Monday, 31 December 2007

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS - AGAIN!!!


So its that time of the year when you bid farewell to the old year and welcome the new year. A time for another excuse to party and spend the night outdoors. Some might stay indoors, while some lucky naughty ones get to stay indoors, albeit OUTSIDE THEIR OWN HOMES. [:p]. Its that time of the year when all Astrologers and some new wannabe-astrologers play with words and pull out random prophecies from their list of cliched statements. The cunning ones make combinations of 2 or more previously used statements from archives to evade being found out. But they'd rather not waste their time on it. Don't they know that we fools are gonna read their columns anyway? Its that time of the year when not only family and friends, but even people who would otherwise not even wanna see each others' faces suddenly develop bonhomie and greet each other with a smile. Of course, the next day things go back to normal and the back stabbing resumes from where it left off 2 days prior.



Its also that time of the year when EVERYONE makes New Year's Resolutions. Some might not openly admit it, but the truth is that everyone has a plan for the coming year. I've racked my brains a lot, and have come up with my list of 10 Resolutions (okay okay, I did'nt really rack my brains a lot, many of 'em are carried forward from the previous year, but it does take some effort to remember things you made on 31st December the last year and forgot on 1st January :p). So here's my list:




  1. I resolve to get myself physically fit by losing a few tonnes in weight. Well, this is one Resolution that I've been bringing forward from the past 5 years, its only the figure of the magnitude of weight to lose that changes every year. And that figure has been showing an increasing trend. Its not a nice thing to know that "Meri PAUNCH bahut door tak hai".

  2. I resolve to either do everyhing possile to regain some of my lost hair, or to get rid of the scanty vegetation all together. I'm sick of the 'left side to right side' Rajat Sharma hairdo.

  3. I shall never openly admit that I'm a teetotaller or a non-smoker. I'm not happy with the titles of "Bournvita King" and "Horlicks Champion".

  4. I shall keep my Heart to myself. Wish I'd made this Resolution two years back.

  5. I shall stop reading Horoscopes. Bejan Daruwala, Marjorie Orr, Sunita Menon, etc etc, I boycott thee all. (Just gimme a break of a week okay..I'll be back. I know you peeps already know it).

  6. I shall avoid trying to mime Keralite and other South-Indian accents. Too much of trying has really made my L's thick and I've begun to unconsciously speak like a mallu. I am partly Mallu (1/3rd Mallu, keep guessing how come :d), but still, I used to enjoy it when people took wild guesses about my ethnicity and never got it right.

  7. I shall not give too much importance to people who don't deserve it. I shall stop assuming that relationships and friendships can last forever if you are loyal and committed.

  8. I shall learn to dance. Another brought-forward item. I suspect you'll be seeing this in my next year's Resolution List as well.

  9. I shall learn atleast one musical instrument for sure this year. I promise not to break the guitar in frustration if I don't get the B and F chords right. I really do want to graduate from playing Air-Guitars and Air-Drums. I've played Air-Bass Guitar as well, can you do that?

  10. I shall post on my blog more regularly. And I shall find more decent and respectable methods to garner comments on my blog posts, than posting on the "Leave a comment on the blog above" post in the Bloggers community on orkut.......hmm no...I strike out the last sentence. Typed it in a drunken state,I'm sorry. How can I even think that's possible? :p

So there you go. that was my list for 2008. Hope the coming year is better than the year passing by. WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


And hey, if you do comment here (plz do so..plz plz plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :p), let it be in the form of a few of your own resolutions.


See y'all NEXT YEAR.

Sunday, 23 December 2007

CORPORATE DISCOVERIES




After a 15 month sabbatical from an 'Office' job, or rather a "Non-family Office' job, I've finally found myself a job in a really BIG BPO. I've finally become a member of the corporate sector. Joined on the 10th. It's been a great experience so far, and I find myself exposed to a culture that's very different from what I've been exposed to so far. I've discovered a lot of things, some really shocking (call me naive if you want to, aisa hi hoon main :p). Read on to see whether you've ever felt the same, and feel like disputing my claim that these are MY discoveries.

  • There's no one in the organisation whom you would need to address as 'Sir' or 'Madam'. Which gives you a nice feeling. A feeling that all are equal. Until, of course, the day comes when everyone gets their paychecks. [:p]

  • Everyone is supposed to converse in English. Except in the elevator, the cafeteria, in the company bus, while using the staircase, in the loo, in the smoking zone, in the classroom when your 'Trainer'/'Team Leader'/'Team Manager'/'Operations Head'/'Other Superiors I've never come across just yet', are not around. So basically, you're supposed to speak in English only when you know you're being watched.


