Friday, 9 May 2014

WICKED, WICKED RHYMES

My son Nigel will be six months old in a little over a week. He recognises a few faces and voices, especially his Mumma's and Dadda's.

The wife loves singing to him, whether while feeding or while putting him to bed. I promised to chip in, but I reckon my voice is far from soothing, and so I'm yet to keep my promise. Wifey loves singing the numerals and the alphabet to him. Sometimes, it's hymns and Konkani lullabies. Most of the time though, like most first-time parents would, she falls back on nursery rhymes.

Maybe I never paid too much heed previously, but ever since becoming a father, I've become a lil extra careful about what I say in front of the kid. Which is why I squirm and flinch while reciting nursery rhymes to him. Almost all the nursery rhymes that we've been brought up on are absolutely morbid, wicked and ghastly sets of words that should never be uttered in front of innocent toddlers...ever. Some nursery rhymes should be rated PG-13 or A. Some might even be in the running for the dreaded R rating.

Sample these:-


1) Rock-a-Bye Baby On The Tree Top
When The Wind Blows The Cradle Will Rock
When The Bough Breaks The Cradle Will Fall
And Down Will Come Baby, Bough, Cradle and All

What a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE thing to say to your own baby.


2) Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill
To Fetch A Pail Of Water
Jack Fell Down And Broke His Crown
And Jill Came Tumbling After

Do you really think your child enjoys visualising grotesque scenes of beheadings and breaking necks?


3) Sing A Song of Sixpence, Pocket Full Of Rye
Four And Twenty Blackbirds Baked In A Pie...

Grosse! Not just for vegetarians and Vegans!


4) Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Wall
Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall
All The King's Horses, And All The King's Men
Could Not Put Humpty Dumpty Together Again

May Monsieur Dumpty's soul Rest In Peace. Your child is really disturbed now.


5) Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had A Wife But Couldn't Keep Her...

Do you really want kids to learn about cheating wives and cuckolds, or vice-versa?

Filmi songs aren't better. So, No! DON'T bring on the Sheelas, Munnis, Jalebi Bais, Bubblys, Baby Dolls and other scum either.

Really tough being a parent these days.

Cheers




Image: http://ahurleypointofview.wordpress.com/

This post was selected by BlogAdda as one of the Spicy Saturday Picks of the Week on 10th May 2014.

40 comments:

  1. :'D LOL... Made me question my childhood, this :P

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    1. I'm surprised not all of us are bloodthirsty ogres today ;)

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  2. HAHAHAHAHA how did you even think this one out..hahahahahaahhaah brilliant.

    "Sing A Song of Sixpence, Pocket Full Of Rye
    Four And Twenty Blackbirds Baked In A Pie...

    Grosse! Not just for vegetarians and Vegans!"
    BWAHAHAHAHA

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    1. I didn't think it out. When you have kids of your own, you're gonna file a PIL for sure.

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  3. I totally agree with you... This has been on my mind since my niece and nephew were born. I was singing these English rhymes to them and just realized what a crap they are! I have banned anyone to sing these to them!!!
    And the first one- Rock a by Baby... OMG its horrible!!! So violent!!!

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    1. Really horrible. We teach em gory songs, give em toy guns and knives, let em watch sleazy stuff on TV...and then we wonder what the hell happened :p

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    2. Even cartoons show violence!!! For example Chhota Bheem... The guy fights in every episode!

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    3. Some cartoons are downright vulgar. The Japanese ones like Shin Chan for example.

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  4. You know a few weeks back I was pondering over the 'Rock a by baby' Absolutely horrible! Who wrote these rhymes!
    Superb post!! :D

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  5. Hahahaha i love the peter pan one and ofcourse i wud hate to sing about baked birds ishhhh! Awesome post. Hi-five on Jalebi Bai, munni shiela i wud never want my child to sing that!!!!

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    1. Hehe. Alas, try as much as we will, there's no hiding these songs from them. These are the songs played at every wedding, at every birthday party, on TV...there's simply no escape

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  6. hehe..lol..:P
    you sound like the- Rachel character from friends who dint want to sing anything compromising to make her daughter laugh but in the end- ends up singing big behinds just to make her laugh..:P

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    1. Big behinds??? What are you talking about? :P

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  7. hahaha!! The kind of mommy-daddy posts I like!!! Poor kids!!

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  8. I realized this when I began singing these to my son. Plus I saw a youtube video of humpty dumpty falling and cracking open. Was so disturbing!

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    1. Really... I wonder what will happen when Nigel sees a cartoon depicting these scenes

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  9. Interesting post, only a parent can think this way I guess. While it is tough being a parent these days, it is even tougher to remain a child and savor life of innocence.

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  10. lol this is too good..my childhood has been ruined ;)

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  11. Haha.. omg.. who would have thought this !!

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    1. The rhymes? Some sick old sadistic bastard for sure :P

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  12. This post has been selected for the Spicy Saturday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)

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  13. Congrats on being selected by team Blogadda. And yes, not easy to be a parent.

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  14. Well, that made me smile.
    Come to think of it, yes! these rhymes do sound quite horrible. Fatherhood turns you into quite a thinker, no? But why didn't these rhymes affect us? We practically grew up singing and dancing to them. Food for thought, eh?

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    1. Mebbe we all savour excuses to let go of our inner gory demons :p

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  15. Absolutely!! Never thought of it that way, CRD.

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    1. Your time will come...or has it? ;)

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  16. Also "Ringa ringa roses" is associated with the plague and black death. Kids do play ghastly games :-)

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    1. Yeah, I think I read about this somewhere. Kids have no clue what they're playing with.

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  17. Agree! We need nice rhymes :) Hindi Movie songs with decent lyrics will be okay too :)

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    1. And where do we find those? :p

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  18. Indeed what a plight... I was shocked and literally went into depression when I read that humpty dumpty fell... I used ask everyone if someone fixed humty dumpty or it. Oh it was heart breaking ;)
    It's either a choice between dreadful rhymes or ghastly bollywood song :P I don't know what I will teach when I become a parent... maybe make a rhyme out of multiplication table.Yeah my child's going to be dead boring :P

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    1. Hahaha. My wife sings the number system and the alphabet to our kid. Really bad dilemma.

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  19. Thanks for the nice blog. It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for.
    Start your own Preschool

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks.

      You're starting your own pre-school? All the best. :)

      Delete

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