director and founder of IndiBlogger, Renie Ravin spoke about the the community and the blogging philosophy on which it firmly stands. It was nice to see him face to face. Maybe if I was a little less of a reserved fellow, I might have liked to go an interact with him personally. For now, maybe I'll just go check his blog.
The event ended with a head-banging session, to the tune of Avenged Sevenfold's 'This Means War'. Sounded a bit like Metallica at first, but glad I got the words. Its now in my playlist.
On our way out, we were given T-Shirts as souvenirs. Strongly aware of my girth's prowess and reach, I asked for a XXL t-shirt. I realised it was tight only when I reached home.
MUST . LOSE . LARD
I hope IndiBlogger gets us more involved in the designing of T-Shirts in the future, or at least invites contributions in terms of inputs or ideas. Many of us would be glad to contribute creatively. It would also be a nice idea to see your members getting involved in the organising of the event, at least in certain areas.
A good event, with good topics, and good speakers.
In today’s day and age, everyone claims to be
cosmopolitan and global citizens. India’s Generation-Next isn’t any different.
We somehow manage to gel in wherever we set foot. Things, however, are a little
different when it comes to our sister nation, Pakistan. It is considered taboo
and outright ridiculous to say that we should have good relations with our
neighbours.
We seem to know a lot about various parts of the
world. How much do we know about our next-door neighbour though? Let’s find
out.
Languages spoken in
Pakistan
Although Urdu (and English) is the official language in Pakistan, close to half the
population speaks Punjabi. Other dominant languages are Pashto, Sindhi and
Balochi.
Brace yourselves
for the other minor languages spoken in Pakistan - Gujarati, Kutchi, Marwari,
Bengali, and even Brij-bhasha.
Religions
More than 90% of
Pakistanis are Muslims, of which 90% are Sunnis. Pakistan also has about 3.5
million Hindus and 3 million Christians. Pakistan is also home to about 20,000
Sikhs and 15,000 Parsis.
Some interesting facts
about Pakistan’s leaders
1) India and
Pakistan were divided on religious lines. However, did you know that the Father
of Pakistan – Mohammed Ali Jinnah – was not a practicing Muslim? A liberal at
heart, he loved his alcohol. He even had a taste for pork, which in Islam is
considered haram (unclean).
Jinnah loved
Mumbai. Jinnah house still exists in the city.
If Jinnah had to
have his way, Pakistan would have been a secular country. He wanted the
constitution to show Pakistan as a secular democracy where everyone would have
the right to profess their own faith.
Today, Pakistan
is an Islamic state. However, it has not fully adopted the Shariah law. It has
a judicial system that is only based on the Shariah.
Coming back to
Jinnah, while he was still in India, he had married a Parsi lady. Jinnah’s
daughter Dina had differences with him over marrying a Parsi man and ended up
severing all ties. Jinnah’s descendants through his daughter Dina continue to
live in India. “Who”, you ask? The Wadia family of ‘Bombay Dyeing’ fame.
2) The song ‘Saare
Jahaan Se Acha’ arouses patriotic fervor in every Indian heart. But do you
know who wrote it?
Poet and
philosopher Mohammed ‘Allama’ Iqbal did. Ironically, he is credited as one of
the founding fathers of Pakistan.
Born to Kashmiri
Pandits (Brahmins of the Sapru clan) who converted to Islam before he was born,
Iqbal was originally a member of the Indian National Congress. Eventually, he
quit the party when he began to feel that Muslims were not getting enough
representation. He went on to join the Muslim League, and was in the forefront
when it came to the idea of having a separate state for Muslims, post
independence.
He never lived
to see independence though. He died in 1938. It is said that towards the end,
he had become disillusioned with the idea of Pakistan.
