ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE

In today’s day and age, everyone claims to be cosmopolitan and global citizens. India’s Generation-Next isn’t any different. We somehow manage to gel in wherever we set foot. Things, however, are a little different when it comes to our sister nation, Pakistan. It is considered taboo and outright ridiculous to say that we should have good relations with our neighbours.

We seem to know a lot about various parts of the world. How much do we know about our next-door neighbour though? Let’s find out.

Languages spoken in Pakistan

Although Urdu (and English) is the official language in Pakistan, close to half the population speaks Punjabi. Other dominant languages are Pashto, Sindhi and Balochi.

Brace yourselves for the other minor languages spoken in Pakistan - Gujarati, Kutchi, Marwari, Bengali, and even Brij-bhasha.

Religions

More than 90% of Pakistanis are Muslims, of which 90% are Sunnis. Pakistan also has about 3.5 million Hindus and 3 million Christians. Pakistan is also home to about 20,000 Sikhs and 15,000 Parsis.

Some interesting facts about Pakistan’s leaders

1) India and Pakistan were divided on religious lines. However, did you know that the Father of Pakistan – Mohammed Ali Jinnah – was not a practicing Muslim? A liberal at heart, he loved his alcohol. He even had a taste for pork, which in Islam is considered haram (unclean).

Jinnah loved Mumbai. Jinnah house still exists in the city.

If Jinnah had to have his way, Pakistan would have been a secular country. He wanted the constitution to show Pakistan as a secular democracy where everyone would have the right to profess their own faith.

Today, Pakistan is an Islamic state. However, it has not fully adopted the Shariah law. It has a judicial system that is only based on the Shariah.

Coming back to Jinnah, while he was still in India, he had married a Parsi lady. Jinnah’s daughter Dina had differences with him over marrying a Parsi man and ended up severing all ties. Jinnah’s descendants through his daughter Dina continue to live in India. “Who”, you ask? The Wadia family of ‘Bombay Dyeing’ fame.

2) The song ‘Saare Jahaan Se Acha’ arouses patriotic fervor in every Indian heart. But do you know who wrote it?

Poet and philosopher Mohammed ‘Allama’ Iqbal did. Ironically, he is credited as one of the founding fathers of Pakistan.

Born to Kashmiri Pandits (Brahmins of the Sapru clan) who converted to Islam before he was born, Iqbal was originally a member of the Indian National Congress. Eventually, he quit the party when he began to feel that Muslims were not getting enough representation. He went on to join the Muslim League, and was in the forefront when it came to the idea of having a separate state for Muslims, post independence.

He never lived to see independence though. He died in 1938. It is said that towards the end, he had become disillusioned with the idea of Pakistan.

3) The Pakistani army is considered to be one of the most secular and progressive organizations in Pakistan. The General Zia-ul-Haq regime in the 80s, however, was anything but liberal. In his zeal to stay in power and earn the loyalty of conservatives, General Zia began a process of rapid Islamization of Pakistan. In the process, he not only banned alcohol, but also placed restrictions on music, films, and other forms of entertainment. This was a bad time for artistes in general. If music in Pakistan survived, it is only because of the underground music scene that thrived during that period.

Post-partition cross-overs

Partition was not the only time when people from either side of the border crossed over to the other side of the fence. Thousands of people have (and still are) crossing borders, for a wide array of reasons, including persecution, to re-unite with family, marriage, etc.

Some of the notable crossovers are:-

1) A. K Hangal – Did you know that actor A. K. Hangal was in Pakistan till 1949? An active participant in the Indian freedom struggle, he was lodged in prison in Karachi for three years for being a member of the Communist Party. After moving to Mumbai, he got involved in a theatre group named IPTA, along with legends Balraj Sahni and Kaifi Azmi (who also had Marxist leanings).

2) Asif Iqbal – Born and brought up in Hyderabad (Andhra Pradesh), he migrated to Pakistan in 1961, apparently due to prejudice and lack of opportunities in India. A technically superb batsman and a useful medium pace bowler, he went on to captain the Pakistan cricket team in the late 70s and 80s. Legend has it that when Mohd. Azharuddin was initially finding it difficult to break into the Indian team in the 1980s, Sunil Gavaskar turned the tide in his favour with this statement to the selectors - ‘We do not want another Asif Iqbal’.

