WAJOOD - A DESPERATE POST

Okay, was really desperate to post something on V-Day! Two days late, I know..but then what the heck? This aint even a fresh post. Its almost 3 years old, written sometime in mid-2006. Never wanted to post this ever, but the reason I didn't want to post it doesn't hold any significance anymore...I think...

So here goes...

Kyun Dil Ke Is Nagar Mein
Hai Kabza Kisi Aur Ka?
Kyun Neend Hai Meri Khud Ki
Par Sapna Kisi Aur Ka?

Kyun Khud Ki Saji Mehfil Mein
Chaahun Saath Kisi Aur Ka?
Kyun Zindagi Ki Dhoop Mein
Chaahun Saaya Kisi Aur Ka?

Duaon Mein Bhi Meri
Kyun Hai Naam Kisi Aur Ka?
Kyun Aaine Mein Meri
Hai Aks Kisi Aur Ka?

Khud Pe Kaabu Na Raha
Hai Aalam Ab Kuch Aisa
Zindagi Khud Ki na Rahi
Wajood Ho Gaya Kisi Aur Ka !!

---- CLY (Still....Don't Ask Me Why? I Dunno)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

Finally blogging after some a few weeks rest. Had an accident on Jan 5. Was playing football with a few classmates. Scored a hat-trick to bring my team from 0-3 down to a lead of 4-3...to make it short, I was having real fun. And then it happened. A group was playing cricket on the same ground...the batsman went full-throttle with his shot and I was running in the direction of the shot (not knowing what was coming, of course)...and thwack!!!! The ball came hard, straight onto my left eye. Couldn't see a thing when I opened my eye after a painful struggle. A visit to the doc revealed that my retina was damaged and that there was a blood clot...but thankfully, the retina specialist that the doc guided me to told me that surgery wasn't required, and that I would recover after a month or two...or maybe four..but I would definitely be able to see again.

Man!!! I can't tell how how scared I was when I first couldn't see anything...its SHIT Scary!!!

My birthday was on the 9th, and I missed college. I thought this was gonna be the most boring birthday of my life, but buddies turned up home after college...it was lovely!! Had a blast!

Started going back to college yesterday. It aint easy, with right lights hitting you straight in the eye. But its better than staring at the celing :P

Was a lil upset today...its not a nice feeling when your friends have a split among themselves...for a reason involving you...then fight over you....and then put you in a position where you'd have to choose between them.

I wish for harmony again....

A distant memory hollers out to me and reminds me of a resolution I once made.......of not making new friends ever again...

I don't wanna choose!!!

Damn!!

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009

Another year has passed since I last made "New Year's Resolutions". And watched them all being broken shamelessly :P. Spent New Year's Eve sleeping...exactly the way I wanted to spend it :P. I so HATE parties.

Okay, so my Resolutions for the year 2009, many of em(almost all of em :P) carried forward from the previous year. Pardon me for sounding like an accountant :p

1. I resolve to get rid of all my scalp hair in phases. I have no hopes now of salvaging my thinning mane. Better to look like Amrish Puri than to look like Rajat Sharma.
2. No more poems. Atleast for this year. I laugh at them whenever I read em now :P
3. People say I bob my head a lot while speaking. F**king shit, got to get rid of it!
4. I shall not give too much importance to people who don't deserve it. Tuhis one is not gonna be as difficult as it was the last year :d
5. I shall learn to dance. Brought-forward item. Told ya you'll be seeing this in my next Resolution List.:p
6. But this time I'm desperate, coz I'm the Best Man for my cousin's wedding on Jan 31st. Scary :O
7. Got to learn atleast one musical instrument. Didn't happen the last year. Damn!!
8. I've got to learn to say "NO" to people. Even if I have to be rude! I'm Serious!
9. I Resolve not to beg people to visit my blog.....

HELL!! NO WAY!!

There, I've cancelled a Resolution already :P

WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY 2009!!!

ACID RAIN

Beads of sweat trickled down Sakpal's brows. He and three others carried the frame holding the body briskly through once-fertile barren fields. But the burden of a son's corpse can't be lightened by a few more shoulders.