3) The Pakistani
army is considered to be one of the most secular and progressive organizations
in Pakistan. The General Zia-ul-Haq regime in the 80s, however, was anything
but liberal. In his zeal to stay in power and earn the loyalty of
conservatives, General Zia began a process of rapid Islamization of Pakistan. In
the process, he not only banned alcohol, but also placed restrictions on music,
films, and other forms of entertainment. This was a bad time for artistes in
general. If music in Pakistan survived, it is only because of the underground
music scene that thrived during that period.
Post-partition cross-overs
Partition was
not the only time when people from either side of the border crossed over to
the other side of the fence. Thousands of people have (and still are) crossing
borders, for a wide array of reasons, including persecution, to re-unite with
family, marriage, etc.
Some of the
notable crossovers are:-
1) A. K Hangal– Did you know that actor
A. K. Hangal was in Pakistan
till 1949? An active participant in the Indian freedom struggle, he was lodged
in prison in Karachi
for three years for being a member of the Communist Party. After moving to
Mumbai, he got involved in a theatre group named IPTA, along with legends
Balraj Sahni and Kaifi Azmi (who also had Marxist leanings).
2) Asif Iqbal– Born and brought up in Hyderabad (Andhra
Pradesh), he migrated to Pakistan
in 1961, apparently due to prejudice and lack of opportunities in India. A
technically superb batsman and a useful medium pace bowler, he went on to
captain the Pakistan
cricket team in the late 70s and 80s. Legend has it that when Mohd. Azharuddin
was initially finding it difficult to break into the Indian team in the 1980s,
Sunil Gavaskar turned the tide in his favour with this statement to the
selectors - ‘We do not want another Asif Iqbal’.
3) Moin Akhtar – Famous comedian/TV anchor
Moin Akhtar’s parents migrated from Bombay
to Karachi in
1950. A great mimic, he was fluent in English, Bengali, Sindhi, Punjabi,
Pashto, Gujarati and Urdu. He could also do a great Lakhnavi, South Indian,
Bhojpuri and Hyderabadi accent. What stood out about him was that his jokes
were all very clean. India would have had a great legend to flaunt if only his
parents hadn’t migrated.
4) Alyy Khan -Super talented actor Alyy Khan was born in Karachi. He migrated with his family to Mumbai when he was 9 years old, and that's where he groomed himself to become an actor. Eventually, he fell in love with a Pakistani origin girl, and he had to move out of India just to be able to live with her and the kids. As of today, he shuttles between Dubai, Belfast, and Karachi, where his wife lives. He still considers Aamchi Mumbai his home though.
Some of the best Indo-Pak collaborations
1) Josh – The popular band, consisting of
Rupinder Singh Magon aka ‘Rup’ and Qurram Hussain aka ‘Q’ is very popular, not
just in the two nations, but worldwide.
2) Biddu and Nazia Hassan/Zoheb Hassan –
Nazia and Zohaib were pop music sensations in the London desi music circuit and
in Pakistan. Indian-born music composer Biddu met the London-raised brother-sister
group at a party in London,
and the rest is history. Biddu and Nazia in particular, came up with disco hits
like ‘Aap Jaisa Koi’, ‘Boom Boom’, ‘Disco Deewane’, and many others.
3) Rohan Bopanna and Aisam ul-haq Qureshi
– During their 4-year association (2007-2011), the tennis pair won just one ATP
title. They, however, reached the quarter-final and beyond stages quite a few
times. They broke into the world top-10 rankings a couple of times.
Minority report
Most Pakistanis
from minority communities have found it tough to make it to the mainstream. The
Blasphemy Law is often abused to persecute them. Consequently, a lot of people
from minority communities have migrated to other countries – UK, USA,
Australia, recently thousands of Hindus had fled to India. Nevertheless, there
are a few who have earned their fame. For some it was a struggle, others were
lucky to find themselves amidst liberal and progressive surroundings. Some of
them are mentioned below:-
Rana Bhagwandas - First
Hindu Chief Justice of Pakistan. Interestingly, he was not the first non-Muslim
to occupy that post. Others like A.R. Cornelius and Dorab Patel had held the
post in the past.