3) Moin Akhtar – Famous comedian/TV anchor Moin Akhtar’s parents migrated from Bombay to Karachi in 1950. A great mimic, he was fluent in English, Bengali, Sindhi, Punjabi, Pashto, Gujarati and Urdu. He could also do a great Lakhnavi, South Indian, Bhojpuri and Hyderabadi accent. What stood out about him was that his jokes were all very clean. India would have had a great legend to flaunt if only his parents hadn’t migrated.

4) Alyy Khan - Super talented actor Alyy Khan was born in Karachi. He migrated with his family to Mumbai when he was 9 years old, and that's where he groomed himself to become an actor. Eventually, he fell in love with a Pakistani origin girl, and he had to move out of India just to be able to live with her and the kids. As of today, he shuttles between Dubai, Belfast, and Karachi, where his wife lives. He still considers Aamchi Mumbai his home though.

Some of the best Indo-Pak collaborations

1) Josh – The popular band, consisting of Rupinder Singh Magon aka ‘Rup’ and Qurram Hussain aka ‘Q’ is very popular, not just in the two nations, but worldwide.

2) Biddu and Nazia Hassan/Zoheb Hassan – Nazia and Zohaib were pop music sensations in the London desi music circuit and in Pakistan. Indian-born music composer Biddu met the London-raised brother-sister group at a party in London, and the rest is history. Biddu and Nazia in particular, came up with disco hits like ‘Aap Jaisa Koi’, ‘Boom Boom’, ‘Disco Deewane’, and many others.

3) Rohan Bopanna and Aisam ul-haq Qureshi – During their 4-year association (2007-2011), the tennis pair won just one ATP title. They, however, reached the quarter-final and beyond stages quite a few times. They broke into the world top-10 rankings a couple of times.

Minority report

Most Pakistanis from minority communities have found it tough to make it to the mainstream. The Blasphemy Law is often abused to persecute them. Consequently, a lot of people from minority communities have migrated to other countries – UK, USA, Australia, recently thousands of Hindus had fled to India. Nevertheless, there are a few who have earned their fame. For some it was a struggle, others were lucky to find themselves amidst liberal and progressive surroundings. Some of them are mentioned below:-

Rana Bhagwandas - First Hindu Chief Justice of Pakistan. Interestingly, he was not the first non-Muslim to occupy that post. Others like A.R. Cornelius and Dorab Patel had held the post in the past.

Bohemia (real name Roger David) - Punjabi rap artist and music producer.

Anil Dalpat - Pakistani cricketer during the late 80s. He played as a wicketkeeper.

Danesh Kaneria - Legspinner. Incidentally, a cousin of Anil Dalpat.

Jamshed Mehta - First Mayor of Karachi

J. M. Mandal - Pakistan's first law minister. Eventually migrated to India, but was reduced to insignificance.

Behram Dinshaw - Sportsman (boating)

Dr. Dennis Isaac - Writer

Deepak Perwani - A very popular fashion designer, well known even internationally.

Sunita Marshall - Supermodel

Louis 'Gumby' Pinto - Musician, plays as a drummer for the band 'Noori'

Salman Albert – Another famous drummer

Wallis Mathias - First Christian cricketer to play for Pakistan.

Antao D'Souza - Test cricketer during the 60s.

Sohail Fazal - Cricketer

Zoe and Rachel Viccaji - The Viccaji sisters are singers and theatre personalities

Robin Ghosh - Famous actor

and many others.

Pakistani Goans!

Did you know that Pakistan, particularly the port city of Karachi, has a sizeable number of people of Goan origin. Thousands of Goans had migrated to the port city of Karachi way back in 1820, for better prospects. Many others were sailors, who happened to be at the Karachi port (with their families) in August 1947 and decided to stay back. Their descendants call themselves 'Karachi Goankars', speak Konkani, have their own version of an annual Goa Day celebration and a carnival too. By the way, they also love their feni. So don't be surprised if you find a Pakistani Gonsalves or D'Mello or Pinto.

Their website is - http://www.goansofpakistan.org/

Friends of India

It's not hard to find anti-India propoganda in Pakistan. It's all over and sometimes deep-rooted. News channels regularly talk about how India keeps 'threatening' Pakistan. Some so-called 'thinkers' come up with bizarre conspiracy theories about India and her 'motivations' (look up Zaid Hamid). India has her own share of crazies and ultra-jingoists who keep spewing venom about Pakistan.

