Sunday, 19 July 2009


Its 10 weeks now since he hadn't come face to face with her. Seemed like ages to him. He knew it hardly mattered to her. He was desperate to speak to her. If she was desperate at all herself, it would probably be desperation to get rid of him. But the heart plays games - or is it the mind? And the games played are usually rough.

He had phoned her 6 weeks back - after 4 weeks of psyching himself up for the 'brave' move -  with some vague reason, and they'd had a lovely 36-minute conversation. He thought of calling her again, but I didn't have a convincing alibi. He knew she wasn't the types to fall for just any trick. Since then he'd been constantly reminding her of his existence by sending her silly sms jokes and inspirational messages. She used to message him back as well, with a "hi" or a "good morning/evening/night" at the end of the message.

But this was till 2 weeks back. She had suddenly stopped all contact for some reason. He hadn't stopped his message-barrage yet. But there was absolutely no reply at all. It was as if he didn't exist at all. He wondered what must've happened. Every time he'd send a message, he'd keep staring at his cellphone-screen, waiting anxiously for a reply. 10 minutes after every message he'd send her, if there was no reply, he'd get very upset, and keep looking back at his cellphone at 10-minute intervals.

This wasn't the first time this was happening to him though. Oh no, it wasn't! His mind raced back to 3 years ago. He was in love then - it was real love. It WAS!! But that one ended with a lot of pain, a longing, anxiety and Futility. And with depression. He had become a zombie then. Somehow he had managed to pull himself out of the pain only a year ago.

But he was now beginning to feel the same longing, the same pining, the same anxiety, the same wait....the same Futility!!!

A relapse of 3 years of pain? Hell, he didn't want that again! No he DIDN'T!!!

He picked up his cellphone and got rid of all the mushy stuff that could tempt him into sharing them. He got rid of his inbox. He deleted all the mushy songs he'd loaded in his playlist. All he needed to do now was get replacements - to fill up his now empty playlist.

He decided it was Heavy Metal now till the next season came. It was time to call Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Opeth, Killswitch Engage, Lamb Of God, King Diamond, Puddle of Mudd, and others to the party.

Maybe he was better off alone.


P.S. There's a CONTEST happening on the BLOGGERRATTI Community on Orkut, the theme being "WALKING IN THE RAIN". 



  1. I can't say if he was better off alone, but yes, if it became that much of a problem; then it was undoubtedly the wisest thing to do!

  2. are you sure if its a fiction?i somehow i could relate with everything narrated here. the msgs, 3 years...every damn thing.
    nice one.

  3. Oh so sad one should never give up. Could be the other person had a genuine reason for not replying.
    At least once he should have phoned or contacted her to clarify the matter.

  4. A clean start? Sounds good :)

    **All he needed to do now was get replacements - to fill up his now empty playlist

    I like how u put that across!


  5. ahem ahem.. d story shud hv been in first person :P ..n yes these msgs in d inbox tempt a lot. even i had deleted mine :D

  6. is this some true life thingy u wrote, I wonder :p

    But it is true, things do happen this way.

  7. i jus lik all d bands invited 2 d party....
    see!!! i visited ur blog..
    n i left a commnt tooo....aint tat fantastic!!:P lolz...
    gr8 writin style...i read a few posts.

  8. Oh he was totally better off alone. And trust me.. I did the same thing. Deleted every romantic song from my iPod.. erased every mushy wallpaper from my phone n PC.. It actually helps!!

    Too good. Very nice to relate to (:

  9. He was better off alone indeed!

    Really. Its not meant to be this difficult or this painful. Nothing is worth so much pain.

    Nice one!
    Could totally relate to it!

  10. nothing helps yaar. only TIME can heal!

  11. first,impersonal? nah! i don' think so.

    second,also, not ALL metal fixation is a direct result of a heartbreak, is it now?

    and THIRD and most important... it's not only loneliness...just about EVERYTHING loses meaning in a dimension where Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Opeth, Killswitch Engage, Lamb Of God take over!!! :D Yoo hoo bebae! \m/

    Needless to say I heart your post.

  12. very heart-felt... staying alone, i dont know if this is the best solution to the problem. donno if its a fiction or a real story but if i was in his place, blogging would have helped me a lot :)

  13. Awesome post... sounds pretty real..

  14. nice post... but as Angle from heaven said, he should have at least called or contacted her to clearify matter! might be, she had a reason and then he will have to repent on his decision in future?

  15. You know what?
    The most important key word in the entire post is the 'maybe' in the last line. Maybe he was better off alone... maybe he wasn't.
    I don't know why I have a feeling he may have to repent on this action later on or go back on it altogether...

    Well written though. The anxiety comes through very nicely.

  16. Your article seemed real. wasn't that kind of imagination man. good one keep writing shall follow urs in my blogroll.

    Just have a look at mine too


  17. Well written :)
    SOmetimes being alone teaches many things which eventually brings a smile to our face

    KEep writing and smiling

  18. Is love this painful? Puts me off. :( But overall, nice read. :)

  19. this cant be fiction..m sorri but just felt it..
    well written! the last line is amazzzin:)

  20. Ah..'m nostalgic..could imagine the fun in waiting for sms replies..and those sms-sms game which went on the whole night, leaving me drowsy the other day in office :)It's again a good narration of initial phase in love!

  21. it sure doesnt seem to be a fictional piece ... or u're one heck of a writer !!

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  23. He thought of givin up 2 early, it seems!! Nobody is better off alone..Love deserves another chance..MANY chances, in fact..remember, u HAVE 2 do a LOT of wrong things 2 finally do something right and feel GREAT abt it...ur man in d story jus needs 2 try harder..n have FAITH :) in God n in Love (actually, they're both the same :) )


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