Thursday, 20 November 2008

2nd ANNIVERSARY


Gary was tired. After a long, tiring, fifteen hours at work, and a more tiring two hours of travelling to and from work in the crowded Mumbai trains, he ought to have hit the sack as soon as he reached home. But he didn't want to miss the special moment. He was still typing away on his laptop, catching up with long-lost pals, and people he would've otherwise not talked to had he met them face-to-face. The Internet has this great power of making unknowns the thickest and most intimate of friends, so what if only for as long as they remained logged in. He was shuttling between four windows now. He looked at the clock on the wall. Forty minutes to midnight, and he wasn't ready yet.


He changed his messenger status from "Available" to "Be Right Back". Pulling out his poem book and a pencil, and closed his eyes. Surely he'd be able to write a few pages on her. It was their 2nd Anniversary after all. And break-up anniversaries could make any heartbroken die-hard romantic pour out his words on paper.


But he couldn't. The first time round, he managed a couple of lines, and couldn't go further. He struck them off and started again. This time, the 4 lines that appeared seemed too cheesy and tacky. He struck these off too. A third attempt gave him utter crap, even by junior kindergarten standards.


He shuddered at what was happening. How could this be?Just a couple of months ago, he could create magic with words. Just a passing thought about Lavanya made him a tragic poetic genius, with grief and pain flowing seamlessly from his mind through his pen. He could write both in English and in Hindi. Friends admired him for his writing style, and always wondered how a nerdy strict academic suddenly developed this talent from. Maybe they didn't know that pain can create wonders.


But today, nothing seemed to happen. He always seemed to write well when he was in a brooding mood, and he was in such a mood even now. And yet, he couldn't write. Was it because work had preoccupied his mind? Or was it because he didn't love her anymore? It was true that he had developed feelings for Meryl, a simple, yet pretty co-worker at office, in the past few weeks. But he wasn't really sure about her. He wasn't really sure that he wanted to risk breaking his heart again. But he was damn sure that even Meryl couldn't make him completely forget Lavanya. She was his first love, and he knew he somehow still loved her and silently longed for her. She probably knew it too. So why then wasn't he able to express himself on paper today?


He grabbed his cellphone and searched for Lavanya's pic in his Images folder. He found it and took a close look at the once-familiar face. She somehow wasn't looking as sweet as she did a few months back though. He tried hard to keep it in focus for a minute. He couldn't. He scrolled down to look for Meryl's picture. He opened it...then he zoomed in for a better view at her features. It brought a wide smile on his face. He stared at it for a few seconds...the seconds turned to two minutes...3...4....and then for some reason the smile disappeared. He went back to Lavanya's picture. He stared at it hard. It seemed to have come to life all of a sudden.


The memories they shared till 2 years back flashed right in front of him. He remembered the way they met. How both of them didn't talk to each other for 3 days the first time they met at work...how they slowly became friends... how they moved on to be best friends from just friends...how they called and messaged each other all day...how they needed each other's help even in needless situations...how they fell in love...how they made promises to each other...how they wrote down names for their future kids...how they planned to have their wedding...


And then how one day she suddenly broke all ties...how she messaged him to break ties...how he cried all night for months...how her message suddenly turned up one day informing him about her marriage to some family friend of hers.
Gary's eyes now swelled up. He tore out a page from his poem book. He picked up his pencil and scriblled out a two-page poem in absolutely no time. He loved what he read. He basked in the glory of his tragic expression.


And then, convinced that this was the best poem he had ever written, he did the unthinkable.



Instead of putting it up on his blog....
...
...
...
...
...HE BURNT IT!!!.....
...
...
...
.......................................................and he moved on!!

88 comments:

  1. Losing some1 you love is tragic. And when you begin to realise you are moving is even more scary. It makes you wonder whether you loved the person at all. You know whatever they said was not true. They said that they would love you forever, didn't they? But then was whatever you promised false too? How can you fall out of love with some1 who you promised to love forever? You become just like that..Unable to keep a promise...

