Thursday, 10 April 2008

TO KILL A 'CLUCKING' BIRD


Sid looked at his watch. It was only 7 pm. Ann hadn't come back from her mom's yet. The old hen in their backyard was her usual cranky self, clucking away to her own mad glory.
Sid was bored. He was terribly hungry. The clucks were making him irritable too. He was getting impatient. T'was the season of LENT, and they'd been having nothing but DAL-MEAL COMBOS for the past 2 weeks. Seemed like 2 decades. Rice and DAL-Fry...Roti and DAL Makhni...Fried Rice and DAL.


DAL...DAL...DAL...BAH!!! He wasn't gonna have dal today, NO WAY! He couldn't wait 3 more weeks for the annual post LENT-Easter "Chicken-Massacre" to take place. He wanted it NOW! Anne would take an hour or 2 to get back. Now was his chance! The clucks continued outside. The neighbours yelled to complain like they used to everyday.


He had the perfect alibis to get rid of it. He went to the kitchen and brought out his Samurai-edge chopper. But something made him stop in his tracks. 'What would I say to Annie? First of all, it was Lent. Wouldn't it mess up their LENTEN vows? Also, the hen might have been a little too cranky..she might have pecked at them a couple of dozen times this week...the neighbours might be as irritated as they were of her DECIBEL-CRASHING fortitude. But those weren't good enough reasons to justify this act. How could he do that? Would it be right to do it simply because he didn't wanna have DAL again? Should he go ahead..that too to a hen from his own HOME's......

He stopped thinking.

A new thought came to his mind.

It was a EUREKA moment.

HE confidently went out, brandishing his chopper, seeking his soon-to-be dinner table centre-piece.

Two hours later, Annie opened the door with her set of keys.

"Honey, I'm home."

"Hey babes,go have a quick wash. I've prepared something special for dinner tonight."

"Oh really?", she said in jest. "Gimme 10 minutes."

The shower and 'under-dressing' took about 20 minutes. Enough time for Sid to set the table. 2 plates, cutlery, a plate of rice, a tray with salad, a bowl of DAL, and a HUGE platter, with an even BIGGER steel cover over it, rested on the table.

"So whats special?", she asked as he helped her sit.

"See for yourself."

"Oh wow! Rice that I cooked, Dal that again I cooked, salad, and...", she lifted the cover and suddenly her eyes were bloodshot seeing the chicken roast. "SIDNEY!!!...WHAT THE..."

"Relax Honey"

"SHUT UP!!..YOU...WHAT IS THIS???YOU KNOW ITS LENT, DON'T YOU?"

"Honey"

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Baby"

"YOU'RE SUCH A..."

"BABY..Its our hen...the hen from our backyard. OUR HOME HEN" He now expected her to have the same EUREKA moment that he had 2 hours ago.

She stopped yelling.

The sane thought came over her mind.

She smiled at him.

They had their feast.

There was no guilt.

They both knew that their LENTEN promise to only have DAL was still intact!!

....

....

....

....

After all..."GHAR KI MURGI DAAL BARABAR" :P

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Haha, wanted to write a weird story. Especially after reading a blog which has brilliant weird stories. Check out http://fubar69.blogspot.com/

I'm just a beginner, please don't hate me just yet! [:P]

66 comments:

  1. Oh My god!!! That was funny....Weird yeah but funny

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  2. Gosh that was hilarious. Looking forward to more such stories :)

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  3. wow yaar!! that was brilliant!!! loved it :)
    can't imagine u writing shayari adn this together!! :D

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  4. HAHAH!!!! AWESSOOOMEEEE BRO!!!! TOO good! how did u manage 2 think of dat!! hehehe..really funny..im STILL laughin! :P

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  5. tht one was really nice..kickass endin..carry on ..looking forward for more..

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  6. oh well...that was nice :) always good to read stories from other people :)

    though good that most of your readers know Hindi, otherwise the twist would be beyond the English speaking population!

    Good work. Keep writing
    and thanks for the link :)

    N

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  7. good one:)
    and did u get your mobile back?

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  8. oho... cant stop laughin... u keep tendin to write better n better... cant stop envyin u

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  9. Weird one - even with my Hindi limitations I understood it! Did you write it yourself

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  10. brilliant...great...clap clap...awesome....i am going back to check the link u have given....

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  11. gr8 one!!!
    destroy some more hindi idioms...
    i am a veg. i always destroy this in my home saying gar kee dal murgi barabar

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  12. man...... itna lamba P.J.. lol!
    very funny.. out of the box post.. keep posting dude.. really gud..

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  13. LOL...damn it was funny...kya ending re....hillarious i say...Nice one....keep it up

    cheers
    tee

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  14. nice blog and funny sory like it and waiting for more ...