Bohemia (real name Roger David) - Punjabi rap artist and music producer.
Anil Dalpat - Pakistani
cricketer during the late 80s. He played as a wicketkeeper.
Danesh Kaneria -
Legspinner. Incidentally, a cousin of Anil Dalpat.
Jamshed Mehta - First
Mayor of Karachi
J. M. Mandal - Pakistan's
first law minister. Eventually migrated to India, but was reduced to
insignificance.
Behram Dinshaw - Sportsman
(boating)
Dr. Dennis Isaac - Writer
Deepak Perwani - A very
popular fashion designer, well known even internationally.
Sunita Marshall -
Supermodel
Louis 'Gumby' Pinto -
Musician, plays as a drummer for the band 'Noori'
Salman Albert – Another
famous drummer
Wallis Mathias - First
Christian cricketer to play for Pakistan.
Antao D'Souza - Test
cricketer during the 60s.
Sohail Fazal - Cricketer
Zoe and Rachel Viccaji -
The Viccaji sisters are singers and theatre personalities
Robin Ghosh - Famous actor
and many others.
Pakistani Goans!
Did you know
that Pakistan, particularly the port city of Karachi, has a sizeable number of
people of Goan origin. Thousands of Goans had migrated to the port city of Karachi
way back in 1820, for better prospects. Many others were sailors, who happened
to be at the Karachi port (with their families) in August 1947 and decided to
stay back. Their descendants call themselves 'Karachi Goankars', speak Konkani,
have their own version of an annual Goa Day celebration and a carnival too. By
the way, they also love their feni. So don't be surprised if you find a Pakistani
Gonsalves or D'Mello or Pinto.
It's not hard to
find anti-India propoganda in Pakistan. It's all over and sometimes
deep-rooted. News channels regularly talk about how India keeps 'threatening'
Pakistan. Some so-called 'thinkers' come up with bizarre conspiracy theories
about India and her 'motivations' (look up Zaid Hamid). India has her own share
of crazies and ultra-jingoists who keep spewing venom about Pakistan.
But not everyone
is cynical. There are a few intellectuals in Pakistan who vouch for good
relations with India, and heavily criticize India-haters. They vehemently
defend India on television debates. When Hassan Nisar, for example, speaks, his
pro-India stance makes it hard to believe that he's a Pakistani. Other pro-Indian intellectuals include Najam Sethi, Ansar Burney, Wajahat Khan, and others.
Conclusion
It might sound
clichéd, but we need to maintain relations with Pakistan. We are fortunate that
Pakistan is not an all-out military state or a nation ruled by outright
fundamentalists. Pakistan is the biggest victim of terrorism in the world. It
is the best interests of India and the whole of South East Asia that Pakistan
remains a democracy. Politics of hatred will only give leverage to radicals,
and can ruin whatever sense of peace and stability we have managed to hold onto
at the moment. Although we have many differences, regular engagement is the
only way to keep things moving. Also, remember that the ordinary people on both
sides actually have no interest in conflict. Many actually want to interact
with the other side.
If you don’t
agree, maybe you should watch this video:-
We Indians love our Cricket. The idea of two stick wielding gentlemen hitting a ball to all parts of the ground with eleven other men running behind it thrills us. Some of us will religiously follow every cricket match, even the insignificant ones. It’s a wonder why Hockey is our national sport then, it clearly isn’t anymore. Yet, once every four years, when the FIFA World Cup comes calling, we all want to be known as the greatest football expert ever.
Some of us though, find it hard to make meaningful conversation when the talk revolves around football. All we can do is stare into oblivion, or maybe make do with a smile and a generous dosage of affirmative nods.