None of them chanted. They probably realised the futility. Prayers hadn't gotten them rain since fifteen months now.

People here were dying either because of thirst, or by famine. Those who couldn't take the pain committed suicide.

The sweltering heat had claimed yet another victim, this time within Sakpal's family. Ganu was his only son. He was merely eight.

But Sakpal didn't cry. He only mumbled curses under his breath. He didn't fear DIVINE wrath anymore. He was certain HE wasn't listening.

Getting the wood and the shroud for the cremation was quite a struggle. Even while his son's body lay out in the open, ravaged by flies, he ran a few errands for the Sarpanch to raise money, when his pleas for a loan fell on deaf ears. But he didn't blame the Sarpanch. The Sarpanch atleast responded with a refusal.......his God, though, never said a thing.

Sakpal had dreams for his son. He had sent him to school, where kids of the 'better-offs' studied. Other poor farmers laughed at his "folly" and taunted him. But he wanted his son to have an education, and probably get a job in the city. Ganu would have taken them out of this village, to some place far away, where life would be better. Some place where God listened better. This village once had fields. Everyone produced something. And everyone was content. Not anymore. It hardly rained since the last year and a half. If at all it did rain, it would only be for an hour one day, and then nothing. The rain gods were teasing them it seemed.

His dream now lay motionless on his shoulder, dry, fly-infested, and slowly rotting. Ready to be consumed by a pyre. He felt uneasy. His head reeled. His loss was probably only now beginning to sink in.

They reached the crematorium grounds. As directed by the priest, the wood was arranged.

The body was laid on top of the heap.

Prayers were offered.

The corpse was walked around.

The pot was dropped.

The torch was lit.

But then it happened.

Betrayal......

Sakpal wailed out in anger.

The others joined him in angry protest.

Because, as if to add insult to injury and deny a dead child his due passage to a 'better life'....

.

..

...

....

.....

......IT RAINED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S. - This story won the 5th prize at "The Rain Drenched Contest" on The Writers' Lounge Blog. It featured in the top 6 posts, hence winning a "Super Six" badge :) Here it is.

AN AWARD

I've won an Award!! :)


Pratibha gave me this award. Must say it came as a pleasant surprise. Its great to win a new fan in just 2 readings :)

Thanks a tonne Gal!

Now...a lil bit about the award : (verbatim from Pratibha's blog...sorry for not being creative in that aspect :P)

This is the message for the award. It is to be passed to 8 other bloggers for the sentiments below. This award states that:

This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY- nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

Here is my list of people to pass this award -

To Pratibha...not just returning the favour, but also for being a multi-talented blogger. You've got to see her Drawings blog.

To SSNAB...for being the first person to introduce me to blogging. :)
And not to forget her writing talent and her creativity in making things out of junk.

To Sudha...for being a loyal reader and following up on my blog without me having to bombard her with reminders :P, and for making time out of her hectic MBA schedule to blog.

To Kriti...for her dark brooding posts, which I simply love. (much like her swinging moods :P)

To Kushal...for poems in which he wonderfully plays with words, even though most of the times I hardly understand what they mean :P

To Marj...for posts that I can almost always relate to (especially those dealing with diets :P)

To Pranay...for being there to help whenever I need help with blogging tips. By the way, the banner that you see on this blog is courtesy Pranay :) Cheers Dude!

To Tara..for being my blogospehere sis :)

Actually, I'd like to give it to a lot more people, like Rashi, Nishi, Teena, Radhika, Alaena, Alisha, Shane, Pooja, etc. Dang! Wonder why most of em are gals. ;)

So people, go ahead and find your awardees :)

2nd ANNIVERSARY

Gary was tired. After a long, tiring, fifteen hours at work, and a more tiring two hours of travelling to and from work in the crowded Mumbai trains, he ought to have hit the sack as soon as he reached home. But he didn't want to miss the special moment. He was still typing away on his laptop, catching up with long-lost pals, and people he would've otherwise not talked to had he met them face-to-face. The Internet has this great power of making unknowns the thickest and most intimate of friends, so what if only for as long as they remained logged in. He was shuttling between four windows now. He looked at the clock on the wall. Forty minutes to midnight, and he wasn't ready yet.

