PRE-MARITAL SEX : MY OPINION

Everyone has a different opinion on sex. Most people, especially men, might look at it as mere sexual activity. Others, mostly women (or so they say) might define it as a bond between two people that love each other. The world over, more than 90% people admit to having had sex at least once before marriage. In many countries, marriage is not even a popular institution anymore.

In India, people still won't like to admit that they have had pre-marital sex. This is in spite of the fact that many might have actually indulged in it, or at least desired it. Hell, I can admit that I've desired if only I had an opportunity and a willing partner. 

We live in a very hypocritical society. Sex is all around us - in magazines, in the movies, television commercials, in movie soundtracks...many times even on the first pages of newspapers. Sex sells like hot cakes, whether discreetly or blatantly. Skin show is the norm everywhere. Sex is, after all, a part of human nature. But when it comes to speaking about it, most of us Indian will shy away. Of course, it's another matter when people make lifestyle choices and are firm about it - whether they choose to be sexually liberal or abstain. But many of us (including me) are bold only undercover, and extremely prude in the open.

Research shows men to have higher libido (not surprising, or is it?), while women are choosy about their sexual partners. Which means that men seek sex more easily than women do only because their bodies crave for it. In simple words, men are more likely to go for pre-marital sex, if they have the opportunity.

So is pre-marital sex good or bad? I wouldn't want to take a moral or a religious stance. In my opinion, everyone has the right to make his life's choices. But every person should also have the of the capability or the courage to bear the consequences of the choices they make. If you feel that you’re not ready for sex then that is completely fine. Likewise, if someone else wants to indulge, we can’t judge them (unless they're cheating). As long as you make your choices, be responsible, and don't hurt anyone, it's all fine. To each his own.

But I must say, sex after marriage (with your lawful spouse) might be devoid of thrill and adventure, but it sure guarantees you pleasure - both during the act and after, coz you can sleep peacefully without any guilt. :)

Buy Poonaam Uppal’s engrossing tale of finding love - A Passionaate Gospel of True Love: A Mystical True Love Story.

Cheers
CRD

THREE GENERATIONS, TWO PHOTOGRAPHS, ONE EMOTION

That's my dad in both photographs, 'toddler' me in one, and my son in the other. Only the year has changed, but my dad's love hasn't.

Dad was a strict disciplinarian and a terror (I kid not) while I was growing up. I sometimes envy my son when my dad treats him like royalty, but this picture makes me realise he hasn't changed. I guess love is timeless after all. :)

Cheers,

CRD

VACATIONING WITH A TODDLER

Source: www.dreamstime.com

The dictionary defines a vacation as ‘a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. Sounds simple, no? Parents of one-year olds, however, will know better. Imagine planning a vacation with plans for travel, accommodation, meals and sightseeing, without factoring in activities like changing diapers, feeding, bathing and managing tantrums. Sounds a little more complicated now, nay?

Till recently, I was not too enthusiastic about a family vacation with a small boy in tow. After all, a vacation should be something that you cherish for a lifetime, and you should preserve the memories. How on earth is a one-year old kid going to appreciate a vacation anyway? A family vacation can sometimes feel like no vacation at all for parents, what with all the chasing after kids that needs to be done. A few interactions with friends, however, changed this view. ‘Why should you let your child eat into your leisure time?’ they opined, ‘…you can have fun and make it fun for him too, so what if he won’t remember?’ That made a lot of sense. I might soon plan a vacation.

There are a few things I will have to take care of though, when it comes to vacationing with a small kid. Here is what I intend to do/take care of:-

1. Safety - Safety ought to be the number one priority when it comes to going on a vacation with a small kid. It is very easy, while having fun and letting your hair down, to let down your guard and take your eyes off your kid. Small kids are very curious, and might unintentionally step into trouble. So you always need to be alert.
2. Make sure you factor in child care necessities into your itinerary – So whether it is nappy change time, or feeding time, or just plain tantrum addressing, please be prepared with a decent time-table that would help you beat sudden shocks and surprises, and a whole lot of frustration.
3. Babysitting – If it is feasible, see if you can find a hotel with baby-sitting services or a crèche. It would be great to tag the babysitter along on your vacation. Although it is not such a feasible idea, you could try hiring a temporary babysitter for the trip.
4. A little twist to have some privacy – Booking a room with an attached balcony can be a good idea to get some privacy while the kid is asleep. Just be careful about the kid’s safety in the balcony.
5. The family that vacations together – Taking parents and in-laws along on a vacation is a wonderful idea. Firstly, the more the merrier. Secondly, family members make good and trustworthy caretakers for a child.

So, there you are. Let the kids indulge in all the fun activities, let them soak up the sun, let them have a great time. All this while being safe. They might not remember a thing, but hey, you can click photographs for them to see when they grow a little older. The important thing is you can enjoy yourselves without feeling guilty or worried about their well-being.

It’s time for me to look up a good holiday destination.

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SOCIO-PHOBIA

Source: www.anxietywellness.org

Once upon a time, long long ago, Aristotle had said, 'Man (and woman) is a social animal. He can not live without society. If he does, he is either a beast, or God.'

Indeed, humans cannot live in solitude. They need family, friends, their social circles, a good work environment, and society at large. Without the concept of society, we humans would have been no better than wild animals, there would have been no social skills, no learnings, no knowledge sharing, no display of caring...no humanity. Man has learnt to develop relations with other men and women, not just for his own emotional, mental and physical needs, but also for sheer survival. To forge such relationships, he makes an effort to mingle with all social circles.

And yet, there are some people who absolutely avoid situations that require them to be in a crowd.

I was always a shy guy. I simply hated being amidst a group of people unless I knew at least two or three people who could keep me company. Till date, I avoid attending parties. Somehow, The fear of embarrassing myself or looking clumsy was so intense that I would try my best to excuse myself from social gatherings. The fear of not measuring up in comparison to others and of being judged, although they might seem irrational to an average person, are very real for some people, meaning that they can’t help but feel anxious.

Public speaking was something I always abhored. Fortunately for me, through school and college days, I did not encounter too many occasions where I had to speak to a crowd. To walk through hordes of humanity, stand up and face them, and then speak to them while they were all ears - that thought freaked me out. "Are they actually listening to me or are they simply waiting for me to fumble and give them some entertainment?", "Why are they staring at me? Am I a freak?"...thoughts like these flooded my head on the few occasions that I absolutely HAD to speak. It was still ok then though, since till then I managed to keep them short and sweet. But the fact that life's moments were about to get even more anxious in the future didn't dawn upon me till the time I enrolled myself for a management course.

"I'd like each of you to stand up and introduce yourselves properly. Not just your name and qualifications, a little bit about your hobbies, interests and future aspirations too.", our Institute's Director said on the very first day. To say I was stunned is an understatement. My sweaty palms and forehead made me more anxious than I already was.

I simply lost count of the number of times we were forced to speak. Debates, presentations, speeches happened on a daily basis. Although I absolutely sucked at public speaking, I think the sheer number of speaking encounters got me used to the grind. Also, since not many people ridiculed me, and many in fact tried to help me through it, I slowly gained confidence. I also discovered a few people like me and realised I was not alone. Today, although  I still have sweaty palms, I do manage to muster up some courage to speak, and I do a decent job. I can only get better.

The important thing is that my mission to combat my fear is on,and I'm at it.

Here's a Tamil video showing how Mountain Dew suggests you combat fear.

This post is written as an entry for the 'Rise above Fear' contest sponsored by Mountain Dew and Indiblogger. Check out the page https://www.facebook.com/mountaindewindia