So if you’re one of those who tried oh-so-hard to keep up with the football frenzy, and yet learnt nothing from the experience, here are some things you can CLAIM to have learnt about football after the FIFA World Cup 2014:-
The World Cup is truly a WORLD event – With more than 200 countries playing football, the FIFA World Cup truly is a world event. So what if 35% of the world’s population (read: China and India) don’t get to play at the finals? Our claim to fame are the Olympics (China) and the Cricket World Cup (India, nevermind that England and her former colonies are the only ones who play the sport)
Well ‘rounded’ tournament – The FIFA World Cup has many stages – the Group stage (eight groups with four teams each), the round of 16 (pre-quarter finals), the quarter-finals, semi-finals and the final. How many teams do we have at the Cricket World Cup?
Footballers take inspiration from other sports – Apart from a few slightly complicated rules, (the offside rule for example) football is a simple sport that involves kicking a ball into your opponents’ goal post. Hence, footballers consider it their duty to make the sport more appealing, by including aspects of other sports. Diving, for example (Robben, Cristiano Ronaldo, Welbeck), is an art that very few can perfect. Wrestling is another sport that is increasingly gaining popularity among footballers. Honduras took the term ‘fighting for a win’ too seriously. Too bad Portugal crashed out at the group stages, we hardly got to see Pepe in action.
What goes up will come down, and how – Spain was the perfect example of a meteoric rise followed by an abrupt thud. The defending champions were the first team to crash out of the World Cup. And it wasn’t pretty.
Global Team – Switzerland was the perfect example of a global team, with immigrants constituting almost 80% of the squad. Not surprisingly, USA came a close second in this aspect.
If you can’t beat em, bite em – Uruguay’s Luis Suarez showed us that he was good not just with his feet, but also with his teeth. In doing so, the ex-Liverpool forward he made us realise that not all the knowledge we received at school was accurate. The food chain, for instance, should have actually looked like this.
Non-football attraction – Some teams made more news for their female fans than for their football - Mexico, Ecuador, Belgium, Algeria and South Korea to mention a few. Turkey, Sweden and the Czech Republic were missed.
No cup for one-man teams – Brazil’s show at the World Cup proved that football is a ‘team’ game. With Neymar having to leave the tournament mid-way with a back injury, Brazil suddenly lost their magic. Although they reached the semi-final, their journey was hardly convincing. Their last two matches showed their vulnerability. Messi managed to take Argentina to the final, but the writing was already on the wall. Germany, the real ‘team’, were deserving champions. Building a team around one player is not a good idea after all.
How to celebrate goals – Columbia showed the world how to celebrate goals. Every goal had a unique dance move to go with it.
Managers can be fun to watch too – Those who watched Mexican coach Miguel Herrera in action will vouch for this. This guy was all over the place during Mexico’s games.
I was just about to volley the ball past the Brazilian goalkeeper when I was shaken out of my dream by the sound of my new phone ringing. It was Sahil calling. I took the call and was greeted by a really shrill "You awake?".
"Whatever happened to good morning man?", I said, stifling a yawn and failing miserably.
"It's 6 am dude! Are you ready?" His voice suggested he was frantic rather than excited. The voice was loud and crystal clear. "We've got to leave in half an hour".
"Gimme about fifteen minutes", I said half-heartedly and disconnected the call. But I stuck to my word and was in front of his gate in fifteen minutes flat.
"That awas quick! Sheesh! Didn't you have a bath?"
"Took just 2 minutes", I shrugged, matter-of-factly, "I'm clean".
"Where's your camera?", he asked, yanking out his own gadget, just to show off I assumed.
"Nah. Won't be needing that".
"You kiddin me? We're going on a nature trail for heaven's sakes!" Sahil was visibly annoyed.
"I know", I retorted. "I have all I need right here in my pocket". Saying that I pulled out my brand new phone and flashed it right in his face.
"A phone?", he sniggered, following it up with a loud burst of laughter. "Some lazy buffoon you are. I'm the one who's gonna end up with all the best pictures today".
"We'll see", I said, my confidence not wavering a bit.
"New phone huh? Lemme see."
I placed it in his hand.
"What is this? Some kinda rock?"
I smiled. "You can say that".
"How much did you get it for? Twenty grand?"
