Its 10 weeks now since he hadn't come face to face with her. Seemed like ages to him. He knew it hardly mattered to her. He was desperate to speak to her. If she was desperate at all herself, it would probably be desperation to get rid of him. But the heart plays games - or is it the mind? And the games played are usually rough.
He had phoned her 6 weeks back - after 4 weeks of psyching himself up for the 'brave' move - with some vague reason, and they'd had a lovely 36-minute conversation. He thought of calling her again, but I didn't have a convincing alibi. He knew she wasn't the types to fall for just any trick. Since then he'd been constantly reminding her of his existence by sending her silly sms jokes and inspirational messages. She used to message him back as well, with a "hi" or a "good morning/evening/night" at the end of the message.
But this was till 2 weeks back. She had suddenly stopped all contact for some reason. He hadn't stopped his message-barrage yet. But there was absolutely no reply at all. It was as if he didn't exist at all. He wondered what must've happened. Every time he'd send a message, he'd keep staring at his cellphone-screen, waiting anxiously for a reply. 10 minutes after every message he'd send her, if there was no reply, he'd get very upset, and keep looking back at his cellphone at 10-minute intervals.
This wasn't the first time this was happening to him though. Oh no, it wasn't! His mind raced back to 3 years ago. He was in love then - it was real love. It WAS!! But that one ended with a lot of pain, a longing, anxiety and Futility. And with depression. He had become a zombie then. Somehow he had managed to pull himself out of the pain only a year ago.
But he was now beginning to feel the same longing, the same pining, the same anxiety, the same wait....the same Futility!!!
A relapse of 3 years of pain? Hell, he didn't want that again! No he DIDN'T!!!
He picked up his cellphone and got rid of all the mushy stuff that could tempt him into sharing them. He got rid of his inbox. He deleted all the mushy songs he'd loaded in his playlist. All he needed to do now was get replacements - to fill up his now empty playlist.
He decided it was Heavy Metal now till the next season came. It was time to call Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Opeth, Killswitch Engage, Lamb Of God, King Diamond, Puddle of Mudd, and others to the party.
Maybe he was better off alone.
NOW PLAYING : MARILYN MANSON - TAINTED LOVE
P.S. There's a CONTEST happening on the BLOGGERRATTI Community on Orkut, the theme being "WALKING IN THE RAIN".
Click --> CONTEST DETAILS.