  • Everyone speaks in English. But some speak English that's a level higher and beyond the comprehension of the others. Actually, it's beyond the comprehension of any English Scholar too. It's supernatural. All the past Queens of England would turn in their graves at the speed of light if they had to hear those gems[:P]

  • The smoking zone was a really new concept to me. never before had I been exposed to sooooooooo many smokers at the same time. Almost a 100 of 'em puffing away to glory, in perfect harmony. And 40% of them are females. And to think that prior to the 10th of December, I had never found myself amidst more than 2 smokers.


  • To admit that you're a teetotaller is a complete No-No. It is like self-proclaiming yourself as "Horlicks Champion" or "Bournvita King". And you risk being hailed as the same daily, if not every 5 minutes. And no, these are not titles to be proud of. (That was for peeps who're more naive than me).


  • You risk losing your sense of appreciation for beauty (read Pretty Young Things). There are just TOO MANY of them all over the place. Even the superiors and Trainers look great (no kidding!!!) So much beauty to behold, so little time. No wonder you lose interest very soon.


  • The staircase is NOT to be used to navigate up and down floors. They are meant for mini-parties, mehndi applications, gossip, and the likes. They are mainly meant for COUPLES who desperately need to steal some private time. And God Forbid if you ever happen to disturb any couple from the dozens out there by mistake (really, it was by mistake :p), you should hang your head down and walk by as if you saw nothing. I haven't seen anything till date, so don't ask me for details.


  • There are CCTV's all over. And they'll work only when you yourself one day decide to test their prowess.


  • There are lots of activities. Games that help to break the ice between colleagues. And they're really fun, till the time its your turn to perform a forfeit and do a Shakira belly-dancing item. And there are many occasions when you have to introduce yourself stating your name, age, previous working experience, likes and dislikes. Its a nice thing, but it really can get on your nerves when you have to say the same things 2 dozen times in less than a dozen hours, to different people. Why don't they record it once and for all and play it for anyone who really wants to know about us? [:P]

But nevertheless, I've made a lot of friends in no time. Hopefully they'll be my friends for life. And I've met some amazing trainers who're really down-to-earth, sporting, who can laugh at themselves, and who personify teamwork. I've met some who command a lot of respect, and I can't help but respect them, coz they really deserve every bit of it.



Still more discoveries to make. Hope none of my superiors come across this. And even if they do, look, I've said some good things too. So don't be too harsh on me, okay guys? Lemme not discover that I've been fired for CORPORATE BLASPHEMY!

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

I'VE BEEN TAGGED - DWITIYA


So Nids aka SSNAB has done a 'noble' deed indeed by tagging me, and thus ensuring that I have something to add to my somewhat stagnant blog. I'll repay her 'Act of kindness' someday, hopefully. "High Hopes", I'm sure she's thinking. I think so too. :p

So here are 8 facts about me:-


  1. I have a very uncommon name for an Indian. The Catholic population might be substantial in India, but Christopher is not a name that's used very often. So, my name gets mis-pronounced a lot. And I guess the fact that a name is uncommon gives others the liberty to mis-pronounce it, or to intentionally pronounce it as they will. I've been given names like Krishnappa, Krrishh, Krishna, Mustafa, and the list goes on. Which is why I prefer people using my middle name, Roshan.My nickname is 'Crato'. How I earned it is a pretty long story. People took liberties to mispronounce my name, or use rhyming words to make it more memorizable. So Christopher was sometimes replaced with words like Grasshopper, Philosopher and the likes. One such term was a geographical term, "Stratosphere", so some friends called me Cratosphere, which later got cropped to Crato. And they stuck with it. And I love it today. Only close friends call me that.
  2. I'm a very lazy person. But once I start doing something, I would'nt stop till it's all done perfectly. For instance, I'd feel really lazy to clean up my closet. But if I start, I would'nt stop till everything is spotless clean. I'm perfection-obsessed in a way.
  3. I'm not someone who likes meeting new people. Meeting people on the net is a different thing, but I like to interact only with people who I feel have the potential to remain friends forever. In other words, I'd rather have friends for life than just Hi-Bye friends. Which is probably the reason why I have only a handful of trusted friends. When I decide to call someone my friend, I invest all my trust, all my caring, 100% in that relationship, and so if I don't get the same in return, I get upset. So, I don't like going through a long process of identifying a potential friend, getting to know him/her, sharing my life and my emotions, giving a part of myself, and bonding. That's why I hate attending parties and outings, unless I know each and everyone present.

  4. I love all kinds of music. ALL kinds. Except of course the genres which i don't consider music at all. I listen to Pop, Rock, Techno, Filmi, Ghazals, Metal,Grunge,etc etc. But i HATE Rap, Hiphop and Trance.

  5. I can't dance. Most non-dancers have 2 left feet. But I have 2 left feet and 7 right feet, so you can understand how imbalanced my 'Attempted dance steps' are.