"Less than that my friend."
"Then, my friend, you have a really cheap phone, and you can't expect a cheap phone to do much except save you some money."
"You're sadly mistaken Sahil. This, my friend, is a smartphone with super powers. It's my brand newASUS ZENFONE 5. And it's aSUPERPHONE."
"Oh, I see", he replied nonchalantly. "And what are its features?"
"You'll know, in time."
We reached the spot where the forest began, in just under a hour. The weather was cloudy, but we were hoping it wouldn't rain, just for the sake of our gadgets. Sahil pulled out his 16 megapixel digicam and clicked a selfie of both of us together. The picture was good, but the screen was just about 4.5 inches long. I knew that what his camera could do well, my Zenfone 5 could do better. So I pulled out my phone and took a selfie in the same pose. The picture was better, with natural colours, in spite of the camera being only an 8 megapixel one. Plus, the screen being bigger at 5 inches, we could see the image better. The results shocked Sahil.
"PixelMaster technology", I answered him before he could pose a question. "The rear camera is loaded with 8 megapixel resolution, a Sony BSI sensor, a 5-element lens, and largan optics. The focus gets locked in no time. It can even take shots with shallow depth field. It also has software-based image stabilisation, by the way, which makes all pictures I click with this phone virtually blur-free."
"You just got a lucky click", he dismissed my explanation. I only smiled.
We walked ahead, slowly getting deeper into the forest. We were having a great time, putting our clicking skills to the test and indulging in healthy competition. Somewhere along the way though, where the tree cover was thicker, we encountered bad light.
"What happened? Not gonna put your Superphone to the test? Too dark eh?", he chided me.
"Why not?", I said, whipping out my phone and getting a dozen pictures clicked. The results were outstanding, and Sahil was left astounded.
"The low-light mode works really well dude. Does it work in absolute darkness as well?", Sahil was curious to know.
"Sure does. Even in absolute darkness, you'll get a fairly bright picture."
"What other modes does it have?"
Sensing that I was soon getting a non-believer on board, I went in for the kill, "It has a beautification mode, Panorama mode, an HDR mode, a time rewind mode, a smart remove mode, a smile detection mode, and my favourite, a GIF animator."
"A gif animator too?", he was excited, "that's so cool."
I nodded.
"Tell me more", he demanded.
"Well, it works on an Intel Z2560 Atom chipset, 1.6 GHz dual-core, and 2 GB RAM. The Atom chipset helps it run more than 10 applications at a time, smoothly. All this, without the phone heating up."
"Amazing."
Our trip was pretty long. After 5-6 hours in the forest, we headed back homewards in our jeep. We had many stopovers, sometimes for food, for tea, and also for pictures. By But along the way, Sahil's camera conked off, having run out of battery. My phone, however, was up and running.
"The battery is amazing too?", his jaw dropped.
"Yup, With a 2,110 mAh battery, you can keep the phone running for practically the whole day."
"Dude, this sure is a masterpiece." He was already floored.
"Nope", I interrupted him."It's aSUPERPHONE".
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Today, I present to you the first post in a brand new series. It is aptly titled 'GALAT PICCHAR'. 'Galat' in Hindi means 'Wrong'and'Picchar'is the Desi word for 'Picture' or a movie. So no prizes for guessing what 'Galat Picchar' means. Believe what you read here at your own risk.
Most Desis are film buffs. We know our 'Hum Aapke Hain Kauns' and 'RaOnes' 'DDLJs' by heart. But with almost half the population being born in the 90s, it would be a tad unfair for to expect everyone to have watched or even have heard about movies of the 70s, even if they were classics. Hence, it becomes a duty on the part of us veterans pre-1990ers to bring these wonderful movies to the poor novices. Today, I proudly give you the most accurate synopsis of the evergreen classic...*drumroll*...SHOLAY.
The movie actually shuttles between real time and flashback sequences. Because I'm too lazy to type For simplicity in narration, I will present the story to you in proper chronological order. For easy comprehension, I am also attaching images, wherever necessary.