But not everyone is cynical. There are a few intellectuals in Pakistan who vouch for good relations with India, and heavily criticize India-haters. They vehemently defend India on television debates. When Hassan Nisar, for example, speaks, his pro-India stance makes it hard to believe that he's a Pakistani. Other pro-Indian intellectuals include Najam Sethi, Ansar Burney, Wajahat Khan, and others.

Conclusion

It might sound clichéd, but we need to maintain relations with Pakistan. We are fortunate that Pakistan is not an all-out military state or a nation ruled by outright fundamentalists. Pakistan is the biggest victim of terrorism in the world. It is the best interests of India and the whole of South East Asia that Pakistan remains a democracy. Politics of hatred will only give leverage to radicals, and can ruin whatever sense of peace and stability we have managed to hold onto at the moment. Although we have many differences, regular engagement is the only way to keep things moving. Also, remember that the ordinary people on both sides actually have no interest in conflict. Many actually want to interact with the other side.

If you don’t agree, maybe you should watch this video:-

Cheers

TEN THINGS WE LEARNT FROM FIFA WORLD CUP 2014

We Indians love our Cricket. The idea of two stick wielding gentlemen hitting a ball to all parts of the ground with eleven other men running behind it thrills us. Some of us will religiously follow every cricket match, even the insignificant ones. It’s a wonder why Hockey is our national sport then, it clearly isn’t anymore. Yet, once every four years, when the FIFA World Cup comes calling, we all want to be known as the greatest football expert ever.

Some of us though, find it hard to make meaningful conversation when the talk revolves around football. All we can do is stare into oblivion, or maybe make do with a smile and a generous dosage of affirmative nods.

So if you’re one of those who tried oh-so-hard to keep up with the football frenzy, and yet learnt nothing from the experience, here are some things you can CLAIM to have learnt about football after the FIFA World Cup 2014:-

1. The World Cup is truly a WORLD event – With more than 200 countries playing football, the FIFA World Cup truly is a world event. So what if 35% of the world’s population (read: China and India) don’t get to play at the finals? Our claim to fame are the Olympics (China) and the Cricket World Cup (India, nevermind that England and her former colonies are the only ones who play the sport)
2. Well ‘rounded’ tournament – The FIFA World Cup has many stages – the Group stage (eight groups with four teams each), the round of 16 (pre-quarter finals), the quarter-finals, semi-finals and the final. How many teams do we have at the Cricket World Cup?
3. Footballers take inspiration from other sports – Apart from a few slightly complicated rules, (the offside rule for example) football is a simple sport that involves kicking a ball into your opponents’ goal post. Hence, footballers consider it their duty to make the sport more appealing, by including aspects of other sports. Diving, for example (Robben, Cristiano Ronaldo, Welbeck), is an art that very few can perfect. Wrestling is another sport that is increasingly gaining popularity among footballers. Honduras took the term ‘fighting for a win’ too seriously. Too bad Portugal crashed out at the group stages, we hardly got to see Pepe in action.
   
4. What goes up will come down, and how – Spain was the perfect example of a meteoric rise followed by an abrupt thud. The defending champions were the first team to crash out of the World Cup. And it wasn’t pretty.
5. Global Team – Switzerland was the perfect example of a global team, with immigrants constituting almost 80% of the squad. Not surprisingly, USA came a close second in this aspect.
6. If you can’t beat em, bite em – Uruguay’s Luis Suarez showed us that he was good not just with his feet, but also with his teeth. In doing so, the ex-Liverpool forward he made us realise that not all the knowledge we received at school was accurate. The food chain, for instance, should have actually looked like this.
   
7. Non-football attraction – Some teams made more news for their female fans than for their football - Mexico, Ecuador, Belgium, Algeria and South Korea to mention a few. Turkey, Sweden and the Czech Republic were missed.
   
8. No cup for one-man teams – Brazil’s show at the World Cup proved that football is a ‘team’ game. With Neymar having to leave the tournament mid-way with a back injury, Brazil suddenly lost their magic. Although they reached the semi-final, their journey was hardly convincing. Their last two matches showed their vulnerability. Messi managed to take Argentina to the final, but the writing was already on the wall. Germany, the real ‘team’, were deserving champions. Building a team around one player is not a good idea after all.
9. How to celebrate goals – Columbia showed the world how to celebrate goals. Every goal had a unique dance move to go with it.
   
