CORPORATE DISCOVERIES

After a 15 month sabbatical from an 'Office' job, or rather a "Non-family Office' job, I've finally found myself a job in a really BIG BPO. I've finally become a member of the corporate sector. Joined on the 10th. It's been a great experience so far, and I find myself exposed to a culture that's very different from what I've been exposed to so far. I've discovered a lot of things, some really shocking (call me naive if you want to, aisa hi hoon main :p). Read on to see whether you've ever felt the same, and feel like disputing my claim that these are MY discoveries.

• There's no one in the organisation whom you would need to address as 'Sir' or 'Madam'. Which gives you a nice feeling. A feeling that all are equal. Until, of course, the day comes when everyone gets their paychecks. [:p]

• Everyone is supposed to converse in English. Except in the elevator, the cafeteria, in the company bus, while using the staircase, in the loo, in the smoking zone, in the classroom when your 'Trainer'/'Team Leader'/'Team Manager'/'Operations Head'/'Other Superiors I've never come across just yet', are not around. So basically, you're supposed to speak in English only when you know you're being watched.



• Everyone speaks in English. But some speak English that's a level higher and beyond the comprehension of the others. Actually, it's beyond the comprehension of any English Scholar too. It's supernatural. All the past Queens of England would turn in their graves at the speed of light if they had to hear those gems[:P]
  


• The smoking zone was a really new concept to me. never before had I been exposed to sooooooooo many smokers at the same time. Almost a 100 of 'em puffing away to glory, in perfect harmony. And 40% of them are females. And to think that prior to the 10th of December, I had never found myself amidst more than 2 smokers.



• To admit that you're a teetotaller is a complete No-No. It is like self-proclaiming yourself as "Horlicks Champion" or "Bournvita King". And you risk being hailed as the same daily, if not every 5 minutes. And no, these are not titles to be proud of. (That was for peeps who're more naive than me).



• You risk losing your sense of appreciation for beauty (read Pretty Young Things). There are just TOO MANY of them all over the place. Even the superiors and Trainers look great (no kidding!!!) So much beauty to behold, so little time. No wonder you lose interest very soon.



• The staircase is NOT to be used to navigate up and down floors. They are meant for mini-parties, mehndi applications, gossip, and the likes. They are mainly meant for COUPLES who desperately need to steal some private time. And God Forbid if you ever happen to disturb any couple from the dozens out there by mistake (really, it was by mistake :p), you should hang your head down and walk by as if you saw nothing. I haven't seen anything till date, so don't ask me for details.



• There are CCTV's all over. And they'll work only when you yourself one day decide to test their prowess.



• There are lots of activities. Games that help to break the ice between colleagues. And they're really fun, till the time its your turn to perform a forfeit and do a Shakira belly-dancing item. And there are many occasions when you have to introduce yourself stating your name, age, previous working experience, likes and dislikes. Its a nice thing, but it really can get on your nerves when you have to say the same things 2 dozen times in less than a dozen hours, to different people. Why don't they record it once and for all and play it for anyone who really wants to know about us? [:P]

But nevertheless, I've made a lot of friends in no time. Hopefully they'll be my friends for life. And I've met some amazing trainers who're really down-to-earth, sporting, who can laugh at themselves, and who personify teamwork. I've met some who command a lot of respect, and I can't help but respect them, coz they really deserve every bit of it.

Still more discoveries to make. Hope none of my superiors come across this. And even if they do, look, I've said some good things too. So don't be too harsh on me, okay guys? Lemme not discover that I've been fired for CORPORATE BLASPHEMY!