Most fans of the movie will argue that Sholay is an action-packed tale of unconditional friendship, loyalty and the ultimate revenge saga. However, it is also the story of a power-struggle between a 'connoisseur of art' dacoit and a village Thakur with a strange obsession with male hands.
The actual story begins with the Thakur (who by the way also happens to be a former cop) hunting down a hairy Daaku - Gabbar Singh. At the very beginning of the sordid tale, we are greeted by the sight of the wicked Thakur harassing strangulating Gabbar.
To add insult to injury, Thakur gets Gabbar imprisoned and sentenced for unlawful assembly and for promoting obscenity (read: enjoying ganda naach gaana with his merry men). What's more, Thakur chose to put only Gabbar behind bars, and not his 'unlawful assembly' or the vulgar dance troupe. Some personal vendetta!
Anyway, before he is led to prison, Gabbar vows revenge against Thakur for his 'Misbehaviour', 'Suppression of Art & Creativity' and 'Moral Policing'. In other words, he vows revenge on Thakur's 'Dhoblegiri'.
Soon enough, Gabbar escapes from jail. He blocks Thakur's newly-acquired android phone using the IMEI number.
His ego badly hurt, Thakur sets out to put Gabbar in his place. He pays no heed to Ramlal's prophetic words. Ouch! That was soon gonna cost both of them dearly.
Ramlal should have been a little more aggressive with his convincing. It was in his own best interests after all. Alas, very soon he was going to have to face the consequences of his lethargy...for the rest of his life.
Meanwhile, Thakur acts like a dhedh-shaana, and confronts Gabbar, in his own lair. He also falsely claims that Gabbar has stolen his handsfree device. Gabbar responds with an amazing display of black humour, and sends him back home....hands-free.
Not one to be done in so easily, and also because he was beginning to enjoy this game of 'badla-badla', Thakur hatches a plan to get back at Gabbar. He sends for Inspector Bajrang Pandey.
The original plan was to book Inspector Pandey's railway ticket directly to the village station. However, a steep hike in rail fares makes Thakur resort to a 'super-value-saver' plan of booking the rail ticket for only half the distance, and then forcing Pandey to cover the remaining distance on 'horsepower'. Here's recorded footage:-
Inspector Bajrang Pandey is clearly not amused with Thakur's kanjoosi austerity measures. He makes known his feelings.
Quickly smarting from his faux pas, the Inspector seeks to know why he was called. The answer he gets makes him realise that his reservations about Thakur's orientation had been well-founded all along.
Jai and Veeru. Petty criminals. And yet, the quintessential Bollywood 'good-at-heart' heroes. When they're not burgling someone's house, these 'friends' move around aimlessly, painting towns pink with their antics. Check out their vintage Spicegirls-esque dance moves.
They're always focussing on giving 'stiff' competition to other criminal brothers.
Thakur stalks them around town. When he finally manages to grab their attention, he spills the beans.
Thakur and his raging hormones...sheesh!
Anyway, he tells Jai and Veeru about his plan to capture Gabbar - ALIVE. In true-blue Indian corporate style, he promises them ample growth opportunities, job satisfaction, perks, free transport, work-life balance and salaries as per industry standards. And they fall for it! Haha! Suckers!
As expected, they arrive at the village taxi stand...at their own expenses.
With no taxi in sight to take them to Thakur's 'mansion', they decide to travel cattle-class.
They hire Basanti's tonga. Basanti is the village chatter-box. Her hobbies include exercising her vocal chords for no rhyme or reason and boring people to death. Her horse's name is Dhanno. Both seem to have a bad reputation, because apparently, everyone in the village had taken a ride.
For reasons more suited to primates, Veeru has the hots for Basanti. He engages in a very enriching one-way conversation with her. Jai is not amused with the new development. 'Maybe he's looking at the prospect of free transport facilities', he thinks. Insecurity creeps in.