10. Managers can be fun to watch too – Those who watched Mexican coach Miguel Herrera in action will vouch for this. This guy was all over the place during Mexico’s games.
    

Images courtesy: www.wpmedia.o.canada.com, www.express.co.uk, www.epa.gov, www.ibtimes.co.uk

SUPERPHONE - THE INCREDIBLE ZENFONE 5

I was just about to volley the ball past the Brazilian goalkeeper when I was shaken out of my dream by the sound of my new phone ringing. It was Sahil calling. I took the call and was greeted by a really shrill "You awake?".

"Whatever happened to good morning man?", I said, stifling a yawn and failing miserably.

"It's 6 am dude! Are you ready?" His voice suggested he was frantic rather than excited. The voice was loud and crystal clear. "We've got to leave in half an hour".

"Gimme about fifteen minutes", I said half-heartedly and disconnected the call. But I stuck to my word and was in front of his gate in fifteen minutes flat.

"That awas quick! Sheesh! Didn't you have a bath?"

"Took just 2 minutes", I shrugged, matter-of-factly, "I'm clean".

"Where's your camera?", he asked, yanking out his own gadget, just to show off I assumed.

"Nah. Won't be needing that".

"You kiddin me? We're going on a nature trail for heaven's sakes!" Sahil was visibly annoyed.

"I know", I retorted. "I have all I need right here in my pocket". Saying that I pulled out my brand new phone and flashed it right in his face.

"A phone?", he sniggered, following it up with a loud burst of laughter. "Some lazy buffoon you are. I'm the one who's gonna end up with all the best pictures today".

"We'll see", I said, my confidence not wavering a bit.

"New phone huh? Lemme see."

I placed it in his hand.

"What is this? Some kinda rock?"

I smiled. "You can say that".

"How much did you get it for? Twenty grand?"

"Less than that my friend."

"Then, my friend, you have a really cheap phone, and you can't expect a cheap phone to do much except save you some money."

"You're sadly mistaken Sahil. This, my friend, is a smartphone with super powers. It's my brand new ASUS ZENFONE 5. And it's a SUPERPHONE."

"Oh, I see", he replied nonchalantly. "And what are its features?"

"You'll know, in time."

We reached the spot where the forest began, in just under a hour. The weather was cloudy, but we were hoping it wouldn't rain, just for the sake of our gadgets. Sahil pulled out his 16 megapixel digicam and clicked a selfie of both of us together. The picture was good, but the screen was just about 4.5 inches long. I knew that what his camera could do well, my Zenfone 5 could do better. So I pulled out my phone and took a selfie in the same pose. The picture was better, with natural colours, in spite of the camera being only an 8 megapixel one. Plus, the screen being bigger at 5 inches, we could see the image better. The results shocked Sahil.

"PixelMaster technology", I answered him before he could pose a question. "The rear camera is loaded with 8 megapixel resolution, a Sony BSI sensor, a 5-element lens, and largan optics. The focus gets locked in no time. It can even take shots with shallow depth field. It also has software-based image stabilisation, by the way, which makes all pictures I click with this phone virtually blur-free."

"You just got a lucky click", he dismissed my explanation. I only smiled.

We walked ahead, slowly getting deeper into the forest. We were having a great time, putting our clicking skills to the test and indulging in healthy competition. Somewhere along the way though, where the tree cover was thicker, we encountered bad light.

"What happened? Not gonna put your Superphone to the test? Too dark eh?", he chided me.

"Why not?", I said, whipping out my phone and getting a dozen pictures clicked. The results were outstanding, and Sahil was left astounded.

"The low-light mode works really well dude. Does it work in absolute darkness as well?", Sahil was curious to know.

"Sure does. Even in absolute darkness, you'll get a fairly bright picture."

"What other modes does it have?"

Sensing that I was soon getting a non-believer on board, I went in for the kill, "It has a beautification mode, Panorama mode, an HDR mode, a time rewind mode, a smart remove mode, a smile detection mode, and my favourite, a GIF animator."

"A gif animator too?", he was excited, "that's so cool."

I nodded.

"Tell me more", he demanded.

"Well, it works on an Intel Z2560 Atom chipset, 1.6 GHz dual-core, and 2 GB RAM. The Atom chipset helps it run more than 10 applications at a time, smoothly. All this, without the phone heating up."

"Amazing."