    But what we tend to forget is that without a relationship all those promises don't exist. Life is about moving on. Love doesn't happen just once as much movies would like us to believe. Love is like life --FLUID... I, personally, also don't believe that your first love is special or the best... But yeah, your first heart break is... :)

    And...Write more as when you get time.. :)

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  2. similar to smthing my frnd said : never share ur best work... n ya pain does helps u create magic,,, thats how i started writing poems

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  3. Whoa Brother! Excellent work! Loved the entire story, I was like "What will Gary do?", beautiful ending! And yeah, tragedy does bring out the best in people! Well said! Keep the words flowing alright! :)

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  4. i want to write a comment .. praise you not for the beauty in your literature ... but for the way you thought out your story ... but i really can't find words , fearing they mightn't be worthy enough.

    great work .... with your permission i would like to write something on Gary's best poetry... and it would be a song.

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  5. Somehow, there seems to be much more personal involvement (yours.. of course!) than just as an author...

    This one strikes as if it comes straight from the heart.

    The end.. the act of moving on.. was a very important element!
    M glad you made Gary do that!


    Kudos!!

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  6. hey I too have to agree with what Creation has said... Is this coming from a personal experience?? It definitely looks like it.. In case it is, u have already done what is the most appropriate thing, moving on ! If it is not, then hats off! tough 2 bring dat emotion from imagination.. btw, y is dat its always girls in movies n stories breaking off relationships for no reason??! I m just curious to know :)

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  7. Amazinggggggggg!!!!

    I'm speechless.Really loved it.

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  8. Beautiful and tragi-comic in some ways. Cant hardly wait for your next masterpiece Chris !

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  9. wow... never expected such an ending...

    Your story has a very good structure.

    check out mine, i posted this at around the same time you did...

    http://insanelypositive.blogspot.com/2008/11/rich-poor-machine.html

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  10. You have a way with describing the details that i really like. It is very easy to actually imagine the scene. I wish you didnt have a black background to your blog tho.. Always harder to read and a strain on the eyes. :(.

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  11. nice!!! I loved it..probably coz i could relate to it...good work!!

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  12. Well written! why are suddenly so many blogs on heart-breaks!?!? -raises eyebrow-
    on a more serious note, totally felt it!!

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  13. Well written! why are suddenly so many blogs on heart-breaks!?!? -raises eyebrow-
    on a more serious note, totally felt it!!
    p.s: i wrote both the above comments... bt i wanted my blog id to be advertized :P

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  14. wow this is superb work.. keep going.. yeah some of my works came from similar situations..

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  15. CAme frm d heart..reached straight 2 d heart...very beatifully written..

    P.S. : M happy 4 u :)

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  16. wow...amazing story..n beautiful expression..ab now this is wat everybody writes for you...n believe me we are not wrong..
    great dude!1 u rock...

    n well..wat an ending...BRILLIANT..
    :D
    keep rocking...\,,/
    cheerz!

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  17. really good. Hardly get to read stuff that teaches you something in return, it's always about how people fall in love again after a break up..but you've highlighted the importance of moving on, or should i say just the mere thought. Marvelous end.
    the style of writing was like any other post of yours, but this story will stay in mind for a long while.

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  18. @Rashi - VERY VERY TRUE Gal! Thats what makes most of the romantics hesitate in moving on...we wanna be heroes who keep their word for eternity :)

    Thanx gal...yea, hopefully will be writing more often this month atleast.
    Cheers

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  19. @PRetty Me - Actually, the idea wasn't of not publishing your best work..it was of writing something to an estranged lover and then burning it, so as to end with it :P

    yea..pain is the real inspiration for i think most poets :)

    CHeers

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  20. @Tara - heya lil Sis
    Thanx!

    p.s-Did u finally join orkut?
    :)

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  21. @Mike - hey thanx man.u really like it that much? gee, thanx :)

    and oh dude..sure man, go ahead and write ur song..and lemme know wen uve done it :)

    Cheers

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  22. @Creation - hey thanx..well yea..as a blogger u know that almost everything that u write comes from personal experiences(even remote ones)

    yup, wanted to make him move on..wish he'd moved on a year back..no actually i think this was the right time :d

    Ciao

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  23. @sudha - umm..yea, well..in a way :P

    arre its not that gals always end as as villains..but in garys case it had to be a gal na..considering that gary is straight :P

    Cheers

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  24. @Where Thoughts - hey thanx :)

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  25. @Anna Chronism - geez..did it turn out a lil comic as well? dint intend to :P
    THanx gal..yea, will keep u posted for sure :)

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  26. @smile - thanx man.yup ive read it and commented.