Finally reaching Thakur's office after an extremely torturous one-way chat session in the tonga, Jai and Veeru have a formal induction. They quickly undergo 'on-the-job' training. They also get to hear a gazillion horror stories from Ramlal about Thakur giving crap.
Their personal lives, however, are not sailing smoothly. Veeru is slowly but surely drifting away from Jai and spending more time with motor-mouth Basanti.
Finally sensing that his relationship with Veeru is as good as over, Jai begins to seek whiter greener pastures. He spots Thakur's always-in-white widowed Bahu, Radha.
In a matter of hours, the romantic tension that was just a spark in the morning had soon turned into a forest fire. The whole village could tell that Jai was smitten.
It wasn't hard to guess. It was all so obvious.
Soon, Jai can't handle his desperation. He wants to take this relationship with Radha to a different level. With Veeru having smoothly sailed through the beginner's level with Basanti, Jai feels he needs to act fast. He decides it is best to skip the 'intermediate' level and take his relationship directly to the 'expert' level without wasting time.
One day, Gabbar sends three of his collection agents, led by Kaalia, to Walmart the village to fetch his gang's monthly ration. Ramlal, who also doubles up as the village watch-tower manager, sees them coming and quickly warns the villagers. All of a sudden, the gaanv-waaley swing into action and act busy. They ignore the collection agents' demands. Having exhausted all their energy, the trio turn back. Jai and Veeru (who till then are hiding like snipers and smoking their beedis) decide to play target practice with them as they gallop away, just for kicks.
Of course, Gabbar is left fuming at his collection agents' performance. Since it was performance appraisal time, he decides to cut his wage costs by gunning them down laying them off (without severance package, gratuity and other benefits). Of course, in Indian Corporate style, he pretends to take his HR Manager's advice before taking the step.
Wasting no time, Gabbar immediately decides to organise a recruitment drive in the village to fill the three vacant positions in his gang. He tells his HR Manager to choose a 'holiday' for the same, so that candidates wouldn't have to compromise on their current work commitments to make themselves available for the interviews. But Samba doesn't hear Gabbar too well (what do you expect when he's always seated so high, out of the audibility radius), and chooses HOLI-day for the recruitment drive.
But Indians love their HOLI-day. After all, we men can't just let a one-day no-holds-barred license to get wicked naughty with the ladies slip out of our hands so easily, can we? So the villagers give Gabbar's interview calls a miss.
This incenses Gabbar so much that he comes to the village himself, with a more aggressive approach. There, he bumps into Jai and Veeru. Sensing an opportunity to hire skilled labour for cheap, he gives them job offers that he doesn't want them to refuse. But to his utter disappointment, they say no thank you. After all, girlfriend izzat naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai!
Disappointed, Gabbar goes to an open-air dance bar to drink his sorrows away, and to enjoy a DANCE performance.
But spoilsports that they are, Jai and Veeru show up and spoil the fun with sutli bombs and Diwali rockets. Nevertheless, poetic justice is done, when a sutli bomb bursts in Jai's hand.
Having had their fill of cheap thrills, Jai and Veeru get back to the village. Radha wastes no time in tending to Jai's injured thumb nail. Seeing the PDA, Veeru suddenly realises that he has a lot of catching up to do. He promptly resorts to Bollywood's fool-proof "Sing A Song To Ding-Dong" formula to get a promotion from motor-mouth Basanti.
After getting Basanti on board (WTF! How??), Veeru seeks Jai's help to convince Basanti's Mausi to agree to their alliance. Jai does the needful.
The wedding would eventually take place a few months later, much after the end of this movie. Didn't end too well though. The following was the last available footage of Veeru, taken a couple of days after the wedding.
Meanwhile, Gabbar is still sulking about the massive 'iggy' his recruitment drive has elicited. He's in urgent need of procurement officers. So he decides to adopt an even more aggressive approach to hiring, an approach that would make even multi-level marketing guys gawk in admiration.