Our trip was pretty long. After 5-6 hours in the forest, we headed back homewards in our jeep. We had many stopovers, sometimes for food, for tea, and also for pictures. By But along the way, Sahil's camera conked off, having run out of battery. My phone, however, was up and running.

"The battery is amazing too?", his jaw dropped.

"Yup, With a 2,110 mAh battery, you can keep the phone running for practically the whole day."

"Dude, this sure is a masterpiece." He was already floored.

"Nope", I interrupted him. "It's a SUPERPHONE".

To learn more about the ASUS ZENFONE 5, visit this link ==> ASUS ZENFONE 5

GALAT PICCHAR - SHOLAY

Today, I present to you the first post in a brand new series. It is aptly titled 'GALAT PICCHAR'. 'Galat' in Hindi means 'Wrong' and 'Picchar' is the Desi word for 'Picture' or a movie. So no prizes for guessing what 'Galat Picchar' means. Believe what you read here at your own risk.

Most Desis are film buffs. We know our 'Hum Aapke Hain Kauns' and 'RaOnes' 'DDLJs' by heart. But with almost half the population being born in the 90s, it would be a tad unfair for to expect everyone to have watched or even have heard about movies of the 70s, even if they were classics. Hence, it becomes a duty on the part of us veterans pre-1990ers to bring these wonderful movies to the poor novices. Today, I proudly give you the most accurate synopsis of the evergreen classic...*drumroll*...SHOLAY.

The movie actually shuttles between real time and flashback sequences. Because I'm too lazy to type For simplicity in narration, I will present the story to you in proper chronological order. For easy comprehension, I am also attaching images, wherever necessary.

Most fans of the movie will argue that Sholay is an action-packed tale of unconditional friendship, loyalty and the ultimate revenge saga. However, it is also the story of a power-struggle between a 'connoisseur of art' dacoit and a village Thakur with a strange obsession with male hands.

The actual story begins with the Thakur (who by the way also happens to be a former cop) hunting down a hairy Daaku - Gabbar Singh. At the very beginning of the sordid tale, we are greeted by the sight of the wicked Thakur harassing strangulating Gabbar.

To add insult to injury, Thakur gets Gabbar imprisoned and sentenced for unlawful assembly and for promoting obscenity (read: enjoying ganda naach gaana with his merry men). What's more, Thakur chose to put only Gabbar behind bars, and not his 'unlawful assembly' or the vulgar dance troupe. Some personal vendetta!

Anyway, before he is led to prison, Gabbar vows revenge against Thakur for his 'Misbehaviour', 'Suppression of Art & Creativity' and 'Moral Policing'. In other words, he vows revenge on Thakur's 'Dhoblegiri'.

Soon enough, Gabbar escapes from jail. He blocks Thakur's newly-acquired android phone using the IMEI number.

His ego badly hurt, Thakur sets out to put Gabbar in his place. He pays no heed to Ramlal's prophetic words. Ouch! That was soon gonna cost both of them dearly.

Ramlal should have been a little more aggressive with his convincing. It was in his own best interests after all. Alas, very soon he was going to have to face the consequences of his lethargy...for the rest of his life.

Meanwhile, Thakur acts like a dhedh-shaana, and confronts Gabbar, in his own lair. He also falsely claims that Gabbar has stolen his handsfree device. Gabbar responds with an amazing display of black humour, and sends him back home....hands-free.

Not one to be done in so easily, and also because he was beginning to enjoy this game of 'badla-badla', Thakur hatches a plan to get back at Gabbar. He sends for Inspector Bajrang Pandey.

The original plan was to book Inspector Pandey's railway ticket directly to the village station. However, a steep hike in rail fares makes Thakur resort to a 'super-value-saver' plan of booking the rail ticket for only half the distance, and then forcing Pandey to cover the remaining distance on 'horsepower'. Here's recorded footage:-

Inspector Bajrang Pandey is clearly not amused with Thakur's kanjoosi austerity measures. He makes known his feelings.

Quickly smarting from his faux pas, the Inspector seeks to know why he was called. The answer he gets makes him realise that his reservations about Thakur's orientation had been well-founded all along.

Jai and Veeru. Petty criminals. And yet, the quintessential Bollywood 'good-at-heart' heroes. When they're not burgling someone's house, these 'friends' move around aimlessly, painting towns pink with their antics. Check out their vintage Spicegirls-esque dance moves.