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  27. @marina - thanx gal :)
    well ive always loved the color black.
    firstly, it is said that using black backgrounds consumes less power.
    go to www.blackle.com for more...

    secondly, gives my blog a brooding,dark feel :d
    will try to make the text visibilty better though

    Cheers Gal

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  28. @pooja - thnx gal.
    Pata nahin yaar...cupid isnt doin his job well probably..i think he needs to have
    a performance appraisal and get sacked :P

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  29. @pooja again - Pata nahin yaar...cupid isnt doin his job well probably..i think
    he needs to have a performance appraisal and get sacked :P

    damn..that didn'y really help with publicity :O
    ;)

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  30. @Kalidas - hey thanx man
    yup, personal experiences offer u better and real ideas :)

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  31. @Shirls - thank you!
    hehe, thanx :)

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  32. @Nikkita - hey gal..thnxxxxx yar...ur being too generous :d
    btw, wens ur next post?

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  33. @hellbound - hey thanx yaar. yea, people ought to move on after some time..life is too
    short. but then everyone is different u see,,,some realise it later. better late than never
    :d

    Cheers

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  34. damn good story .i really loved it. Indeed, love hurts a persons feelings n emotions.

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  35. Hi .. Here is somethign for you .. Hope you like it :

    http://creatingnewblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-first-blog-award.html

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  36. u know being just a 17 year old girl in just another corner of this world, I have seen my best friend die for the one she loved. It is very very easy to say that you should move on even if the one you loved betrayed you or left you in the middle of nowhere. But it's a killing pain. A pain you cannot escape and people die in this pain. As I read along, I could actually visualize Gary's situation and recalled what my best friend went through.

    Amazing imagery and the concept was just *mwah*
    And you're absolutely true...Broken Hearts have a silent creativity...
    :)
    Cheers

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  37. Well organized thoughts!!Is it a heartbreaking season??..read lotza heart breaking blog posts!!

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  38. You can pass the award toa ny one ... and i bet you will know many deserving ppl other than me :) thanks for the visit and comment !

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  39. loved it for the way it ended....d rest was xpected considering the high standards u had set 4 yoself

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  40. well chris....i hv always enjoyed reading all of ur posts...n u r a ery good story-teller....hats off to u frnd!!
    n this is simply superb...well written with emotion....if we humans just knew how to move on....life will become very easy.

    Keep writing...:)

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  41. nice one!

    The thing I liked the most was "MOVE ON" thingy... I think that's the best one can do... :)

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  42. yes ...being with some one close and losing them is really bad....gary must have loved lavanya for years...but when she informed him abt her marriage to her family frnd....i understand how bad it wud be for gary......life isnt evrything abt relationship and love....they r made and broken... may be only true love remains forever....may be it w as a fake love of lavanya.....u have described it well.....even i never knew that such things can change people.....like he used to be a good poet n all ...then after seeing images then he writes one of his best poem....nice work.... guess ppl like him shud move on in life ...wht say


    and yeah sorry for late comments ...was damm busy with submissions and study works...so got time today


    and yeah one more thing..this isnt ur personal experience eh!!!

    nice post to read

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  43. Nicely written but too cliche

    Personally i don't like sentimental crap as i have a friend who bores me to death with it.

    Try something different. You definitely have the skill.

    And dont use numbers[1 2 3] write one, two...

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  44. Adwaita Deshmukh8 December 2008 at 21:57

    hey i really liked very much!
    i thought u cud edit it a bit more coz u took a bit long to explain. also, i thought it wd hv been better if u hadn't written the last line...it wasn't necessary for a short story. m sorry if i'm criticizing too much but i only comment like this when i really like the thing...
    and honestly, it was very realistic n true. i also liked ur style! keep writing...

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  45. Breath Takingly Beautiful !

    i lack words to comment on this one criss :)

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  46. I Loved this.. and the way you penned this down!! Thank for stopping over at my blog.. and Yes I joined your group on orkut! Keep writing you do a beautiful job of it!!