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  15. he he he!
    I wish you come up with many more such realizations of proverbs. But It was kindaa wierd...With the setup and the scene I was forced to think that It was going to be something serious..But Nice attempt and Keep it going

    Cheers

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  16. Lol

    (Came in from the Bloggerati community on orkut.)

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  17. This is really funny and the fact that this post starts with my name makes it even funnier.

    Way to go, Chris

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  18. Sigh ! What do I say??
    Kick - ass post [:D]

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  19. gr8!!!!

    i don't think ur a beginner..

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  20. HAHAHA..that was MIN-BLOWING!!!

    never read a more stupid, yet funny story in my life ...yet :P

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  21. :)
    Great attempt...Weirdo!!!

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  22. haha...utterly weird!!

    Keep dreamologging:P (eeks)

    my version of (dreaming + blogging...:P)i know weird!!

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  23. lol..one hell of a silly and funny post.

    liked it although i HATE PJs.
    [:P]

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  24. Ha ha.. That was real funny, long but funny

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  25. xnOMG, tht was carzy and funny!! chris, if this jus d beginning, then dont let us stop u.. keep ur wild thots flowing :):)

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  26. Ha ha ha.. That was weird.. and rather I would call it a DJ - Disastrous joke.. he he

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  27. neat!!

    when you start readin this one... there are absolutely no hints as to the way its goin to end...u've pulled it off in a nice way....

    gud one!

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  28. Hahaha.....the very cliched "GHAR KI MURGI DAAL BARABAR" put across very humorously......i loved every bit of it!!!!

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  29. hehehe...initially i had this smug look on my face...one of an unpretentious lady full of hate towards u...well fer the sole reason(don laff)i hv a pet rooster.,,yea!but towards the end...i kinda fell on my face...lol...n thnx fer appreciating my feelins...u write really well...din get the time to read much but i'll keep peepin :)

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  30. Really funny...! Written in an amazing way.. I really liked the whole presentation of the story.

    Keep writing :)

    Thanx for commenting on my blog :D

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  31. hillarious!!!! well written


    keep posting !!

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  32. "GHAR KI MURGI DAAL BARABAR" :P

    hahahah
    indeed a weird story
    lolzzz

    cheers

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  33. Wow that was a really freaky story...
    And quite hilarious too...

    :-)

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  34. haha!! unpredictable! i would have never thought of that sorta end for this..hehe!
    weird, yes. lol.
    btw..this post just made me chicken-hungry! :P

    thanks for droppin by my blog..:)

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  35. Brilliant.extraordinaire!
    ..no,rakhi sawant isnt my friend.tho i wish she was,freak.the one in my blog happens to be a clever girl who can do hilarious imitations of the muse.

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  36. hellos...what a hilarious story!! i laughed till my stomach ached!

    keep posting such wonderful stories...

    ciao.

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  37. omg!!...it was so unpredictable n offcourse hilarious.....

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  38. Hilarious!! How did you come up with that!! lolzzz
    I wish I pull that on my mom!

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  39. That was a naice one.very interesting way of narration.Expecting more from you.
    When u get time visit MAN IN PAINTING...

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  40. chrisso! readin an unusual story ... n then enjoying da innumerable comments! phew! amazingly satisfying! :D

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  41. :-) That was really hilarious...funny...and witty !!!

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  42. hey that was a good one...very funny...quite innovative

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  43. i just loved it ....i mean i cud relate to sid ( cud match it as once had taken a vow to not to hav it for sumtime ...and breaking the vow was all my pleasure.......) n must say wot an ending ya "GHAR KI MURGI DAAL BARABAR"

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  44. Ok, you made me smile. Thanks.:)

    Hope Harper Lee doesn't get to hear of this post.;)

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  45. where d u get such wired ideas from???

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  46. thts ws good one chris .......I didnt knw u write too:)

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  47. ghar ki murgi dal barabar ... I guessed it in the middle !

    Nice job though ....

    Try reverse Engineering ...
    If u have a bottom line. ... build events in the reverse order ... and u can come up with many things .... :)

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  48. he he!! this was good!. i thought that i knw teh ending but it came out to be completely different!!

    nice :)

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  49. haha... Nice way to start to be weird ;)

    Keep Posting..

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  50. your post pic...
    errrrrrrrrr....made me hungry

    Funny dude..Funny!!

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  51. LOLz !! liked coming here after so long.. blogrolling u now !!

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  52. Oh my god thats so mean you killed your pet chicken and ate it!!!
    but I must say the narration was humourous!!!

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  53. Heh! The story was really funny! Great work! :-)

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  54. It isn't weird...
    i liked it:)
    atleast i make out to give smile..sply on DAAl and that bechari murghi :) lolz
    keep writing...

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  55. Hmm the whole story was lost on me thanks to it being contained in one last sentence! :O got it translated, and kinda get it. nice!

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