He changed his messenger status from "Available" to "Be Right Back". Pulling out his poem book and a pencil, and closed his eyes. Surely he'd be able to write a few pages on her. It was their 2nd Anniversary after all. And break-up anniversaries could make any heartbroken die-hard romantic pour out his words on paper.

But he couldn't. The first time round, he managed a couple of lines, and couldn't go further. He struck them off and started again. This time, the 4 lines that appeared seemed too cheesy and tacky. He struck these off too. A third attempt gave him utter crap, even by junior kindergarten standards.

He shuddered at what was happening. How could this be?Just a couple of months ago, he could create magic with words. Just a passing thought about Lavanya made him a tragic poetic genius, with grief and pain flowing seamlessly from his mind through his pen. He could write both in English and in Hindi. Friends admired him for his writing style, and always wondered how a nerdy strict academic suddenly developed this talent from. Maybe they didn't know that pain can create wonders.

But today, nothing seemed to happen. He always seemed to write well when he was in a brooding mood, and he was in such a mood even now. And yet, he couldn't write. Was it because work had preoccupied his mind? Or was it because he didn't love her anymore? It was true that he had developed feelings for Meryl, a simple, yet pretty co-worker at office, in the past few weeks. But he wasn't really sure about her. He wasn't really sure that he wanted to risk breaking his heart again. But he was damn sure that even Meryl couldn't make him completely forget Lavanya. She was his first love, and he knew he somehow still loved her and silently longed for her. She probably knew it too. So why then wasn't he able to express himself on paper today?

He grabbed his cellphone and searched for Lavanya's pic in his Images folder. He found it and took a close look at the once-familiar face. She somehow wasn't looking as sweet as she did a few months back though. He tried hard to keep it in focus for a minute. He couldn't. He scrolled down to look for Meryl's picture. He opened it...then he zoomed in for a better view at her features. It brought a wide smile on his face. He stared at it for a few seconds...the seconds turned to two minutes...3...4....and then for some reason the smile disappeared. He went back to Lavanya's picture. He stared at it hard. It seemed to have come to life all of a sudden.

The memories they shared till 2 years back flashed right in front of him. He remembered the way they met. How both of them didn't talk to each other for 3 days the first time they met at work...how they slowly became friends... how they moved on to be best friends from just friends...how they called and messaged each other all day...how they needed each other's help even in needless situations...how they fell in love...how they made promises to each other...how they wrote down names for their future kids...how they planned to have their wedding...

And then how one day she suddenly broke all ties...how she messaged him to break ties...how he cried all night for months...how her message suddenly turned up one day informing him about her marriage to some family friend of hers.
Gary's eyes now swelled up. He tore out a page from his poem book. He picked up his pencil and scriblled out a two-page poem in absolutely no time. He loved what he read. He basked in the glory of his tragic expression.

And then, convinced that this was the best poem he had ever written, he did the unthinkable.

Instead of putting it up on his blog....
...
...
...
...
...HE BURNT IT!!!.....
...

...

...
.......................................................and he moved on!!

LAST REGRET

Yuvi had lost his patience by now. He took a long, hard look at the shopping list in his hand. This was his third visit to the ‘shaving kit and accessories’ section in the past 20 minutes. The pretty young thing managing the section was beginning to look at him suspiciously, probably thinking he was trying to act fresh with her. Unfortunately for him, she was quite pretty. The last two times he had visited this section, he had dared to smile sheepishly at her. She did reluctantly return the gesture then, but this time she certainly didn’t look the least amused. This time, he swore he saw her lips whisper “idiot”. He certainly did feel like one. In his mind, he cursed his roomies.

Hostel shopping lists are usually like that – without a head or a tail, totally unorganized, with just names of roomies and lists of objects of desire (read shopping items) under the names. No one really cared about organizing the list. All they were concerned with was getting their names and items on paper. Planning the mission was the headache of the person who was doing the shopping. This week’s misfortune fell on Yuvi’s head – it was his turn to do the shopping this week, for himself and 4 other roomies. He had unwittingly decided to follow the list name-wise, meaning that he’d finish Ashu’s list first, then Tarun’s, followed by Abby’s, Shiva’s, and then his own. He was on Abby’s list now, and since Abby had asked for razors and shaving foam, just like Ashu and Tarun did, he was visiting this section of the store for a third time. Now that good sense finally hit him, he checked Shiva’s list to see if he needed the same. A scan of the list revealed that he didn’t. Yuvi swore under his breath again.