    I'll be back I am sure!!

    Ne

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  47. It is sooo true that a drastic change/impact in someones life can bring about thier creativity.

    Just like Gary I belv most of us if not few can relate to our writing skills as something that came out of a tragic exp.

    Coming to ur story...chrissyy..every post is different, vibrant and keeps u on the edge guessin.

    This one was out standing with emotions carried out well and the entire flow is just amazing.

    Now that I am bak I hope to see more of ur posts...:)

    Love
    Tee

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  48. Thank you for dropping by...

    I quite enjoyed reading this story and a very interesting end.

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  49. Ask me...Iv got an enitire blog for him.. lol.. it takes some real effort and guts to burn the best thing you've ever written... and move on. it hurts...

    Thank you for writing this :)

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  50. hey bro - nice story - was it abt GAby and Lavina???? rather you changed the name to Gary and Lavanya - lol

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  51. Loved it the first time. Loved it again. I do something like this a lot of times. I don't burn them though. I keep them. I have a problem with letting go.

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  52. Haunting. Is all I can say.

    Really REALLY well written.

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  53. loved your writing dude
    hmm....going through all yer posts!

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  54. beautifully written!
    we often like to live in pain only because we like what it makes us turn into...we fall in love with the miserable image and bask in its glory...in the glory of pain and the magic it creates...
    but we tend to forget that we are losing much more in the bargain...the pain surely makes a poet outta us but kills something deep within--the survivor!
    the choice is ours..hanging on or letting go!
    and the worst part is--either way it isnt easy :)

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  55. cool! loved the end...it would have been so stupid to just f***in post the poem on a blog, or keep it someplace safe and wriggle and writhe in the same old memories again...moving on is tough as it is.

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  56. @sunflower - hey thanx. Yes Indeed :) Experienced eh? :P

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  57. @Pretty - Thanx a lot for the award gal. Touching :)

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  58. @Shruti - Feel bad for ur frnd, mebbe she shudnt have taken that step. Who knows where she wouldve been today. Mebbe she'd have been a lil less sad today, like me

    Thnx Gal :)

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  59. @Hashan - is it? :P damn..i thought i was different..aargh :P

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  60. @Pretty - Ok, jus did that :)

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  61. @Alex - man, i wanted it to be unpredictable..anyways, thnx man :)

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  62. @Eisha - Oh yea, but then if we all moved on without any struggle, we wouldn't be human, no? :)
    Cheers

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  63. @Solitary - no probs man. Thanx. Personal Experience...hmm..well ... ;)

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  64. @Nikhil - oops. sowwie mate :P. senti is not crap man. anyway to each his own.

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  65. @.a. - aww. dont say that. just a word or two..plzzzz :P

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  66. @singlendacity89 - Hey thanx for joining gal :)

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  67. @Tina - hey thanx gal :) oh yea, ur gonna see me back with a vengeance :P

    ReplyDelete
  68. @Alisha - heheh. alas, u cant burn it down :P But hey, dont u ever delete it...its got our comment u see :)

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  69. @Love Me NOT - arre no no. not u two. i dunno how it jus came to my mind...i swear :O

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  70. @The LOVER - hehe. so do i :P. i dunt even dispose gift wrappers :P

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  71. @Sorceror - U are? Gee thanx :)

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  72. @Pri - Oh yea, i think ur right. we kinda romanticise our pain. and bask in self-pity. But it leads to a lot o masterpieces in the process. no? :)

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  73. @harshad - True mate, very true :)

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  74. @kaber - ___________! (response-less) :P

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  75. i could sense a lot of resemblance btwn gary n one of my good old frnd...... n i liked the end..... one must realise grooving over ur past makes no sense when u knw dat the oder person doesnt need u anymore..... so moving on is d best and d rgt option

    regds

    Rashmi Pillai

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  76. first love is hardest to forget but there is asaying if you love someone deeply set it free and if its yours it will return to you some day.
    ...Nice story , very touching and well scripted.

    http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/

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  77. Nice depiction of the protagonist's emotions.Very realistic!

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  78. thats how even i started writing poems ....

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  79. Sometimes in situations like this although it hurts its better to take agrip and move on.

    http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/

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