My son Nigel will be six months old in a little over a week. He recognises a few faces and voices, especially his Mumma's and Dadda's.
The wife loves singing to him, whether while feeding or while putting him to bed. I promised to chip in, but I reckon my voice is far from soothing, and so I'm yet to keep my promise. Wifey loves singing the numerals and the alphabet to him. Sometimes, it's hymns and Konkani lullabies. Most of the time though, like most first-time parents would, she falls back on nursery rhymes.
Maybe I never paid too much heed previously, but ever since becoming a father, I've become a lil extra careful about what I say in front of the kid. Which is why I squirm and flinch while reciting nursery rhymes to him. Almost all the nursery rhymes that we've been brought up on are absolutely morbid, wicked and ghastly sets of words that should never be uttered in front of innocent toddlers...ever. Some nursery rhymes should be rated PG-13 or A. Some might even be in the running for the dreaded R rating.
1) Rock-a-Bye Baby On The Tree Top
When The Wind Blows The Cradle Will Rock
When The Bough Breaks The Cradle Will Fall
And Down Will Come Baby, Bough, Cradle and All
What a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE thing to say to your own baby.
2) Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill
To Fetch A Pail Of Water
Jack Fell Down And Broke His Crown
And Jill Came Tumbling After
Do you really think your child enjoys visualising grotesque scenes of beheadings and breaking necks?
3) Sing A Song of Sixpence, Pocket Full Of Rye
Four And Twenty Blackbirds Baked In A Pie...
Grosse! Not just for vegetarians and Vegans!
4) Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Wall
Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall
All The King's Horses, And All The King's Men
Could Not Put Humpty Dumpty Together Again
May Monsieur Dumpty's soul Rest In Peace. Your child is really disturbed now.
5) Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had A Wife But Couldn't Keep Her...
Do you really want kids to learn about cheating wives and cuckolds, or vice-versa?
Filmi songs aren't better. So, No! DON'T bring on the Sheelas, Munnis, Jalebi Bais, Bubblys, Baby Dolls and other scum either.
Really tough being a parent these days.
This post was selected by BlogAdda as one of the Spicy Saturday Picks of the Week on 10th May 2014.