  6. I am very emotional. I can get hurt at very small, and sometimes stupid things. And all my emotions are extreme.

  7. I rarely forget my friends' birthdays. And I always expect ALL my friends to wish me on mine. I actually make a note of who wished me and who didn't. And I never dispose off birthday gifts. Even if they get old, or break, or if they weren't usable from the very beginning, or they didn't fit me, whatever, I still keep them. And I keep them for life. I even keep the gift wrapping paper.

  8. I eat to live. And I live to eat as well. I'm a complete foodie. I only avoid foods that are unconventional (read weird). Otherwise I never make a fuss. Which is why, today I can match any WWE wrestler in the weight category.


So well, these are the 8 things about me. I hereby Tag all the people who read this post. IF U DO NOT ACCEPT THE TAG, YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR 10 YEARS, 7 MONTHS and 238 DAYS. DO NOT IGNORE IT AND PASS IT OFF AS A JOKE :P. Adios

Sunday, 9 December 2007

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED


Well, I'm a relatively new blogger. I'd been hearing a lot about people being TAGGED, and I kept wondering what that meant. Ms.Harini tried her best to explain to me the nuances of being Tagged, and I don't really know if I understood anything at all. Nevertheless, I'm proceeding. So Guru Maiyya (Harini), here I go.


1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it - Well, I have one between my upper lip and my nose, which has become a hairless, fair thin line contrasting with my now dark complexion. Doesn't look like a scar though, looks more like as if I urgently need to wipe my nose [:d] Earned when I fell and my face knocked against a steel bedpost when I was 3.



2. What does your phone look like? - I had a Nokia 7250i. Lost it on March 30 2007. Since then, I've been using a Nokia torchlight piece, that's blue in colour. Dunno which model....like anyone would wanna know.



3. What is on the walls of your bedroom? - Nothing at all, except dried blue paint. When I sleep, I prefer closing my eyes. Can't see much in the dark anyway.



4. What is your current desktop picture? - Windows XP default. Call me boring, or too lazy to choose one. Or maybe I'm too distracted with other things on the net to think about Desktop Pictures [:p]



5. Do you believe in gay marriage? - Believe as in do they happen? Yeah, I believe they happen. Do I approve of em? To each his own, if they really feel they've found true love in their respective partners, and are committed to staying together forever, its ok, I guess.



6. What do you want more than anything right now? - A Happy Life, with that 'someone' to share it with. Alas, if only dreams were horses....



7. Last person who made you cry? - Nevermind.



8. What is your favorite perfume/cologne? - Nothing in particular actually. Actually, I haven't really tried too many brands. Among the Deos, Jovan Musk was good, and Cigar was good. Among perfumes, Brut and Jovan Sex Appeal.



9. What are you listening to? - Lotsa Paki stuff, their bands are really good yaar. I recommend AAROH and FUZON. Helps to have Paki netpals to keep you updated :)



10. Do you get scared of the dark? - Nope



11. Do you like pain killers? - Nah. Music and TV are my painkillers.



12. Are you too shy to ask someone out? - Of course I am...but then again, I wouldn't ask just anyone out. Rarely met someone like that.



13. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? - Anything, I'm not too fussy about food. Just that it should be something that's conventionally edible and doesn't arouse the nauseal glands.



14.Who was the last person who made you mad? - A placement agency female. She started in Broken English. I carried on in chaste tehzeeb waali Hindi, just to make her more comfortable. She got a little too comfortable for comfort, and started addressing me as "TU", "TERE KO" etc while I kept addressing her as "Aap". It was a complete put off.



15. Who was the last person who made you smile? - My Dog, Rocky actually. Last night, he jumped up on my bed and slept on my feet like a baby



16. Is someone in love with you? - Kaash. And so much better if it was mutual too.



Ok, so I'm done. Hope this is a proper tag post. Do comment. And Guru Maiyya, You ought to be the first who commented

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

ऐ - काश


ऐ - काश कि हम कभी मिले ही न होते,
गुलज़ार दिल में कभी खिले ही न होते,
न लगने लगता सच हर सपना,
उम्मीद के दामन कभी मिले ही न होते।

उन झील-सी आँखों में डूब ही न जाते,
उन प्यारी बातों में खो ही न पाते,
उस मासूमियत, उस भोलेपन,
उन कमसिन अदाओं से बहल ही न जाते।

जो मिलते नहीं तो बिछड ही न जाते,
ये रेत के महल कभी फ़ना ही न होते,
न पल-पल दर्द का आलम होता,
ये अश्क के साग़र कभी बने ही न होते।

हम काफ़िर कभी बने ही न होते,
यकीन-ए-इश्क से कभी हिले ही न होते,
यूँ मौत न आती तिनका-तिनका ,
ऐ-काश कि हम कभी मिले ही न होते।

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