They're always focussing on giving 'stiff' competition to other criminal brothers.

Thakur stalks them around town. When he finally manages to grab their attention, he spills the beans.

Thakur and his raging hormones...sheesh!

Anyway, he tells Jai and Veeru about his plan to capture Gabbar - ALIVE. In true-blue Indian corporate style, he promises them ample growth opportunities, job satisfaction, perks, free transport, work-life balance and salaries as per industry standards. And they fall for it! Haha! Suckers!

As expected, they arrive at the village taxi stand...at their own expenses.

With no taxi in sight to take them to Thakur's 'mansion', they decide to travel cattle-class.

They hire Basanti's tonga. Basanti is the village chatter-box. Her hobbies include exercising her vocal chords for no rhyme or reason and boring people to death. Her horse's name is Dhanno. Both seem to have a bad reputation, because apparently, everyone in the village had taken a ride.

For reasons more suited to primates, Veeru has the hots for Basanti. He engages in a very enriching one-way conversation with her. Jai is not amused with the new development. 'Maybe he's looking at the prospect of free transport facilities', he thinks. Insecurity creeps in.

Finally reaching Thakur's office after an extremely torturous one-way chat session in the tonga, Jai and Veeru have a formal induction. They quickly undergo 'on-the-job' training. They also get to hear a gazillion horror stories from Ramlal about Thakur giving crap.

Their personal lives, however, are not sailing smoothly. Veeru is slowly but surely drifting away from Jai and spending more time with motor-mouth Basanti.

Finally sensing that his relationship with Veeru is as good as over, Jai begins to seek whiter greener pastures. He spots Thakur's always-in-white widowed Bahu, Radha.

In a matter of hours, the romantic tension that was just a spark in the morning had soon turned into a forest fire. The whole village could tell that Jai was smitten.

It wasn't hard to guess. It was all so obvious.

Soon, Jai can't handle his desperation. He wants to take this relationship with Radha to a different level. With Veeru having smoothly sailed through the beginner's level with Basanti, Jai feels he needs to act fast. He decides it is best to skip the 'intermediate' level and take his relationship directly to the 'expert' level without wasting time.

One day, Gabbar sends three of his collection agents, led by Kaalia, to Walmart the village to fetch his gang's monthly ration. Ramlal, who also doubles up as the village watch-tower manager, sees them coming and quickly warns the villagers. All of a sudden, the gaanv-waaley swing into action and act busy. They ignore the collection agents' demands. Having exhausted all their energy, the trio turn back. Jai and Veeru (who till then are hiding like snipers and smoking their beedis) decide to play target practice with them as they gallop away, just for kicks.

Of course, Gabbar is left fuming at his collection agents' performance. Since it was performance appraisal time, he decides to cut his wage costs by gunning them down laying them off (without severance package, gratuity and other benefits). Of course, in Indian Corporate style, he pretends to take his HR Manager's advice before taking the step.

Wasting no time, Gabbar immediately decides to organise a recruitment drive in the village to fill the three vacant positions in his gang. He tells his HR Manager to choose a 'holiday' for the same, so that candidates wouldn't have to compromise on their current work commitments to make themselves available for the interviews. But Samba doesn't hear Gabbar too well (what do you expect when he's always seated so high, out of the audibility radius), and chooses HOLI-day for the recruitment drive.

But Indians love their HOLI-day. After all, we men can't just let a one-day no-holds-barred license to get wicked naughty with the ladies slip out of our hands so easily, can we? So the villagers give Gabbar's interview calls a miss.

This incenses Gabbar so much that he comes to the village himself, with a more aggressive approach. There, he bumps into Jai and Veeru. Sensing an opportunity to hire skilled labour for cheap, he gives them job offers that he doesn't want them to refuse. But to his utter disappointment, they say no thank you. After all, girlfriend izzat naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai!

Disappointed, Gabbar goes to an open-air dance bar to drink his sorrows away, and to enjoy a DANCE performance.

But spoilsports that they are, Jai and Veeru show up and spoil the fun with sutli bombs and Diwali rockets. Nevertheless, poetic justice is done, when a sutli bomb bursts in Jai's hand.

Having had their fill of cheap thrills, Jai and Veeru get back to the village. Radha wastes no time in tending to Jai's injured thumb nail. Seeing the PDA, Veeru suddenly realises that he has a lot of catching up to do. He promptly resorts to Bollywood's fool-proof "Sing A Song To Ding-Dong" formula to get a promotion from motor-mouth Basanti.

