Disclaimer: All characters in this post are fictitious and do not bear resemblance to any person living or dead, or hanging in between. Any resemblance would be a coincidence.
If it is NOT a coincidence, and a character does resemble someone, that someone needs serious and urgent help, and a really hard kick on his/her backside :P
Somewhere in a troubled state in India
B_ _ _ _ ji - Its my birthday next year...haaaaynnn. Build me a statue.
Crony - Oh but madamjee, you already have a dozen all over the state. And that's not counting the 60 elephant statues you've unveiled.
B_ _ _ _ ji - Chup raho badtameez...else I'll have you plastered in one of them. haaaynnn...What's the status of the donation drive for my birthday party at the Taj?
Crony - Hotel Taj in Mumbai? But that's....
B_ _ _ _ ji - The Taj Mahal of Agra, you daay-um phool. haayynnn...Did people donate enough for my birthday cake?
Crony - Of course maidum-jee. Our extortionists are doing a good job. Only 1 fool dared to protest, and he's been packed off to another world. heehee.
B_ _ _ _ ji - Good good. So am I going to have a 100 kg cake this time? Last time's 52 kg one was sooo iss-small..haaynn haaynn?
Crony - 100 kg? That's it? Oh no maidumjee, we're making one the size of a statue this time. And we've arranged for someone to train you on handling a bulldozer too.
B_ _ _ _ ji - A bulldozer?? Why?
Crony - To cut the cake na maidumjee. Big cake no?
B_ _ _ _ ji - Oh good good. I haaynn like it. haaynn haaynnn. So how much have we spent already?
Crony - We haven't even touched 100 crores maidumjee. Don't worry.
B_ _ _ _ ji - You haven't crossed 100 crores yet? How dare you say that? What have you peepul been doing? Build me more statues! FAST!! Are you doing this injustice to me because I am a gareeb Dalit ki beti? Boo-hoo. You cheap upper class kameene-log. Don't you know I'm a living Goddess? Dalits will never forgive you.
Crony - What about those fools who keep complaining that they are hungry and unemployed, and need food, education and employment?
B_ _ _ _ ji - Arre, I'm building statues na? For their benefit only. They will pray to my statues and they will be saved, no?
Crony - You are a genius maidumjee! Dhanya ho aapka! Aap DEVI ho!!
B_ _ _ _ ji - I know! haaaynnnn!!
Somewhere in Blogosphere
Soil-eatery-crapper - Hey dude. I 'am' participated in a contest for best blogger. Will you votes for me?
Me - Dude, I need to be fair here. Show me all the nominated posts and I'll vote for the best, if I find time to read.
Soil-eatery-crapper - You wanting to read all? Why dude? I'm telling you na, I'm among the bestest. Right now I am 2nd. I just need 3 votes to lead.
Me - Dude, I said I'll be fair. I'm not gonna vote for you just coz I know you.
Soil-eatery-crapper - Ok I've mailed you 'a' award...no..3 awards for your blog. Now will you vote? Vote na please.....
Me - Show me all the nominations dude.
Soil-eatery-crapper - Here.
Me - Hey, they re all of your own blog.
Soil-eatery-crapper - Of course. I'm only making it easy for you na. I'm shortlisting for making easy for you.
Me - Sorry dude, but...
Soil-eatery-crapper - And oh, 'by the ways', one of your posts has been nominated for most humorous post of 2009 on my bloggers' community.
Me - Which one?
Me - Eek. That's not my funniest post. And what do I see, 3 of your own posts have been nominated in the same category? None of em are funny, though your vocab sure is.
Soil-eatery-crapper - Yeah yeah, whatever. So are you gonna vote now?
Me - Nope
Soil-eatery-crapper - Okay, any of your other blogger friends 'is' online?