Quickly picking up the needful and walking away from this section, he saw a face that looked quite familiar from a distance. She was standing at the billing counter. Her face was sweet. Her skin was smooth and dusky, and without any blemish. Her fringed hair fell beautifully over her face, and though they covered the eyes, the long eyelashes crept out from underneath. Her lips were plump and as pink as a rose. His heart skipped a beat. He tried his best to walk towards her without letting her notice. He got close enough to have a better look of her face, just to make sure it was her. He stopped in his tracks. It was Khushboo alright. Their past flashed right in front of his eyes.

He remembered how they met on the first day of college, both being victims of ragging. She had to sing while he danced. She had done a decent job, he didn’t. The raggers had hated her performance, but they loved his. Raggers somehow love things that make them laugh, he had learnt then. Anyway, after the performance, he and Khushboo realized they were in the same class. They sat on the same bench that day, and thereafter too. They attended lectures together, bunked together, visited the cafeteria together, did their assignments together.

And then one fine day both magically decided that they wanted to spend their lives together as well. The whole college knew that they were inseparable. Even their parents had a doubt. Yuvi’s roomies never let him sleep at night. They kept pestering and teasing him about her. But he was happy. So was she. The good thing was that their academics were never affected. Both did quite well. Both wanted to be Software Engineers, and both were on the right track. Everything was going good and steady.

But like they say, all good things come to an end. The end came here too, and it was quite bitter. In the last year of their degree course, they weren’t able to spend enough time with each other. Both felt themselves being neglected. Words like “Love ya baby” and “Lets go out” were replaced by “You could’ve called first”, “Why should I always be the one to wish you first?”, “Is it only you who can be busy?”, and the likes. The cracks developed slowly but surely. It was there for everyone to see. Barely a month before their final examination, they broke off. They refused to even look each other in the face, leave alone call or SMS each other. But like most lovers, Yuvi couldn’t accept the fact that he had broken-off with his love of 3 years so easily. He pined for her to come back. He missed the moments they had spent together. But no, he never tried to go up and try speaking to her, or sort out matters. A whole lot of ego, yes, but another reason was that he wanted to make sure that she missed him too. He wanted her to make the first move. But she didn’t make the first move. Neither did he.

This was almost a year ago. And here she was right now, just a few feet away from him. He felt his heart was beating fast as he wondered whether he should speak to her. “Will she respond? Will she talk to me? Will she be happy?.” A million thoughts rushed to his head like waves during high tide. Finally deciding to strike a conversation, or atleast make his presence known, he tiptoed towards the billing counter.

He positioned himself a metre away from her, right in front of her face, hoping she’d notice.

She turned towards him.

He let out a faint smile, saying nothing.

She stared at him for a few seconds.

The look was one of shock, he sensed.

And then, she looked through him, pretending as if she didn’t notice. She paid her bill, and without turning back, she walked away.

And he was heartbroken again. For the next couple of weeks at least. And then he moved on.

He regretted trying to speak to her and vowed never to do it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever wondered how strange it is that you and a significant other were once strangers…and then you met, became part of each others’ lives…and then one day you part ways and are strangers again..strangers meet to become one, and then break apart to become strangers again? And sometimes you’re reluctant to try making things better, but when you finally try, you’re left with a bitter taste in your mouth, and regret ever having tried!

DOODLE 2

Ok, I'm not able to post more often nowadays...got a holiday today, in protest of the attack on Christians in Orissa. Wanted my next post to be a short story or a poem, but wasn't happy or depressed enough for those. And just when I lost hope, my friend Suzan pops up online, and voila!! I have an idea!!! Thanx buddy! [:)]

Ok, here's what I ended up with...I've titled it "Salvation Inverted"

Do the math yourselves! :d

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!