After getting Basanti on board (WTF! How??), Veeru seeks Jai's help to convince Basanti's Mausi to agree to their alliance. Jai does the needful.

The wedding would eventually take place a few months later, much after the end of this movie. Didn't end too well though. The following was the last available footage of Veeru, taken a couple of days after the wedding.

Meanwhile, Gabbar is still sulking about the massive 'iggy' his recruitment drive has elicited. He's in urgent need of procurement officers. So he decides to adopt an even more aggressive approach to hiring, an approach that would make even multi-level marketing guys gawk in admiration.

This is Imam Saheb. He's old and blind (awww). He constitutes the minority quota that is so typical of Bollywood movies. He's an absolute gem of a person. If he was Christian, his name would've probably been Michael, and he'd have been the jolly good owner of a beer-bar.

This is Ahmed. He is Imam Saheb's young son. We already know he is Muslim because of his name and because we know who his father is. But the costume designer still wants to be sure that we idiots don't get confused. So here is how Ahmed is made to look 24x7, 365 days a year.

One of these guys' fate is sealed (read: one of them is about to die) because all Muslims/Christians/Parsis/Sardarjis in a Bollywood movie are brave and sacrificing in nature.

So yes, Gabbar kills Ahmed because he refuses to stifle his career prospects by joining Gabbar's sorry bunch of donkey horse-riding losers.

When the body is sent back to the village, everyone except Imam Sahab is devastated. Why? Because Imam Saheb is from the minority, stupid. We minority peeps groom our kids to become brave and honourable, and we raise them to sacrifice their lives for honour and for the nation. Geddit suckers? Lolz.

Oh, wait, lest you miss an evergreen classic moment, here it is.

Next, Gabbar gets Basanti kidnapped (haha, crazy daring shit).

Why does he kidnap her? Just because he wants to see her dance. Yeah, weirdass stuff.

Veeru finally realises that matters are serious (that's what girls do to you, they make you serious about everything), and sets off on a rescue mission. Alas, he gets caught in Gabbar's trap, because Ramesh and Suresh had made his patloon ek bilaang choti.

Gabbar forces Basanti to dance if she wants a Koffee with Karan gift hamper her lover to live. She obliges and floors everyone with her never-seen-before moves.

While Gabbar and his merry men lay on the floor clutching their bellies and laughing themselves half-dead, Jai arrives on the scene and shoots down a dozen helpless daakus. He also frees Veeru and Basanti, and they all try to run for their lives. A gun battle ensues, in which Jai gets fatally wounded. As he lay dying, he leaves behind a legacy for his dear friend Veeru.

Radha cries bitterly after Jai's death. But Veeru goes metal-thrashing mad. Undoubtedly, Jai was more than a talented harmonica player for him. He goes back to Gabbar's lair and slays all of his men, 'chun-chunke'.

In the end, he grabs Gabbar by the throat and is about to choke him to death when spoil-sport Thakur arrives at the scene to get a taste of the action. He commands Veeru to leave Gabbar to him. Veeru laughs hysterically as he leaves the scene, but you can't blame him for that.

Here's Thakur getting ready for the fight.

  
 
The following fight is a no disqualification, no count-out, no-holds-barred match-up.

In the left corner, from places unknown, weighing in at 330 lbs, we have Gabbar Singh.

And in the right corner, from Ramgadh village mansion, weighing in at 260 lbs, here is Thakur.

Gabbar starts off on the wrong foot. He tries to break the ice by making a risque comment.

Those would be Gabbar's last words. His sense of humour doesn't go down too well with Thakur, a Taekwondo black-belt as we can see from the following clipping. All it takes is a well-timed and well-directed drop kick from Thakur to kill Gabbar. If India had a few more talented prodigies like him, our crime rates would've been incredibly low.

And from there on, everyone lived happily ever after.

Except for Ramlal of course.

The End.

SHOLAY is and always has been one of my all-time favourite movies. For one, it has Amitabh Bachchan in it. Secondly, it had the right amount of melodrama in it - not too much. It is one the best 'Revenge' dramas and friendship stories every essayed. Jai's dying scene still brings tears to my eyes...sometimes. 

This post is the result of inspiration I got from reading another blog. Tons of applause for IMAANSHEIKH.

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Cheers