Saturday, 27 March 2010


I stood on the platform, wiping the sweat off my brows, my neck, and my newly-shaved pate. The indicator which said 9:02 ST just a minute ago, suddenly blanked out. When it came back to life a minute later, it said 9:10 ST. I cursed under my breath – Central Railway never gives up cancelling trains. The announcement system blurted out something that sounded like Chinese mumbo-jumbo. I guessed it was about the godforsaken cancellation.

Train cancellations in Mumbai are a pain. Not only because your time management goes for a toss, but also because late and cancelled trains mean extra-crowded trains and thereby wastage of laundry expenses in a matter of seconds.

They were three of them. All of them had their shirts un-tucked and unbuttoned to the third button, had thick golden disco-chains adorning t heir necks, and wore thick ‘kadaas’ on their wrists. Two were short and stocky, while the third was super-slim and tall. All were in their early 30’s.

The 9:10 train arrived right on time, at 9:15 to be precise. As the train began screeching to a halt right in front of our eyes, the 3 of them raised their hands to touch the side of the engine, as if it were a deity. As part of their strategy, they kept their hands raised for a little longer, even after they had their touch, coz they knew the ladies’ compartment was what would arrive right after the engine.

2 of them managed to brush shoulders. But the tall one landed a bulls-eye. He smiled at the others vindictively. They sniggered in appreciation and waited for the train to halt.

No sooner had it halted than they started shoving, yelling and cussing in their mission to get in. They stepped in and landed knees and ‘el-blows’ on unsuspecting people. They had to get right in, to their brothers who were waiting for them. I followed them in after a mini-combat of my own. And I saw their brethren. A whole dozen of them, sitting comfortably – just 3 on a seat as opposed to others adjusting with 4 on 1. They didn’t let anyone occupy the ‘gully’ between the seats where they were sitting. A few poor chaps who tried were welcomed with a few choicest words. Luckier ones managed to get away with threatening pushes.

This was the Brotherhood’s den.

The 3 joined them.

Then they all started pulling out their weapons.

5 minutes later, when they were all ready to fire, they started in tandem….

“Raam Krishna Harey!!!...Raam Krishna Harey!!!........”

How I hate dholaks and manjeerays because of the jerks who wield them.


It's very upsetting when someone is the world to you, but you feel you're not as important to that someone...

Monday, 1 March 2010


The place would be thronging with people in some time. He knew it well. He smacked his lips in anticipation. The larger the crowd, the bigger the body count. The chances of missing your shots also reduced significantly when the number of potential targets was large. He stayed put behind the bushes. He knew there might be others like him around, but he hoped no one else would come calling to share space - so what if there was enough space for three?
Hunters don't like sharing their spoils.

A minute later, a lone young lady came walking out of the building lobby, dressed in executive formals, all decked up, leather bag in tow. She seemed to be looking around suspiciously, as if she had a cue on what the plan was - his plan...

She was now just a few metres away from his den. He couldn't miss from here.

He felt his weapon again. It felt awesome. A sniper rifle. Brand new, smooth, well-finished.
And most importantly....fully loaded.

He pulled it out, trained it on his target, watched through the telescopic sight, and caught the moving image of the lady at the centre of the cross-hairs.

And then, when he was sure she was a goner, he pulled the trigger.


She clutched her soaking-wet, blood-red blouse.


"BURA NA MAANO, HOLI HAI!!!", he screamed, and scampered off, deep into the garden.

Wish we had one of these colored-water spewing guns when we were young. Kids today have water guns resembling Sniper Rifles, AK-47's and Kalashnikovs.
HAPPY HOLI!!! Please keep it Holy :P