This is Imam Saheb. He's old and blind (awww). He constitutes the minority quota that is so typical of Bollywood movies. He's an absolute gem of a person. If he was Christian, his name would've probably been Michael, and he'd have been the jolly good owner of a beer-bar.
This is Ahmed. He is Imam Saheb's young son. We already know he is Muslim because of his name and because we know who his father is. But the costume designer still wants to be sure that we idiots don't get confused. So here is how Ahmed is made to look 24x7, 365 days a year.
One of these guys' fate is sealed (read: one of them is about to die) because all Muslims/Christians/Parsis/Sardarjis in a Bollywood movie are brave and sacrificing in nature.
So yes, Gabbar kills Ahmed because he refuses to stifle his career prospects by joining Gabbar's sorry bunch of donkey horse-riding losers.
When the body is sent back to the village, everyone except Imam Sahab is devastated. Why? Because Imam Saheb is from the minority, stupid. We minority peeps groom our kids to become brave and honourable, and we raise them to sacrifice their lives for honour and for the nation. Geddit suckers? Lolz.
Oh, wait, lest you miss an evergreen classic moment, here it is.
Why does he kidnap her? Just because he wants to see her dance. Yeah, weirdass stuff.
Veeru finally realises that matters are serious (that's what girls do to you, they make you serious about everything), and sets off on a rescue mission. Alas, he gets caught in Gabbar's trap, because Ramesh and Suresh had made his patloon ek bilaang choti.
Gabbar forces Basanti to dance if she wants a Koffee with Karan gift hamper her lover to live. She obliges and floors everyone with her never-seen-before moves.
While Gabbar and his merry men lay on the floor clutching their bellies and laughing themselves half-dead, Jai arrives on the scene and shoots down a dozen helpless daakus. He also frees Veeru and Basanti, and they all try to run for their lives. A gun battle ensues, in which Jai gets fatally wounded. As he lay dying, he leaves behind a legacy for his dear friend Veeru.
Radha cries bitterly after Jai's death. But Veeru goes metal-thrashing mad. Undoubtedly, Jai was more than a talented harmonica player for him. He goes back to Gabbar's lair and slays all of his men, 'chun-chunke'.
In the end, he grabs Gabbar by the throat and is about to choke him to death when spoil-sport Thakur arrives at the scene to get a taste of the action. He commands Veeru to leave Gabbar to him. Veeru laughs hysterically as he leaves the scene, but you can't blame him for that.
Here's Thakur getting ready for the fight.
The following fight is a no disqualification, no count-out, no-holds-barred match-up. In the left corner, from places unknown, weighing in at 330 lbs, we have Gabbar Singh. And in the right corner, from Ramgadh village mansion, weighing in at 260 lbs, here is Thakur.
Gabbar starts off on the wrong foot. He tries to break the ice by making a risque comment.
Those would be Gabbar's last words. His sense of humour doesn't go down too well with Thakur, a Taekwondo black-belt as we can see from the following clipping. All it takes is a well-timed and well-directed drop kick from Thakur to kill Gabbar. If India had a few more talented prodigies like him, our crime rates would've been incredibly low.
And from there on, everyone lived happily ever after.
Except for Ramlal of course.
The End.
SHOLAY is and always has been one of my all-time favourite movies. For one, it has Amitabh Bachchan in it. Secondly, it had the right amount of melodrama in it - not too much. It is one the best 'Revenge' dramas and friendship stories every essayed. Jai's dying scene still brings tears to my eyes...sometimes. This post is the result of inspiration I got from reading another blog. Tons of applause for IMAANSHEIKH.
Disclaimer: This post does not claim ownership of any of the pictures displayed unless stated otherwise. We do not intend or attempt to offend anyone with this post. It is purely for tongue-in-cheek entertainment and in jest. Some images used in this website are taken from the web and are therefore believed to be in the public domain. If any images posted here are in violation of copyright law, please contact us and we will gladly remove the images immediately. Cheers