Hey y'all...posting after ages...MMS(MBA)lectures have finally begun. Joined XIMR, which is in the highly esteemed St.Xavier's campus in Fort, Mumbai. And it also is one of the coolest(if not the coolest) colleges in Mumbai...for the B.A and B.Sc stream students atleast. We MBA students aren't exactly in Paradise, you see. Assignments, presentations, more assignments, more presentations, compulsory library hours and computer centre hours, makes up at least 25 hours of our days. In between juggling hard-on-the-mind assignments and presentations and hoping for an early leave after lectures, we get lunch and tea breaks, which we spend in the Xavier's cafeteria. Nice place, sorta keeps you in touch with the latest fashion trends, or lemme say reminds us of how dinosaur-like (100% formal) our dressing style has become. And oh...not to forget the lingo! Great place to catch up on that, or maybe remind us of how fortunate we are in this aspect.

This one happened 3 weeks ago...never quite found the time to type it out earlier, just came back from a 2-day workshop at Khandala - we had fun...mebbe I'll tell you about it on a later post - and made time to push in a post.

I'm standing at the Chaat-Corner counter, during our lunch break. I'm alone because my sis is on her phone all day, and this was the first day of the course, and I don't know anyone else. I'm waiting for my plate of fresh(read stale) delhi chaat. The place is crowded with half the human race. As I spend the waiting period glancing at the greenery (non-human :P) around, a young gum-chewing zombie comes painfully slowly towards the counter. The zombie does a little hip-hopper style strut and spin move while approaching.....I bet he could've gotten to the counter a decade ago, crawling on one knee. He pushed back his glam-rocker wavy hair and his eyes rummaged through the goodies on display. Finally focusing his eyes on something that looked like a munchy, he opened his mouth.

Hip Hopper (holding up a lollypop) - Yaaa Bugga! How much fuh dis man?

Attendant - Kya saab?

Hip Hopper - HOLY SHIT DAWG! How much....kitna..kitna paisa?

Attendant - Paanch Rupiya.

Hip Hopper - WOAAHH!! FIVE F***ING BUCKS???? Whatcha Gonna do with all that loot bozo??

Attendant - HAIN?????

Hip Hopper (waving a candy bar) - And how much fuh dis??

Attendant (making an effort to comprehend) - 3 Rupeej (sic).

Hip Hopper - JEEZUS!!! 3 bucks huh? Fine, I'll take it!!

He pays the justifiably confused chap and walks struts like a hip-hopper once again, this time towards a table, around which his chums are seated. With a disgruntled look and a disapproving nod of his head, and a sweep of his hair off his eyes, he opens his oral orifice once again this time just to say-

"Chya-aaila!! Yede logon ko English aataa-hich nahi hai!!!!!"

DOODLE - DO !

Haven't posted since a long time. Tax returns for the whole family are keeping me busy in the daytime. I do stay on orkut and gmail almost all day, but its only at night that I'm actually able to chat well.

I've loved doodling since a long time. Doodling? Well, the IMVIRONMENT on Yahoo Messenger that allows you to draw and stuff. Some friends think I'm a moron [:P] for enjoying it. But then, a few friends share my passion..ok ok, they're not exactly passionate about it, but they're sporting enough to play along and join in the fun. A couple of em are serious doodlers too :)

Here's what I drew while chatting last night, with a friend of mine, Susan. Well actually, I drew it while she was away for some time, attending to a customer.



When she came back, we got a lil more innovative and gave "Sherkhan" a coll pair of Gogs. And we even gave the poor Khan a new name. "Kool Kat"! :)



And oh, there's more...I and a friend once had done something like drawing a vertical line through the centre of the page, each of us having one half, and venting our frustrations on each of our side of the line of control.:P "Abstract art" she called it. At the end of the session we'd give our individual drawing a title. So I and Susan did the same, and we came up with this.



She titled her side (the left is hers) "Intezaar"

And I titled mine....

Hell, no..I asked her to guess what I had named mine. She said the guy looked dejected, and so maybe the title was "Dejection"

I actually christened it "RELIEF".

Why RELIEF???

Doesn't the guy look like he's relieving himself on some street in Mumbai? :P